On edge, but feeling a tiny bit hopeful - 2 Days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 1
On edge, but feeling a tiny bit hopeful - 2 Days
I am a professional female in my late 30s who has abused alcohol for roughly 6 years now. My drug of choice is red wine. I can drink as much as 2-3 bottles a day during a drinking binge. I do not drink daily, but haven't gone without a drink for longer than 5 days in a long, long time. I have a small degree of control over my drinking, as in I am able to abstain in situations where it is just unacceptable to overindulge (i.e. - a baby shower where light cocktails are being served).
That said, I feel powerless over red wine, and want to lead a happy and productive life. I want "normal" problems, like where I want to send my future child to school, and NOT worrying about where around town I can discreetly discard my empty bottles.
I do not have health insurance at the moment, like many people, so I feel that getting blood tests to determine how much physical damage I have done to myself is unlikely. Right now, I am just focused on not drinking.
My last drink was 2 days ago, and I know I will make it through the rest of today. I am scared and anxious about what I have done to my body, and afraid I will eventually die with chronic alcoholism as a contributing factor. Stopping drinking would resolve a lot of my problems, and I want peace and sobriety.
That said, I feel powerless over red wine, and want to lead a happy and productive life. I want "normal" problems, like where I want to send my future child to school, and NOT worrying about where around town I can discreetly discard my empty bottles.
I do not have health insurance at the moment, like many people, so I feel that getting blood tests to determine how much physical damage I have done to myself is unlikely. Right now, I am just focused on not drinking.
My last drink was 2 days ago, and I know I will make it through the rest of today. I am scared and anxious about what I have done to my body, and afraid I will eventually die with chronic alcoholism as a contributing factor. Stopping drinking would resolve a lot of my problems, and I want peace and sobriety.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Yeah...first thing worry bout stopping. Sounds like you are ready to do that. Welcome to SR...you will find a lot of support here. You can do this, it is up to you.
Stop, then you can think about tests to see where you're at. The body does have an amazing ability to repair itself. Gotta think you may be able to find some places that will do cheap, if not free, testing.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Stop, then you can think about tests to see where you're at. The body does have an amazing ability to repair itself. Gotta think you may be able to find some places that will do cheap, if not free, testing.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: The "beltway"
Posts: 785
That makes two of us, I've felt on edge but a tiny bit hopeful all day. Posting here on SR is something that is helping, a lot. And I hear you on the red wine, somehow I can't just have a glass anymore. A bottle purchased is a bottle gone.
I'm a newbie here, let's try together ok?
I'm a newbie here, let's try together ok?
You're smart to stop drinking at a young age, so will not be making any bad memories for your later years.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Bambi,
Good for you for recognizing you have a problem before it gets any worse. And, I definitely remember wanting to have 'normal' problems, rather than spending the morning trying to piece together what I did last evening.
We do understand!
Good for you for recognizing you have a problem before it gets any worse. And, I definitely remember wanting to have 'normal' problems, rather than spending the morning trying to piece together what I did last evening.
We do understand!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Italy
Posts: 287
Hi EmpressBambi
Welcome to SR. You have done a great thing by coming to this forum, you will get so much support from people here who understand what you are going through.
I am male but I too used to drink 2-3 bottles of (white) wine a day and then top it off with some vodka just for good measure!! Don't get too hung up about health tests at this stage - you are still young and you haven't been an alcoholic for that long compared with a lot of other people on the forums here. The most important thing is that you don't continue like this and then decide you ought to do something about quitting in another decade. The body can do an amazing job of repair and recovery providing you can give it a chance.
When I came here I spent quite a lot of time reading about all the different possibilities and what different methods other people are finding works for them - there is no magic bullet that suits everyone. The support here is great and it is amazing that, if you just stick with it in the very early stages, then all of a sudden you have done a few weeks. My whole attitude to life has already lifted and I hardly get any cravings even though it has only been a few weeks. And I no longer visit 5 different stores to buy alcohol or try to find discreet ways to dispose of empties - what a relief!!!
Keep coming to SR and posting here. You won't regret it.
Welcome to SR. You have done a great thing by coming to this forum, you will get so much support from people here who understand what you are going through.
I am male but I too used to drink 2-3 bottles of (white) wine a day and then top it off with some vodka just for good measure!! Don't get too hung up about health tests at this stage - you are still young and you haven't been an alcoholic for that long compared with a lot of other people on the forums here. The most important thing is that you don't continue like this and then decide you ought to do something about quitting in another decade. The body can do an amazing job of repair and recovery providing you can give it a chance.
When I came here I spent quite a lot of time reading about all the different possibilities and what different methods other people are finding works for them - there is no magic bullet that suits everyone. The support here is great and it is amazing that, if you just stick with it in the very early stages, then all of a sudden you have done a few weeks. My whole attitude to life has already lifted and I hardly get any cravings even though it has only been a few weeks. And I no longer visit 5 different stores to buy alcohol or try to find discreet ways to dispose of empties - what a relief!!!
Keep coming to SR and posting here. You won't regret it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi EmpressBambi
Welcome to SR
I encourage you to see a Dr - no matter what it costs, I think it's worth it - at the very least it would help you stop feeling scared and anxious - but that of course is up to you
You'll find a lot of support here - it really helps in the tough times
Good to have you with us!
D
Welcome to SR
I encourage you to see a Dr - no matter what it costs, I think it's worth it - at the very least it would help you stop feeling scared and anxious - but that of course is up to you
You'll find a lot of support here - it really helps in the tough times
Good to have you with us!
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Empress - Congrats on two days sober and on choosing to stop drinking. I was scared and not very hopeful when I came here but things have slowly gotten so much better (going on 8 months now). I thought about drinking (or not drinking) non-stop.
Just wanted to say welcome and keep hanging in there minute-to-minute if you have to. It gets better - it really does!
Just wanted to say welcome and keep hanging in there minute-to-minute if you have to. It gets better - it really does!
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