afraid to ask for help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
afraid to ask for help
it has taken a long time for me to admit to myself that i am an alcoholic. any hopes of ever being a "social drinker" have gone out the window. i'm so afraid to ask for help - how can i open up about the secrets i've been keeping for so many years? i drink alone, i hide bottles in my closet, i lie to my boyfriend about drinking, i continue to drink when we get home from parties, i've missed commitments because of my drinking, i've gone to work buzzed. my relationship is hanging by a thread and i have got to get help because my boyfriend means the world to me.
i've always had problems with alcohol but it really started to spiral out of control when my boyfriend and i moved to business school this summer. he is a student and i have a job on campus. the stress of the move really took a toll and i started to self-medicate. business school is not an easy place for me to be - all of the social events are centered around drinking. i started seeing a great therapist about a month ago and we meet once a week.
i want to get better. alcohol is ruining my life and it's giving me a tremendous amount of anxiety. i am so ashamed and embarrassed and i just feel lost.
i've always had problems with alcohol but it really started to spiral out of control when my boyfriend and i moved to business school this summer. he is a student and i have a job on campus. the stress of the move really took a toll and i started to self-medicate. business school is not an easy place for me to be - all of the social events are centered around drinking. i started seeing a great therapist about a month ago and we meet once a week.
i want to get better. alcohol is ruining my life and it's giving me a tremendous amount of anxiety. i am so ashamed and embarrassed and i just feel lost.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
If alcohol is ruining your life then coming here is a great start, for both information and support. No need to feel ashamed and embarrassed, not with us. But don't be ashamed with your boyfriend or anyone else who may, or may not, be aware of your drinking. You are seeking help. Shame is too easy to drown in booze and it's recovery you are seeking.
Welcome to SR.
Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 60
You are discribing my life up untill 4 weeks ago, i had tried to convince myself that i was happy to drink alone rather than go to crowded bars, i moved in with my partner 3 years ago and it started to creep up on the intake, i tried hiding, stopping and lying, always got found out!!! I fell out with my daughters and my partner was ready to put me out. I said i would go to AA, but i was doing it to please them and for a quick fix. I did'nt last long.
In Oct of this year i had an operation on my feet and was house bound, so i started drinking, all hell broke loose, when i sobered up, i made the decision to phone AA and get help, since i have been honest with myself, I have been at peace,.
I would recommened going to meeting, i find the face to face great and sharing experiences.
It's great you have taken this step, wonderfull advice here.
One day at a time
WELCOME
Nawneet
In Oct of this year i had an operation on my feet and was house bound, so i started drinking, all hell broke loose, when i sobered up, i made the decision to phone AA and get help, since i have been honest with myself, I have been at peace,.
I would recommened going to meeting, i find the face to face great and sharing experiences.
It's great you have taken this step, wonderfull advice here.
One day at a time
WELCOME
Nawneet
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,937
Go to xa-speakers;
XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
select the single speakers section, find several women speakers listen to them and you will find that you are not alone and you never have to feel like this again.
XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
select the single speakers section, find several women speakers listen to them and you will find that you are not alone and you never have to feel like this again.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome,
I also hid my drinking from my husband, at least as much as I could. I drank at home, alone, and became increasingly isolated. Addiction robs us of everything, absolutely everything, and I am glad you made the decision to stop drinking. I know that the shame and guilt I felt was overwhelming and it took a long time for me to start to feel good about myself. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. I would add, that if your social/work life revolves around alcohol, it's going to be more than difficult for you to recover.
I also hid my drinking from my husband, at least as much as I could. I drank at home, alone, and became increasingly isolated. Addiction robs us of everything, absolutely everything, and I am glad you made the decision to stop drinking. I know that the shame and guilt I felt was overwhelming and it took a long time for me to start to feel good about myself. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. I would add, that if your social/work life revolves around alcohol, it's going to be more than difficult for you to recover.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family!
YOu are not alone. I too hid my drinking, altho the only person I was truly hiding it from was myself. My daughter knew, and she knew I was lying when I said I wasn't drinking.
Thanks to AA, my wonderful counselor, and my friends here on SR who supported and encouraged me every step of the way, I'll celebrate on year sober next week. I did it one day at a time and I had lots of support. And if I can make it, so can you!
YOu are not alone. I too hid my drinking, altho the only person I was truly hiding it from was myself. My daughter knew, and she knew I was lying when I said I wasn't drinking.
Thanks to AA, my wonderful counselor, and my friends here on SR who supported and encouraged me every step of the way, I'll celebrate on year sober next week.
I did it one day at a time and I had lots of support. And if I can make it, so can you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
In recovery I have learned
over the years that I never
ever have to go thru anything
ever again by myself.
I never have to be alone.
If i don't understand something,
or need an answer, all I do
is come here.
Someone will come along
going thru the same thing
as you or has experiences
similar situations as you
and will share their experieces
strengths and hope with you.
I also learned that I am
not a bad person yet was
just sick.
Sick from drinking.
Today I dont feel guilty
or shame from my past
yet feel free because I
dont carry that baggage
on my shoulders any longer.
SR is an AWESOME place
to be in recovery to not
feel alone ever again.
over the years that I never
ever have to go thru anything
ever again by myself.
I never have to be alone.
If i don't understand something,
or need an answer, all I do
is come here.
Someone will come along
going thru the same thing
as you or has experiences
similar situations as you
and will share their experieces
strengths and hope with you.
I also learned that I am
not a bad person yet was
just sick.
Sick from drinking.
Today I dont feel guilty
or shame from my past
yet feel free because I
dont carry that baggage
on my shoulders any longer.
SR is an AWESOME place
to be in recovery to not
feel alone ever again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
thanks so much everyone, this is a wonderful place and i'm glad i found it.
i have my ups and downs. some weeks i barely have the desire to drink and don't even think about alcohol. and then other weeks i just love my wine...
it's tough being around all of these heavy drinkers but i do have a wonderful group of four friends who are all going through the same transition - moving to a new place, meeting new people, starting new jobs. i doubt they have bottles in their closet... but they're very supportive.
i want my relationship to be as strong and healthy as possible - so i guess i'll start by working on my relationship with myself
i have my ups and downs. some weeks i barely have the desire to drink and don't even think about alcohol. and then other weeks i just love my wine...
it's tough being around all of these heavy drinkers but i do have a wonderful group of four friends who are all going through the same transition - moving to a new place, meeting new people, starting new jobs. i doubt they have bottles in their closet... but they're very supportive.
i want my relationship to be as strong and healthy as possible - so i guess i'll start by working on my relationship with myself
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: A Much Happier Place!
Posts: 91
Welcome to SR, You are not alone!!! We have or all were in similar situations to you and the stress, anxiety, worry, shame that alcohol causes us, our families and/or loved ones is so much worse than living without alcohol. You are making some great choices today...one that will turn your life around completely.....the only person you are kidding is yourself with alcohol. Keep posting....ps I have NEVER woken up sober and wished I'd been drunk the night before!!!!!!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Shame is like a symptom of alcoholism. It hits the hardest right at the time one is ready to quit, and it can be powerful. I can promise that in time, especially if you surround yourself with other people who are in recovery, your perception about who you were and what you did while you were drinking will change.
And getting sober, getting help to begin, doesn't mean you have to confess everything you've done. I think it's somehow natural for us to want to get all the bad things out right away, but that's really something to be worked out in time. Learning how to deal with the present moment is a recovering alcoholic's first job at hand.
Glad you're here. This is a great place for support. It's been a help for me for two years running now.
And getting sober, getting help to begin, doesn't mean you have to confess everything you've done. I think it's somehow natural for us to want to get all the bad things out right away, but that's really something to be worked out in time. Learning how to deal with the present moment is a recovering alcoholic's first job at hand.
Glad you're here. This is a great place for support. It's been a help for me for two years running now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
i was also recently diagnosed with ADD and my therapist thinks i've been self-medicating with alcohol. i'm going to see my doctor this afternoon so hopefully he can help me come up with some better solutions!!!
thanks again, everyone. i'm not sure how i'm going to get any work done today because i keep reading all of these amazing posts.
thanks again, everyone. i'm not sure how i'm going to get any work done today because i keep reading all of these amazing posts.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
