Isolation, Loneliness & Trust!
 

I started drinking a little over 4 years ago. I was amazed at how quickly this disease claimed my life. I have been fighting for the last 3 with my longest stretch of sobriety being 7 months. Right now I am on day 40. This time I feel so much more peace with my decision to stay sober and the fight doesn't seem to be as hard. Maybe accepting the truth and not fighting with myself about it has helped.

I think my main problem is that I have isolated myself for so long now because of my drinking and my trust issues that I'm finding it hard to interact with other people. I started chatting online with a gentleman about a month ago and truly enjoy talking with him. He hasn't asked to meet face to face yet. Up until this point I didn't realize how lonely I've become. I haven't dated in over 2 years. My last relationship was a train wreck from the beginning. I'm not really sure where to let this chatting evolve to.

Any suggestions with the isolation/loneliness issue? Thanks.

I think we all get lonely and isolated, we do not want to let people know we are drinking so we hide.

If you have any friends start hanging out with them from time to time, it will help. If you do not have any friends then its time to go make some

Have you thought about maybe getting involved in some activities outside the house, like volunteering or book clubs, maybe seeking out others with similiar hobbies, just so you can get back to interacting with people again? We all know the good times come and go, but the bad times do as well.

Maybe work on yourself a bit more before taking a chance on meeting people you don't know off the internet.

AA is a great place/program to get recovered and deal with issues, and it is usually safe as long as you follow some common-sense rules... like socialize only with women in AA at first.

Counseling is another option.

Mark

Yah Mark nailed it. I was thinkin the same thing. It seems like alot to take on at one time. Focus on getting yourself right first otherwise I can see it going very badly fast if things don't work out with a new man. It also sounds like you might be replacing your co-dependent relationship with alcohol with a new one with a man. I think you might even be aware of the red flags here just by the fact that you brought it up on here.

A good way to get out of the house and out of yourself is to volunteer somewhere.:) A womens' shelter, an animal shelter, a food bank, a soup kitchen... the list is endless.:)

Yes, absolutely, volunteer and give something back.

I think it would be a good idea to go slow with the cyber romance.

Way to go on getting 40 days! I isolated while drinking, too. I think the best way to get back into life/relationships is to take baby steps. AA suggests not getting into a romantic involvement until we have a year sober and I think that's a really good suggestion. Good or bad, those kind of relationships take tons of energy and attention and involve a lot of emotion. It can take the focus off our recovery.

Friends are good, though. And I liked all the suggestions of the other posters about getting involved in some activities where you meet new people.

Please do check out your local AA meetings....:yup:
there you can find lasting sobriety and a host
of friends willing to support your efforts.

I gave up dangerous behaviors once I got sober.
No...I would not be meeting men I chatted with on line.
Nor would I give out personal info to a stranger.

People can get in a world of bad situations from
lonely desperation.
I know I sure did as a drinker. I could have been killed.


Look at the men you meet at your job...find a hobby that
attracts men....join a health club. Plenty of time and men ....
For now....focus on yourself and your sobriety.


Welcome to SR....:wave: