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Old 12-20-2010, 04:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Blubbering at My Third Meeting


I'm new to the forums (hello), new to recovery, and today I attended my third AA meeting. I was called on by the chair to share with the group. I think there was only about 30 people in the room but it seemed like 300 when I started talking. I blubbered something but got super nervous and wrapped it up quick. I notice a lot of people have no trouble sharing. Have they just been there a long time? It's all so new to me. But I'm dedicated to sobriety.
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Old 12-20-2010, 04:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us. I'm not an AA person, but I know that early sobriety was very emotional for me and I cried a lot. I think it helps!
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Old 12-20-2010, 05:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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My AA homegroup keeps tissues on each table.
I bet most of us have cried at times in meetings...

Not everyone is comfortable sharing...certainly not in new
recovery. It will get easier with time...you are correct.

Thanks for joining our recovery community ....and for being
pro active in finding a healthy productive sober future.
Welcome...
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Old 12-20-2010, 05:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good thing you are going to meetings. Next on your list of to do things should be to get a sponsor. Your sponsor can help you become comfortable and be a part of the group. There will be times when we need to carry the message of hope to others. First, we get to soak up what ever it is AA has to offer, experience that gift, and when the time is right, we play it forward by giving back what was given us. We can not give what we obviously don't have. Here a sponsor can be invaluable. Someone to help us learn what to share and when. When to simply thank all for being here, and that right now, I am learning.

The process of recovery isn't taught in school. We have to wing it if we find ourselves in need of what they [AA] might have. A good sponsor takes the risk and confusion out of a lot of that.

There is no reason to do this alone. My most sincere and helpful suggestion is for you to practice what you will say at your next meeting.

"Hi. I'm new. And I need a sponsor".

You watch things fall in place after that.
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Old 12-20-2010, 11:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Madrone, I can totally feel with you... My AA meetings are always much smaller and people aren't called on to share. But, as there aren't so many people to fill the hour it seems that everybody should share at some stage. And I never really know what to share (only 7 weeks sober now). Usually I don't have difficulties expressing myself and sounding reasonably intelligent - but when I hear others speak and then myself I feel as if I am a bit of dim bulb.

Thanks, lush, for your words - I too need to get a sponsor to guide me through this.

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Old 12-21-2010, 12:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I have nearly 3 months clean (9 months total in the program, so I've been around for a while) and still struggle to spread the message at meetings. It is hard not to get into your own mess, especially when you're new. That is what a sponsor is for.

Get a sponsor! It depends on the sponsor you get, what they will do for you. Some believe they are there only to guide you through working the steps, others will be the one you go to when you need to get things off your chest. My sponsor is one of those, and I love it, I always have a sounding board to make sure my thoughts are relatively sane, and to check my motives. After this, I am able to concentrate on carrying the message (and yes, newcomers can do this too-- quite powerfully, in fact. Just tell them how you stayed clean TODAY!)

Working the steps is next in line-- your sponsor can help you through it. With each step completed, I feel a weight off my chest, like another layer of lies and addiction has been peeled off, and I am that much closer to the core of my authentic self.

Good luck!
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Old 12-21-2010, 12:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to the family. I don't think it's always necessary to share in meetings. Sometimes it's good to just listen.
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Old 12-21-2010, 12:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I try to attend an AA meeting every other day and if I have time, I sometimes do two in one day. I don't often share. Nobody can make you share if you don't want to and to be honest I am a bit surprised the chair called on you to do so. The whole thing should be a volountary process, in my opinion.
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Old 12-21-2010, 04:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi MA. Welcome to SR!

I've been to meetings where they do things different. Some call on people to share and at others people volunteer. Where I live, we go around the room and usually everyone gets a chance to share. Many people say they would like to just listen and pass.

Glad you are here. Glad you made it to AA also.
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Old 12-21-2010, 05:53 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I think it must be very rare for a chairperson to call on someone specifically to share...the only time I've seen that done the chair called on people who had been in the program for quite a while, and I've only seen that done once in hundreds of meetings.

But on the other hand, there's nobody judging how or what you share. You're at the meeting for your own benefit, and it it helped you to get something off your chest - even if it was brief - that's a good thing. You're not being judged on your performance when you share in a meeting. It's all good. Congrats on your clean time and on speaking up when called on. You're doing great!
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Old 12-21-2010, 06:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Our chairpeople here will call on you, but not usually on a newcomer.

All you have to say is "I'm _____, I'm an (addict/alcoholic)" and pass. That's our 'rule' anyway-- just say who you are and what you are, anything after that is voluntary.
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