14 days and counting - hello everyone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 2
14 days and counting - hello everyone
Hello everyone. I’ve read through some of these forums here and impressed by how much you all support each other.
A couple of weeks ago (the evening of 12/11/10 to be exact), I decided the drink that was in my hand at that time was my last. Why? Because I did something I had avoided doing for the past 5 or 6 years – read up on the impact alcohol abuse can have on your body and internal organs. I’m not a stupid person. I have known all along that abusing alcohol has very detrimental – and eventually fatal – impact to one’s health. But, I knew that if I buried my head in the sand and put it out of my mind, I could go on abusing it.
I’m in the middle of a bit of a health scare – and that’s frankly what got me to start reading more about the effects of alcohol. The health scare may be nothing – or it may be something. I won’t know until I go to the doctor – which I plan on doing this week. I’m scared. I hope I have not done permanent damage to my liver or kidneys, but I fear that I have… I have been scared into stopping drinking. It’s too bad that it had to come to that, but that’s what it took for me. I pray that I wasn’t too late.
For the past few months, I was drinking about a ½ bottle of vodka a night. Not every night, but probably in the range of 3-4 nights a week. I have been abusing alcohol, however, for several years (probably 6-7 years) and there have been periods of time where I would drink about a ½ bottle every night for 2-3 week straight before backing off a little bit.
I’m not proud of this – I’m embarrassed by this. The amazing thing is that I’ve had no withdrawl symptoms and this is my 14th day sober. This is the longest I’ve gone without a drink in probably 2 years.
I’m not sure why I’m writing all of this – I guess maybe to get it off my chest and tell some folks who I think will understand. Nobody in my personal life knows of my problem. Maybe one day I will work up the courage to tell someone, but for now it’s just between me and whoever is reading this…
I’m confident that I’ve permanently ended my drinking. It won’t, however, be easy. I haven’t had many “moments” in the past two weeks, but this weekend there were a couple of times when I thought of heading to the store to pick up some vodka. I didn’t do it. And I was successful at pushing those thoughts out of my head fairly quickly. I’m sooooo afraid, though of eventually failing. I’m getting stronger each day, though , and I hope the day will soon come when I never feel like I want or need a drink again.
Anyway, sorry for my rambling. It feels good though to get this out. Thanks for reading. You seem like a great group of people and I hope each of you are finding the same strength to get through your days of sobriety as well. I hope to find an additional source of strength from you all here.
A couple of weeks ago (the evening of 12/11/10 to be exact), I decided the drink that was in my hand at that time was my last. Why? Because I did something I had avoided doing for the past 5 or 6 years – read up on the impact alcohol abuse can have on your body and internal organs. I’m not a stupid person. I have known all along that abusing alcohol has very detrimental – and eventually fatal – impact to one’s health. But, I knew that if I buried my head in the sand and put it out of my mind, I could go on abusing it.
I’m in the middle of a bit of a health scare – and that’s frankly what got me to start reading more about the effects of alcohol. The health scare may be nothing – or it may be something. I won’t know until I go to the doctor – which I plan on doing this week. I’m scared. I hope I have not done permanent damage to my liver or kidneys, but I fear that I have… I have been scared into stopping drinking. It’s too bad that it had to come to that, but that’s what it took for me. I pray that I wasn’t too late.
For the past few months, I was drinking about a ½ bottle of vodka a night. Not every night, but probably in the range of 3-4 nights a week. I have been abusing alcohol, however, for several years (probably 6-7 years) and there have been periods of time where I would drink about a ½ bottle every night for 2-3 week straight before backing off a little bit.
I’m not proud of this – I’m embarrassed by this. The amazing thing is that I’ve had no withdrawl symptoms and this is my 14th day sober. This is the longest I’ve gone without a drink in probably 2 years.
I’m not sure why I’m writing all of this – I guess maybe to get it off my chest and tell some folks who I think will understand. Nobody in my personal life knows of my problem. Maybe one day I will work up the courage to tell someone, but for now it’s just between me and whoever is reading this…
I’m confident that I’ve permanently ended my drinking. It won’t, however, be easy. I haven’t had many “moments” in the past two weeks, but this weekend there were a couple of times when I thought of heading to the store to pick up some vodka. I didn’t do it. And I was successful at pushing those thoughts out of my head fairly quickly. I’m sooooo afraid, though of eventually failing. I’m getting stronger each day, though , and I hope the day will soon come when I never feel like I want or need a drink again.
Anyway, sorry for my rambling. It feels good though to get this out. Thanks for reading. You seem like a great group of people and I hope each of you are finding the same strength to get through your days of sobriety as well. I hope to find an additional source of strength from you all here.
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
Vodka was my friend for too long! Thank you for sharing. I hope you stick around, there is tons of support and love here at SR.com.
On the 11th of this month I was in ICU from withdrawals, I had 65 days. Today I have 15. We can all go through this with support from each other.
SR chat has meetings on Fridays at 9pm est and when it's not a holiday there is usually someone always hangin' there and a pretty good group in evenings/nights. It is a great place to talk to others and get input and ideas on how they are staying sober.
And, pop in and join our 'class', we would love to have you!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2010-a.html
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Red))) - welcome to SR!!! I'm a recovering crack addict, but had my share of abusing alcohol and opiates before the crack. I realized it wasn't so much WHAT I used, but that I was using something to keep me from dealing with life.
Way to go on the 14 days!! A health scare, though scary and fearful, may be what you needed to seek recovery. Please keep us posted on what the dr. says.
It wasn't the "putting down" the drink/drugs that got me...it was trying to deal with life, and not wanting to return to my old friend...numbness. SR has been a huge help in this, as well as some f2f people.
You're not alone. Several of us have been where you are, or are still there. Good for you, for reaching out - it's the first step.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Way to go on the 14 days!! A health scare, though scary and fearful, may be what you needed to seek recovery. Please keep us posted on what the dr. says.
It wasn't the "putting down" the drink/drugs that got me...it was trying to deal with life, and not wanting to return to my old friend...numbness. SR has been a huge help in this, as well as some f2f people.
You're not alone. Several of us have been where you are, or are still there. Good for you, for reaching out - it's the first step.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 2
Man, you all are so amazing. Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and encouragement. I'm so excited to have found this fantastic place and such supportive people. I am determined to beat this... and I offer whatever support I can to all of you as well. As saddened as I am that ANYONE is going through what I'm going through - it's nice to know that I have some company and some people that I can relate to... thanks again. And I will certainly check out the Friday night chat 
Gramma Donna
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Howell, MI
Posts: 3
Sure wish I had SR when I got clean and sober! What a great site. RedArt, I can ramble with you and even go off on tangents... One thing that helped the most in the early days when the cravings come: just don't drink now! Call someone or get on here and share your feelings. We've been there. We know what it's like and how hard it is sometimes to just deal with life on life's terms. That's why we used to get high, on alcohol or other drugs, LIFE! Sometimes it just sucks! Okay, good excuse to get high, right? NO! No excuse is enough for me today and yes, sometimes life still sucks, but escaping or wrecking our bodies isn't going to make it less sucky now is it? Let me say this, and then I will quit rambling..the only time we have is the present so when that urge hits, just tell us, and don't take that first one.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Red and way to go on your 14 days!!!
I too ramble (nice to see others use that word) and I can't express enough how amazing SR was when I first got sober and how it has become a permanent piece of my recovery. It is a good feeling to come to an anonymous site that is available 24/7 with others who understand addiction and are in recovery.
Until I came to SR the first time.....well I thought I was this unique special case. No one understood (nor did I share) what I was battling everyday with alcohol. I would usually get the occasional.....just stop Kim....whats wrong with you....cut back! No one mentioned the word alcoholic nor did anyone say there are support options out there.
Coming to SR......I was able to openly share and that in itself was huge for me. By reading threads....I learned about the different options available and what it meant to get into recovery.
Glad you are with us and you are not alone. Keep the journey going!!
I too ramble (nice to see others use that word) and I can't express enough how amazing SR was when I first got sober and how it has become a permanent piece of my recovery. It is a good feeling to come to an anonymous site that is available 24/7 with others who understand addiction and are in recovery.
Until I came to SR the first time.....well I thought I was this unique special case. No one understood (nor did I share) what I was battling everyday with alcohol. I would usually get the occasional.....just stop Kim....whats wrong with you....cut back! No one mentioned the word alcoholic nor did anyone say there are support options out there.
Coming to SR......I was able to openly share and that in itself was huge for me. By reading threads....I learned about the different options available and what it meant to get into recovery.
Glad you are with us and you are not alone. Keep the journey going!!
. Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by RedArcturus 
I’m in the middle of a bit of a health scare – and that’s frankly what got me to start reading more about the effects of alcohol. The health scare may be nothing – or it may be something. I won’t know until I go to the doctor – which I plan on doing this week. I’m scared. I hope I have not done permanent damage to my liver or kidneys, but I fear that I have… I have been scared into stopping drinking. It’s too bad that it had to come to that, but that’s what it took for me. I pray that I wasn’t too late.
Originally Posted by RedArcturus
I’m confident that I’ve permanently ended my drinking. It won’t, however, be easy.
Originally Posted by RedArcturus
I haven’t had many “moments” in the past two weeks, but this weekend there were a couple of times when I thought of heading to the store to pick up some vodka. I didn’t do it. And I was successful at pushing those thoughts out of my head fairly quickly. I’m sooooo afraid, though of eventually failing. I’m getting stronger each day, though , and I hope the day will soon come when I never feel like I want or need a drink again.
When I was ten years sober, in 1997, I was diagnosed with HEP C. My liver was in fibrosis stages with a high viral load. I have been through two Interferon treatments that did no good. Since then, I decided to just go on with my life and not let it control me and do what I do. I go to meetings, continue to work with others, and help set meetings up. This past year, my MRI showed my liver is now clear, though I still maintain a viral load. Go figger. Or maybe I have just let Him do the figgering. I can only attest that due to my long term abstinence from alcohol and drugs, is why I have been given such a long reprieve in life and to be of service to others, just as you can be if you can follow some simple directions. Don't drink, go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the big book, get involved in service, apply the steps in your life, spend time with others by sharing your own testimony it will serve useful for. Right now, there is a newcomer entering a live meeting who would love to hear what someone who has two weeks sober has to say.
Believe it or not, two weeks is a long time. Being sober for me isn't a 'long time' anymore. It's about 'today' now for me. But early on, I'd say for a year and half, I DO remember what it was like when it WAS a long time!
I hope one day, you will remain sober to understand what I mean by that. My best to you and the choices you continue to make. May He guide you on this path.
We are a very supportive group here.
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