Are blackouts are sign of progression
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
(To go into this further, reworded from a recovery text, hope is permitted.)
An early stage of alcoholism is growing tolerance and dependency, this can actually serve to keep denial in place, as it seems a person is able to 'handle their liquor' and be in control, as it takes more to get the same effect.
The middle stage is 'progressive loss of control'. This happens with the physical and brain chemical damage induced by long term alcohol abuse.
The final stage is marked by increasing chronic health problems, physical and psychological.
That is according to one source... I could definitely see this pattern when I decided it needed attention.
*Personally I felt that the main symptom of my alcoholism was obsession, which you describe - and yes, I could also sometimes in public drink in moderation and not too much, but it would typically lead to a bigger binge soon after.
An early stage of alcoholism is growing tolerance and dependency, this can actually serve to keep denial in place, as it seems a person is able to 'handle their liquor' and be in control, as it takes more to get the same effect.
The middle stage is 'progressive loss of control'. This happens with the physical and brain chemical damage induced by long term alcohol abuse.
The final stage is marked by increasing chronic health problems, physical and psychological.
That is according to one source... I could definitely see this pattern when I decided it needed attention.
*Personally I felt that the main symptom of my alcoholism was obsession, which you describe - and yes, I could also sometimes in public drink in moderation and not too much, but it would typically lead to a bigger binge soon after.
....Oz.. I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
Hiya frag. I can sooooo relate to your story. I am on day 15, again. I thought I would never drink again after accident that killed my bff of 25 yrs. Had 65 days after that 'blackout', being airlifted to trauma, and learning that he didn't make it. But, I again drank. It is a horrible cycle.
What I have done different this time is get involved in AA meetings. I don't know if that is your answer but it has helped me tremendously. That and combination of spending time here in chat with others like us.
SR chat has meetings on Fridays at 9pm est and when it's not a holiday there is usually someone always hangin' there and a pretty good group in evenings/nights. It is a great place to talk to others and get input and ideas on how they are staying sober.
My new saying is 'Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes'.
I am doing it and you too can beat this
What I have done different this time is get involved in AA meetings. I don't know if that is your answer but it has helped me tremendously. That and combination of spending time here in chat with others like us.
SR chat has meetings on Fridays at 9pm est and when it's not a holiday there is usually someone always hangin' there and a pretty good group in evenings/nights. It is a great place to talk to others and get input and ideas on how they are staying sober.
My new saying is 'Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes'.
I am doing it and you too can beat this
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
The turning point for me was when I 100% accepted myself as an alcoholic and that meant an acceptance that 'just for today' I don't take that first drink of alcohol. I knew that I had to embrace my alcoholism and my recovery and do what it took to stay sober and get healing 'one day at a time'. I used and continue to use AA, SR and much wisdom from elsewhere.
Alcohol appears to be costing you lots and rewarding you with nothing but pain. The obvious answer is to stop drinking alcohol, period. Analysing progression serves no real purpose in the actual solution apart from maybe giving you ammunition to continue drinking. Though I do appreciate you only stop drinking when you've had enough and can't take it anymore.
All The Best
Alcohol appears to be costing you lots and rewarding you with nothing but pain. The obvious answer is to stop drinking alcohol, period. Analysing progression serves no real purpose in the actual solution apart from maybe giving you ammunition to continue drinking. Though I do appreciate you only stop drinking when you've had enough and can't take it anymore.
All The Best
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Rose, "most" of the ppl in AA didn't drink 24/7, weren't jones'n for a drink all day, have/had jobs, owned homes, ....and sometimes had control of their drinking. I can't say EVERY time I drank it led to me going way out of control. Sometimes, everything was cool, i got my buzz on and life was good. Drinking too much is a symptom for sure, but it's not ALL there is to it.
The only "requirement" to be in a closed AA meeting, is to have a problem with alcohol and a desire to stop drinking. You don't have to be a park-bench wine-o or someone who can't go 20 minutes without a drink......and you certainly don't have to get "that bad" be be an alcoholic or to suffer from alcoholism. Think of it like any other illness or disease.....there are many levels and you don't have to wait until the latest stages to "have it." Closed meetings are designed to be one alcoholic talking to another about a common problem and a common solution. They were designed to be solution-based gatherings of ppl with alcohol problems where they can share how they're working and incorporating the 12 step program into their lives. Family members, bosses, friends, etc are not invited to attend.
The only "requirement" to be in a closed AA meeting, is to have a problem with alcohol and a desire to stop drinking. You don't have to be a park-bench wine-o or someone who can't go 20 minutes without a drink......and you certainly don't have to get "that bad" be be an alcoholic or to suffer from alcoholism. Think of it like any other illness or disease.....there are many levels and you don't have to wait until the latest stages to "have it." Closed meetings are designed to be one alcoholic talking to another about a common problem and a common solution. They were designed to be solution-based gatherings of ppl with alcohol problems where they can share how they're working and incorporating the 12 step program into their lives. Family members, bosses, friends, etc are not invited to attend.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Rose, I found drinking definitely to be progressive in my experience. Blackouts filled with many other things were common place in the latter years and I was in my mid 30s. I found some days I could drink till I was wiped and others I would not even know how I ended up in my bed. I was at home drinker mostly especially towards the end and anxiety/massive panic attacks were common when I drank towards the end and even when sober.
I had elevated enzymes, bloody vomit, you name it. Sick thing for me.....was I just kept doing it. Panic attacks I thought would improve with drinking but only worsened. Ugly thing and the last time I drank.....I was so drunk and ridden with a non stop panic attack that I took (don't really remember) most of the bottle of pain meds I had. I completely blacked out and almost died.
Here is the blessing. I quit and got into recovery and have not had a blackout. Have not a panic attack. Now I do have some anxiety, etc. but I work my face to face support and for the first time since my 20s.....my life is blessed and manageable again.
I kind of rambled here a bit but I just want you to know that all of have varied experiences but no matter what I ever hoped for or did......it was abstinence and hard work in recovery that allows me to live my life the way I do today.
Glad you are here!
I had elevated enzymes, bloody vomit, you name it. Sick thing for me.....was I just kept doing it. Panic attacks I thought would improve with drinking but only worsened. Ugly thing and the last time I drank.....I was so drunk and ridden with a non stop panic attack that I took (don't really remember) most of the bottle of pain meds I had. I completely blacked out and almost died.
Here is the blessing. I quit and got into recovery and have not had a blackout. Have not a panic attack. Now I do have some anxiety, etc. but I work my face to face support and for the first time since my 20s.....my life is blessed and manageable again.
I kind of rambled here a bit but I just want you to know that all of have varied experiences but no matter what I ever hoped for or did......it was abstinence and hard work in recovery that allows me to live my life the way I do today.
Glad you are here!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
And I don't know about the idea of "scare stories" as necessarily being the best way to motivate (as obviously didn't scare the people who lived through them) but having a blackout that lasted for more than a day was one of the truly scary things for me. Drinking on a Friday night and next thing you know looking at your phone that's telling you it's Sunday morning is really a freakish thing.
But even I've known a couple guys who have had complete blackouts for an entire week. One who ended up half across the country and in jail for apparently threatening to blow up the bus he had been on.
Attempted suicide during a blackout also wasn't enough to change my mind about alcohol completely. The only thing that helps me is the "daily maintenance of my (spiritual) condition."
But even I've known a couple guys who have had complete blackouts for an entire week. One who ended up half across the country and in jail for apparently threatening to blow up the bus he had been on.
Attempted suicide during a blackout also wasn't enough to change my mind about alcohol completely. The only thing that helps me is the "daily maintenance of my (spiritual) condition."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 77
I was blacking out almost every night towards the end of my drinking career (i fired myself and got sober!)
It was horrible waking up the next morning...checking for bruises, trying to find my clothes, sneaking downstairs to see if I had dropped a bottle, fights with husband I couldn't remember, sex with husband I couldn't remember, checking my phone for drunken texts. The list is endless.
One of my greatest pleasures of being sober is waking up in the morning with no panic/anxiety about what had happened during a blackout the night before.
It was horrible waking up the next morning...checking for bruises, trying to find my clothes, sneaking downstairs to see if I had dropped a bottle, fights with husband I couldn't remember, sex with husband I couldn't remember, checking my phone for drunken texts. The list is endless.
One of my greatest pleasures of being sober is waking up in the morning with no panic/anxiety about what had happened during a blackout the night before.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Hi J
Blackouts really are dangerous - we never know what we'll say or do or where we'll end up...
it's another in the long list of negatives you have regarding your drinking - does it really matter how you compare to other drinkers?
I used to compare myself to others all the time - I wasn't as bad as that guy...so I kept drinking.
I completely missed the point that I was literally destroying myself and my life, piece by piece day by day...
forget about comparisons - I had more than enough reasons to act on my drinking and to get sober, but I ignored it all....don't wait to act like I did, J.
D
Blackouts really are dangerous - we never know what we'll say or do or where we'll end up...
it's another in the long list of negatives you have regarding your drinking - does it really matter how you compare to other drinkers?
I used to compare myself to others all the time - I wasn't as bad as that guy...so I kept drinking.
I completely missed the point that I was literally destroying myself and my life, piece by piece day by day...
forget about comparisons - I had more than enough reasons to act on my drinking and to get sober, but I ignored it all....don't wait to act like I did, J.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Hi there,
I started blacking out pretty regularly my last year drinking, even when I hadn't drank much. A bottle would do it, usually, especially if I hadn't eaten dinner, or I drank quickly. At about 10 days sober, I finally realized that blackouts mean I am killing my brain. That was it for me. I do not want to kill my brain. I decided that I would do whatever it took to get and stay sober. I went to rehab for 10 days, belong to an online women's sobriety group, and avoid situations that will trigger me. I also meditate, and have picked up arts, so that my brain has something to reduce anxiety and occupy me, rather than drinking.
I am at 137 days, and while I have been pretty stressed and now down about the holidays, drinking is NOT an option. I can do other things, I can cry, I can meditate, I can paint, I can go online to here or the other group, I can write about my feelings, I can take a bath, I can hide in my room (I am doing that now!) I can yell into my pillow, but I can NOT drink. Because my damaged blackout brain cannot take it anymore, and I want to get my brain, and my soul and my body healthy.
Best,
Nancy
I started blacking out pretty regularly my last year drinking, even when I hadn't drank much. A bottle would do it, usually, especially if I hadn't eaten dinner, or I drank quickly. At about 10 days sober, I finally realized that blackouts mean I am killing my brain. That was it for me. I do not want to kill my brain. I decided that I would do whatever it took to get and stay sober. I went to rehab for 10 days, belong to an online women's sobriety group, and avoid situations that will trigger me. I also meditate, and have picked up arts, so that my brain has something to reduce anxiety and occupy me, rather than drinking.
I am at 137 days, and while I have been pretty stressed and now down about the holidays, drinking is NOT an option. I can do other things, I can cry, I can meditate, I can paint, I can go online to here or the other group, I can write about my feelings, I can take a bath, I can hide in my room (I am doing that now!) I can yell into my pillow, but I can NOT drink. Because my damaged blackout brain cannot take it anymore, and I want to get my brain, and my soul and my body healthy.
Best,
Nancy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
