NEOMARXIST

I've been to my local Asda superstore the last couple of days and they've got the booze stacked to the ceiling as you walk in the store. 3 crates of any booze for £18. So that can be about 50 bottles of Stella for £18 which would have been about a phat extended weekend session for me. ha-ha. It seems to have gotten cheaper since I got sober.

Booze is such an easy option, it was for me anyway. I could walk in with £18 and have an amazing rush of excitement as I carried the booze home. I would crack the beers and then they would start going down in one and I would be totally wasted. I would pass out and then crack a bottle as soon as I woke up. I would drink solidly until they were all gone. I would spend much of that time probably in blackout and probably venture out and buy drugs and would be smoking again. What would be the point of doing that? To escape for a brief moment. It just wouldn't be worth it.

I am so grateful for my recovery and what I have managed to rebuild as a result. I still can get uneasy in my own skin and can feel like I am having to engage in battles at times with my head but that's my own unique stuff that makes me who I am and it is what it is. Recovery isn't a linear progression and my stuff is all in my head and I know that notoriously that at this time of year then I tend to suffer more with associated depression and other stuff that I have.

It's all good though and I'm grateful to be sober and not have that compulsion to drink or want to drink. It makes me smile when I think about it as I'm sure that most 'normal' people don't view 3 crates of beer as a single extended session! lol. Only an alkie would think like that, only an alkie would be able to not die drinking so much in such a short period of time too I guess, ha-ha.

Grateful to be sober, grateful to be an alcoholic.

Peace

coffeenut

Neo, I almost spit coffee all over my screen when I saw your comment about how cheap liqour is now that I'm sober! How true is that!

You're right. That compulsion is gone. What a relief. I never, ever thought that would happen! But, one day at a time.....it has.

Draciack

Man, I think I depended on it so much because it was such an easy option - much easier then, say, dealing with things or people or my emotions or the big questions like what do you want to do with your life...

Good share

wichitalineman

Oh mate, I almost _died_ reading this post! Too true, and incredible insight on the cost of drink since getting sober!! So true: those goombas at Asda/Tesco/Lidl seem to make a sport of stacking the liquor _literally_ to the ceiling! They seem to specifically target your liver with a laser-like focus, spurned on by the vengeful ghost of Spud MacKenzie, no doubt.

For myself, I think the formula was basically whatever I could physically carry out the door for under £20 = a single drinking session. That's a LOT of Żywiec!! (ha ha haaaa)

And trust me, dear reader... you _think_ Pancho Villa is the nastiest liquor you could ever find until your value drink focus turns to the £5.77 Tesco whisky (with the 14p Sugar-Free Lemonade mixer!! what a combo!!).

I could lock myself away and drink... and then: that's it. There is no then. It's over at that point. Forget that!!

GREAT post Neo - I, like coffeenut, literally laughed out loud at this one! Nice one!

Lionne

Haha, great post Neo...I thought that too, recently when I was at the supermarket. Especially now before Christmas time, there seem to be "booze bargains" everywhere. Not to mention the omnipresent hot spiced wine stalls at the equally omnipresent Christmas markets.
And I can honestly say I can't be bothered with it, it just is not an option in any way. I've recently gone through some emotionally pretty rough time, and yet, I would not even have considered drinking over it, even with all the booze being around easily available.
I am so glad I don't have to do that anymore, and that I am not thinking anymore about how much booze I could get for a certain amount of money. I was always anxious that that I would run out of booze before I was drunk enough. What I considered a normal "ration" would have been considered exaggerate by any non-alcoholic. So I'm really grateful for my sobriety, and grateful to see the insanity of my drinking with a bit of humour.