northland

I've been extremely aware of how I've been feeling over the past couple days, and very mindful of how good I am feeling. Usually I relapse when I am feeling really good, and am looking to enhance an already good overall feeling.

In the past, I could never see beyond the first few drinks. I'd think about the first few drinks, and imagine how good they would make me feel. And I can't deny it, a few drinks in and I feel REALLY REALLY good. This is why and how I would relapse. I couldn't get past obsessing over how good the initial effects of booze were. But knowing what I know now, I know there's a catch. I am an alcoholic, and I drink to the point of blackout, every time.

So for the past few days, I haven't even been getting cravings. I think this is why.

Upon waking up, I've been taking a moment to notice how good I am feeling. Immediately following that, I "feel" what it would be like to be extremely drunk and or hungover, at that very instant. Talk about a turn off! As the day goes on, I simply notice at random times how good I am feeling, then once again, imagine how I'd feel if I was instantly so intoxicated I couldn't stand up, because that's how drunk I get every time I drink.

The reason why I think this is effective, is because a lot of the time we are focusing is on how good alcohol makes us feel, and let's not kid ourselves, it makes us feel really damn good, initially... When we are doing this, we are not appreciating how good of a feeling it is to be sober, because we desire alcohol. However, you can flip the tables in your favor. If you start focusing on how bad it makes you feel , by doing visualization, you begin to really appreciate how you are feeling at that moment. If you are a true alcoholic, skip how good alcohol makes you feel, and fast forward to how bad it will make you feel. Because it will, EVERY, SINGLE TIME.




Your worst day sober is far better than your best day drunk.

northland

After reading it back to myself, it seems like such a simple thing. And it is, on paper. But this is a huge turning point for me. To actually put these into action, means a lot. Man I am pumped up right now.

Si23

Have been using the same trick myself, and yeah, it's pretty effective for me too!

SSIL75

Thank you!

NEOMARXIST

Nice one!! Use these positive moments and feelings and 'bank' them, so that when you're experiencing not so good times in the future then you can recall these great moments of clarity that you experienced!! I love these moments in my recovery where things have seemed so clear and I felt like I was getting a deeper understanding of my situation and the reality of it.

Peace

Alien

Thanks for that post northland

coffeenut

It is simple and it is huge. Attitude really is Everything.

Glad you are here!

northland

Everything is just making sense. Thanks for the responses.

And ya coffee, attitude is everything. Just from looking at things from a different perspective, you can put a whole new twist on the way you see sobriety. In the past, I'd obsess over wanting to drink, and ultimately I'd relapse. Right now, the obsession is gone, and my thoughts about alcohol have changed tenfold.

northland

God, I read this and it blows my mind that I just relapsed again. How can I go from truly believing the things I wrote in this thread (and I remember writing this, and deep down inside me believing it), to going on a weekend bender and being back at square one?

This blows my mind, that I can be so back and forth

drent

I agree 100%. Getting hi/drunk is awesome. I focus on the fact that for me, getting drunk only lasts for around 2-3hours before I would pass out. All this work is not worth throwing away for the 2-3hours. If you ask anyone if 30minutes of awesome sex is worth getting a STD the answer is easy. Alcohol is the same story, short term joy with long term misery.

SSIL75

I used to go to the gym a lot during sober periods, feel great, be a good mom etc and I would feel SO CERTAIN that I had figured it out. I knew with 100% clarity that I was doing the right thing by not drinking. But in the back of my mind 'moderation' was lurking. So I'd say "I will never again drink more than two. I know now that 2 is the absolute max". And then a week later I'd be roaming in there, hungover.

That's why I had to completely accept 'never' and to fully trust that any suggestion otherwise was my addictive voice.