taking it one hour at time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 73
taking it one hour at time
I've done an ok job of not obsessing about it, not allowing it to consume my every awakened moment, but its here; I go in front of the judge tomorrow morning. Is he or she going to throw me in jail for months? Will I serve in the county I was picked up at, or in my own local jail? How many more thousands am I going to contribute to this horrific choice I made? How long does parole last? Will I be permitted to take a pre-planned trip I had scheduled in March, flying to the other side of the country? Too many questions, though I am happy to be getting some answers prior to leaving this weekend to spend New Years with extended family.
I'm just not dealing well with being so depressed and anxious over Christmas; never have I entered this holiday so despondent. I hate it., I just want to wake up and it be next summer!!! This week has been about endurance, getting by and not a day at a time; this has been an hourly event. I'm leaning hard on God and involved in ftf recovery. But, it really gets hard sometimes huh..........
I'm just not dealing well with being so depressed and anxious over Christmas; never have I entered this holiday so despondent. I hate it., I just want to wake up and it be next summer!!! This week has been about endurance, getting by and not a day at a time; this has been an hourly event. I'm leaning hard on God and involved in ftf recovery. But, it really gets hard sometimes huh..........
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hang in there, demut - a minute at a time if you have to..... You're staying sober and that's the main thing. Give yourself a lot of credit for that. And if all else fails, find some blessings to count (there were days when the only positives for me were that I had enough to eat, a roof over my head and people who love me).
Let us know how it goes, OK?
Let us know how it goes, OK?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi Demut,
It's not surprising that you are feeling lots of anxiety with the court date tomorrow. Just know that this is all happening for a reason and you can get through it.
Let us know wht happens tomorrow.
It's not surprising that you are feeling lots of anxiety with the court date tomorrow. Just know that this is all happening for a reason and you can get through it.
Let us know wht happens tomorrow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 73
I really super huge appreciate interest in this thread; I was all over the place yesterdy. I'm almost embarassed to reply at the end of this day - my attorney worked magic and the agreement he worked out was better than any of the four million scenarios I had entertained in my mind the previous 24 or so hours.
While I was only in jail for roughly five hours before bonding out, I was given credit for two days served in jail. The sentece is for 30, but I can do that on home monitor with the freedom to attend school, treatment, meetings, and work (um, there's no work - I resigned the day after the incident). Parole is for three years and the fine ended up being less than the one I got the first time eight years ago. The biggie came when I was granted permission to fly to Colorado Monday for a week (which was planned since summer) to spend New Years with extended family and my children. The judge assured me this is not customary. I really don't kjnow what to say, except that I will not let this judge down, my husband, or my children. Most importantly, I'm asserting myself in this program more intensely as "I" desperately want long-term sobriety. I have been given an extraordinary break, and I recognize that, I respect that and I intend to do what I happen to know needs to be done to maintain sobriety. Sober for this 24 and I have honest to gosh not had an urge to drink for six weeks (the time of the incident) The idea of it is repulsive. Will that image and feelings remain? Who knows, but for this day, those are my sentiments.
In the interim , these past six weeks, I have relied on this website as a portion of my recovery plan - this site, relapse treatment, meetings and contact with all of my old AA friends (with whom I tragically walked away from ). So, I want to thank you for being here and for those of you who actually took time out of your day to respond to one of my posts with genuine thought in introspection. Much appreciated!
I am not worried about this trip to CO - I have already familiarized myself with the Alano club there a few years back. Additionally, my sister is about to complete her degree as a Chemical Dependent Counselor; we'll be sure to hit some meetings. So that in combination with many family who support me, I'll prayerfully have an enjoyable visit. The day I fly back, I'm reporting back to the courthouse to pick up the ankle bracelet.
So, guys, that's how it all ended. We had to come back after lunch in order to accomplish everything in one day, but we did it!!! Happy Day
I am blessed
While I was only in jail for roughly five hours before bonding out, I was given credit for two days served in jail. The sentece is for 30, but I can do that on home monitor with the freedom to attend school, treatment, meetings, and work (um, there's no work - I resigned the day after the incident). Parole is for three years and the fine ended up being less than the one I got the first time eight years ago. The biggie came when I was granted permission to fly to Colorado Monday for a week (which was planned since summer) to spend New Years with extended family and my children. The judge assured me this is not customary. I really don't kjnow what to say, except that I will not let this judge down, my husband, or my children. Most importantly, I'm asserting myself in this program more intensely as "I" desperately want long-term sobriety. I have been given an extraordinary break, and I recognize that, I respect that and I intend to do what I happen to know needs to be done to maintain sobriety. Sober for this 24 and I have honest to gosh not had an urge to drink for six weeks (the time of the incident) The idea of it is repulsive. Will that image and feelings remain? Who knows, but for this day, those are my sentiments.
In the interim , these past six weeks, I have relied on this website as a portion of my recovery plan - this site, relapse treatment, meetings and contact with all of my old AA friends (with whom I tragically walked away from ). So, I want to thank you for being here and for those of you who actually took time out of your day to respond to one of my posts with genuine thought in introspection. Much appreciated!
I am not worried about this trip to CO - I have already familiarized myself with the Alano club there a few years back. Additionally, my sister is about to complete her degree as a Chemical Dependent Counselor; we'll be sure to hit some meetings. So that in combination with many family who support me, I'll prayerfully have an enjoyable visit. The day I fly back, I'm reporting back to the courthouse to pick up the ankle bracelet.
So, guys, that's how it all ended. We had to come back after lunch in order to accomplish everything in one day, but we did it!!! Happy Day
I am blessed
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