CrystalLove

Hi, I am new on here, and I want to say everyone has been so nice. However, I have been feeling totally depressed and I am usually happy around the holidays. I am on day 19 now, and I am feeling horrible mentally. I am so ashamed of all that I've done, I feel like such a bad person and I don't know if I can ever be good again, but I'm going to hang in there Can you tell me things that help with depression and recovery?

Ghostly

Depression and recovery are very related, however need to be treated differently, but a lot of times they both need to be dealt with together for one to get better. Make sense?

For depression please see a mental health professional They can help you. Maybe you need counseling, or meds may be recommended. Whatever, please deal with that. Would be difficult to stay sober if you have depression...although could be done.

For Recovery get a support system. AA, or another f2f group, counseling, SR, all these, or a combination. You need a determination not to drink / use.

Congrats on the 19 days! You can do this. It is up to you.

CrystalLove

Thanks ghostly, no meds but I may need to see a professional, although I really hate people right now too, lol but I hope that passes because I normally like people.

Ghostly

Well...either way, just think you gotta deal with the depression. If not, it will make recovery difficult. No one will make you go on meds.

What was your DOC? Was it meds? Is that why you want to stay away from them? Makes sense.

Well you're 19 days now...that's somethin to be proud of! Keep goin with that. Try to find that support system.

I hate people a lot of times too. Good luck.

CrystalLove

Well I like alcohol the best but I have also abused other drugs including painkillers and xanax, etc. So I need to stay totally clean. It's nice to see other people have gone through the same thing and made it out ok thank you again

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

If you're 'depressed' because you're 'so ashamed of all that I've done' there are programs that address these issues, some recommend an honest evaluation of your actions and making amends where appropriate and possible.

You may want to look into it.

CrystalLove

Thank you Sailor, I need to check out these programs, maybe I will ask about them at my meetings

artsoul

Welcome Crystal - you're still early in recovery and it's not always a smooth ride. I think the holidays are really hard (so much expectation, and our normal routine is out of whack). I think just staying sober is enough to focus on, one day (one hour) at a time.

Take as much time for you as you can and do your best to stay peaceful. If you need to get away from people, go to a meeting or just camp out here on the forum, it will be worth it. You won't have this irritability forever!:ghug3

least

If you would be prescribed meds like antidepressants, please don't think that would be another addiction. I've been on antDs for years and they really help - especially since I'm sober so the meds work as they should.

Early recovery can be a rough road for a while, with a lot of emotional ups and downs. It should pass with time and the longer you're sober, the better you should start feeling. If not, please see a doctor or shrink. I see an addiction counselor once a week and she's been a great help to me, and not just in staying sober but in my life in general. Maybe counseling would help you deal with your emotions. Give it a try.

Welcome to the best recovery site everywhere!

CarolD

Things I do when blue....

Pray ...take a walk...dance around the room...wear bright colors
scent and bling...eat ice cream....double up on AA contacts
a bubble bath...manicure....visit or call a friend...listen to my
favorite music...watch silly movies....help someone else

Congratulations on your sober time....

Antiderivative

Today is a gift. It is called the present for a reason. When we live in the past, we miss out on this precious gift.

I am not saying that you should ignore your past issues. There may well be some issues that you need to address. However, beating yourself up over you past actions is not living in the solution. Address your issues, accept them, and move on. If you need help doing this, then get some help; either professionally or a support group.

As for depression, you are newly recovered. I am no doctor, so take this with a grain of salt. You may be dual diagnosed with addiction and depression, but your substance abuse could easily be the cause of your current depression and mental state. Its not uncommon for newly sober people to experience what you are going through. Some get pink clouds right away while others slip into depression.

If you do seek professional help, just be honest with them about your substance abuse. Hopefully, you have a good professional who properly diagnosis you.

Anyways, you are sober today. You should take some joy in this miracle. Gratz on day 19.

Anna

CrystalLove,

Addiction is not a character defect, it's an illness.

We do understand!

CrystalLove

Thank you everyone for your nice words. I have still been feeling depressed but I did have a fleeting moment of happiness this morning and I plan on calling around for some doctors tomorrow. And thank you for welcoming to your support center.
Love Crystal

Krang

Congratulations on day 19! I wish the best of luck for you and I hope you find something to help with the depression. Just remember that we're all human and we all make mistakes. You don't have to feel ashamed because you're not alone.

LaVallette

Welcome Crystal, couldn't help noticing the bit that I've cut from your post. We're NOT bad people trying to be good, we're sick people trying to get well. Guilt, shame and remorse are things I think every alcoholic/addict feels. And that's OK, because that means we've still got a little core of decency in us that hates the things we do under the influence. That core is the REAL us, that's what we need to nurture and concentrate on.

You are not alone!