Know it all?
 

I recently talked to someone who went to an AA meeting and when they got to him he briefly mentioned his alcoholism and other drug use. One of the fellows there told him this is for alcohol only and not those other things. He's new to sobriety and this shocked him. I wish I would have been there to tell the guy to go back over Bill's story, Bob's story, and countless pages in the Big Book that talk of other drug use along with alcohol. What an A**hole. Just my opinion. Doesn't this go against everything the big book teaches us. I'm still new and only 13 days sober, but come on, this is absolutely ridiculous. Just my humble opinion. Thanks for letting me speak.

Not an AA person, but my understanding is that there's such a thing as "closed" meetings that are only for alcoholics. Was this maybe a "closed" meeting? Either way, probably not the most tactful way to handle it. I hope your friend wasn't too discouraged. Maybe you guys can shop around for more open meetings. Or maybe that one guy who talked wasn't really representative of the group.

And I agree, addicts are addicts whether it's alcohol or illegal (or legally prescribed) drugs. Those of us with alcohol problems are fooling ourselves if we think we're any better. I also know of several illegal drug addicts who go to AA either because they have more meetings or because they just feel a stronger sense of fitting in with the AA community instead of the NA community. I guess it's a matter of finding the right meetings.

I feel another headache coming on...

I'm not an AAer but it's my understanding there's a wide variety and range of meetings, just as there's a wide range and variety of members, opinions and interpretations.

I encourage everyone to find a group that's your best fit.

D

It was actually an open meeting. Not a moderator, just an older guy who I guess wanted to voice his opinion. I guess it is what it is. The reason he's going to AA is because many and most NA meetings in the area we live in just plain suck. Hardly anyone's been sober for any amount of time, there is no real moderation, people hitting on each other, people trying to find and buy drugs, etc. I've heard this from several users who just prefer AA because of the embracing feeling it has as well as the wealth of knowledge and history. Thanks.

Hi Goshin -

Generally, we try to stick to alcoholism, although many many people have multiple addictions so it always comes up. As Dee mentioned, all groups are different.

When someone talks ONLY about drug use, then some people have issues, but my home group focuses on using the 12 steps to help people recover from addiction in general - using alcoholism and the Big Book as our main focus.

Remember that we're all sick and so we won't always like everyone. In these cases, I suggest that people keep trying different meetings until they find one they like. Just don't get a resentment over something that one person said. Just try a different meeting.

Even if it was a closed meeting, and he mentioned that he was an alcoholic and a drug addict, big deal. The fact is, he's an alcoholic, and he therefore can attend a closed meeting.

A lot of people in recovery are the holier than thou type, who actually use their sobriety as an excuse to make themselves feel better than others.

When I went to meetings, though I'm an addict, I went to AA..including closed meetings. I never talked about my drug use, I just used the words "not picking up" and that seemed to work.

There were a few people who didn't like addicts being in the meetings, but it was very few. I talked to people AFTER the meeting and explained what my REAL problem was and several took me under their wing and when someone new would come in with addiction problems, they sent them to me. I'd say half my home group had, at least, problems with drug addiction, if not that and alcoholism.

I learned, early, to look for the similarities, and there were a lot. A craving is a craving...I just never mentioned MY craving was for opiates (this was before I discovered crack....sigh).

Yes, there are other meetings and many are much more open to addicts, because more and more people are cross addicted to dope and alcohol. I didn't really every feel like I fit in with NA.

I recommend your friend talk to someone after the meeting, explain that though he's an addict, he is more comfortable in AA and is serious about his recovery. They can probably tell him how to word things, not talk about dope (all the stuff I said above), and he will be fine. If not, seek another meeting.

I did find, too, that in a number of meetings (I went to several) there were a few people I just didn't click with. Heck, we're all recovering A's and some still have issues. I found people that had what I wanted..recovery, open minds, and serenity. Those are the ones I befriended, and always listened to.

One other thing...I always introduced myself as an alcoholic and addict, because there WERE times in my life that got out of control with the alcohol and couldn't stop at just 1, so I felt that qualified me. It had been years, but hey...it was the truth and it worked.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Thanks for all the replies. As far as if it had been a closed meeting, from what I've learned those are only for people seeking sobriety, either alcohol or drugs and not others such as family members, friends, etc. Anyway, I'll give him the info and thanks a lot.

Closed meetings are sometimes a little more complicated than that. Some are for professionals who want to be sure no one there is going to say they saw them there. Others are for "alcohol issues" only. Still others are designed to filter out members with kids or may even be male/female/gay/lesbian specific.

It all depends on what the group conscious decides and may even change over time. It would be best to look for "open meetings" at first to ensure everyone is welcome. If anyone complains about drug sharing at an open meeting, just ask em what "open" means?

It's a shame that the guy said this but i can understand it...

I did a 4 week stint in rehab in Spain and on the third night it was announced new people were arriving, one was a heroin addict! My reaction was of amazement and i made a tongue in cheek comment about hiding personal belongings...i thought as an alcoholic i was nothing like addicts...it was quite a learning curve cos the new guy and me got on like a house on fire and sat up till early hours talking every night...everything was the same, the feelings, the emotions, the way our drug of choice affected us etc...the only difference was the people, places and things...hell of an eye opener!

Then when i got to AA and got sober i met this great guy who went to NA and AA, and smoking coke was his thing...we spent a lot of time together discussing the steps, which one we were working with sponsor and other stuff...once again we were the same...then when i finished the steps with my sponsor in the first few months of AA things started to become really clear about all this...

I was really lucky with my experiences...

If i heard what you were told i would understand it as that a fresh alcoholic into AA needs identification with another alcoholic...and this would include the similarities in the people, places and things...this does not mean that addcits are exclusive to NA and vive versa for AA but that when sharing in AA stick to the drinking and when in NA stick to sharing about the using because although there will be a lot of cross addicts now there will still be pure alcoholics and addicts who won't connect with the other...

But like i said i do get where old timers are coming from with this and, although your reaction is very familiar to me, some of them are not being assholes just trying to protect AA/NA/GA and to ensure that we are of maximum service to the newcomer and don't lose too many that get to a meeting...hope that makes some sense....

I think it's always best if we focus on our own recovery and allow others to focus on their recovery.

So professionals are a special class who can't be seen by other AA members? It's all anonymous anyway, so why would that matter? Could you define professional in your own opinion. Thanks.

NO IT'S NOT, went to my fist meeting (in a long time ) tonite and got 2 phone calls from people about it from towns 15 miles away. now im going to have to drive over a bridge rather then walk to a meeting. It's NOT anonymous.

Actually it is supposed to be anonymous, hence the name.

When I came to recovery in 1981 AA was the only game in town, and I truly did have a BAD problem with Alcohol, and it was my PRIMARY addiction, but ................................... I had also used many types of uppers over the years to the extreme.

When I first heard something similar to what your friend heard, I was at about 8 months sober, and I really got to wondering. I went to my sponsor and we talked about it. First she had me do a 'mini' 4th step on just my drug usage, and we came to find out it was always so I COULD DRINK MORE. Ok, well then what was next.

She advised me, to 1) only talk about my problems and my alcoholism in AA especially in closed meetings, and that if I felt the need, 2) I could also attend NA meetings and talk about my drug usage, ie when no alcohol available I turned to drugs and/or I did use drugs so I could drink more.

Over the years, lots of folks have become more tolerant of addicts (users of strictly drugs) in AA meetings. However, if an addict is honest, many of them when they could not get their drugs and needed something did use alcohol.

Suggest to your friend that they check out different meetings, I am sure your friend will find some that they fit in.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

No... you will find professionals at any AA meeting. It doesn't matter who or what a person is... the malady of alcoholism is equal opportunity. Some medical professionals, nurses, doctors and pharmacists, in certain areas, have a special group which is closed for them only, but they are usually just a supplement, rather than a replacement, for regular AA.

Hmm, my own opinion on this changes as I go further down this road..... My own home group tolerates mention of our experience with drugs, but encourages us to limit our discussion of them to how they relate to our problems with alcohol, From my own experience, both personally and from shares I have heard from others, for some reason, and I can't say how or why, exactly.... when we limit our discussion to our problems with alcohol, it seems that the group is more unified, it is easier to identify and ultimately, I think, it facilitates our discussion of the solution... and that my friend is what I want to hear... How did you recover using the program of AA? What was your experience?....

My own home group tolerates short excursions about substances other than alcohol. What we don't want, is shares that are stuck in the problem and not the solution...

Ok,Ok... so you smoked crack... whatever... what was your experience with alcoholism and tell us how you found the solution... and don't leave out your spiritual experience... that's why we are here, to share our own experience with that and to listen to yours...

Mark