Isaiah

I am with you Cindy. You show no indication whatsoever of wanting to do this tapering any more than you have to. And what puts addicts most in jeopardy is the belief that they can control their drinking, which you are not doing at this time. I think you have a realistic view of the situation you're in, you're focused on your immediate health, which is important. If you can keep the drive to cut it all away when you're medically stable then I think you're on the path to be one of the winners.

It's wonderful to hear you talk about the small victories. The reason I know that a lot of people with long term sobriety (and those with very short term like me even) come here again and again is to get those reminders of how much the little things count.

stanleyhouse

I went into 30 day treatment and told them I wanted to be off alcohol, valium, xanax and addictive sleep-aids before I left. I drank a little more than you but the same pattern. It took about ten days for them to wean me off all the drugs and in the mean time I learned a whole lot. You know what the goal is just stick to it. And remember after you are sober you can address the depression with therapy and proper medications. They do work. You are doing well, listen to your soul.
SH

CJ2006

well, i have been awake since 4 a.m., but of course, i didnt drink, i got a coke and read a book, then drank a cup of coffee. I am feeling pretty crappy, I think I am still going through the withdrawal of 20 to 6, if that is even a realistic withdrawal. at one time, I would have poured myself a drink so I could go back to sleep, so instead, woke my husband up at 7, got bored walking around the house for 3 hours by myself, took a shower, drank some coffee and have a fire in the fireplace and am watching HGTV.

Again, a small victory for me, no drink at 4 a.m. when I woke up, wide awake, reading Savannah again by Eugenia Price, one of my favorite authors.

Day by day, hour by hour.

stanleyhouse

You are doing good. Before you would have had to drink to curb the withdrawal symptoms, vomiting shaking, etc, Right? Now you have a choice and you made the right one. keep up the good work and hopefully your body will regulate to a new sleep pattern. When you cut the booze out completely your body will not wake itself up. Most people who drink at night wake up between 2 and 4.
SH

artsoul

Welcome CJ - I can relate to those "little victories" you talked about, and you have every reason to feel really good about yourself right now. Sleeping was a problem for a couple weeks, but each night got a little better, and the way I started feeling in the mornings (without a hangover) gave me the motivation to keep at it.

Glad you joined the forum - we all need lots of support to do this!:ghug3

CJ2006

You know, Friday night was the hardest, and then I woke up at 4 a.m. and had a coke and read my book. Now, last night, I did what my doctor said, took my Xanax for sleep, went to bed, woke up at 7 a.m. Felt good, went to an AA meeting today, and felt good about that too, but I dont say much there. Went out with friends last night and just laughed. Man, I laughed and it was wonderful. I think the depression is started to life, my body is adjusting from the 15 to 20 ounces a day for 20 years down to the 6 ounces, and honestly every day, I feel stronger. I ate rice today, which is all I eat anymore, at the Mexican restaurant, I add some of that awesome cheese sauce to it and a little bit of sour cream, so I am getting a few calories, but not as many as I am used to, but hey, I need to lose 20 pounds anyway, and the way I look at it, at 60 some calories per ounce of vodka x20, geesh, I deserve a piece of cake HA!

One day at a time, I am better today. Having some friends over tonight to play euchre.

The good thing for me is that my friends dont drink, my husband dont drink, my parents or immediate family drinks (extended family are major alcoholics, but I never see them). So, my support system is awesome.

Once again, small victories mean so much.

CJ2006

holy cow, hang on, MAJOR TYPO, my friends dont drink, my husband doesnt drink, my parents and my immediate family DONT drink, but yes, my extended family are alcoholics, but I never see them. Also, another typo, my depression I think is starting to LIFT, not life, HA!

Dee74

Glad you're feeling improvements CJ

D

stanleyhouse

CJ
I am glad you are feeling better. Maybe you can do some research about a proper diet that will help your body recover from the alcohol damage. If you eat well it helps with the cravings. Also vitamins are very important, especially thiamin and folic acid.
Have a great day tomorrow!
SH

LaFemme

Hey CJ! Glad you are feeling better. I'm with stanleyhouse...you should look into eating a little better....rice and cheese sauce isn't the best diet and after years of alcohol abuse our bodies really need a healthy diet...this is not medical advice...btw....just the sort of thing anyone would say:-)

Untoxicated

I'm glad you said what I was thinking Anna. I'm not a doctor, but I'm a bit concerned that combining benzos with alcohol was a matter of prescription.

I hope you're feeling better and doing better CJ.

Dee74

How is the weaning going CJ?

D

CJ2006

I did my normal last night, went to bed, woke up at 10:30, went to the bathroom, went back to sleep, fireplace still going, very therapeutic, woke up at 3, rolled around a bit, remember I used to get a drink in the middle of the night to calm that rolling around and going back to sleep, but i went back to sleep on my own until my husband kissed me goodbye at 6:30 a.m. when he left for work.

YES, I am sleeping and waking up in the middle of the night and going back to sleep without a drink, *****!!!!! Once again, little victories.

CJ2006

Weaning is going good, yes, and the benzos and weaning you have to be very careful, that is why he has me on such a strict regimen of weaning. What amount he does have me take, I make it last at least 2-3 hours, barely sipping on it, and then with the Xanax for the withdrawal, it is working. I see my therapist Dec 8, from there I will find out what a psychiatrist will want me to do next. I am so trying to avoid another major depressive disorder and a major anxiety attack, when that happens, my heart rate sky rockets, my normal very low blood pressure goes sky high, my heart palpitations go into an irregular rhythm and it is very scary, hence, the reason for the weaning.

UTgirl20

Your story is exactly like mine. I am trying the weaning as well. I constantly feel sick and have no desire to eat or drink. My husband and I decided to quit 2 days ago. I'm even taking spoonfuls at a time. Each day I drink less the bettter I will feel. That's how I see it in my mind. Your thread was an interesting read.