fdsajkll

this might sound crazy.. but is anybody really itchY??

i woke up today.. feeling better but scratching my skin sooo muchhhh!

am i allergic to not drinking.. joke joke but really!!

Dee74

we have a member here called Itchy
it's fairly common I think fdsajkll...hope it lets up for you soon

D

GirlFromCO

Day 4 and thanks for the thread, Sleepie. Formerly class of March 10, but here we are...

I had a terrifying nightmare last night where I blacked out again and woke up in a panic. The night before I dreamed I was pouring bottle after bottle of booze down the sink.

Things are going okay so far. Headaches and bodyaches, the usual cravings but nothing crazy. Not like I was expecting, considering my patterns of intake. That's a blessing.

It's weird to see people who joined when I did initially who have made so much progress in these last months. I feel like I've been living in Groundhog Day. It's strange to realize how well your problems stick to you despite all the denial you can muster. Life moves on but I haven't... So happy to be here now.

6yearsold

I think I feel itchy, too. No joke.

fdsajkll

I am glad other people itch too.. i thought i was going crazy.. its officially been a week. Score

fuel.injected

Yeah I get that too after every binge and recover session. Just don't scratch your feet too much, it's a good way to get athlete's foot to flare up.

ViciousCycle

I know the Groundhog day feeling GirlFrom CO!!! I too have been from a past class. I would like to join you guys if you will have me!

I am only on day 2......I haven't been itchy but alot of chills. Today seems better though. Anyone else had these? I am pumping the sports drinks and trying to eat alot of small meals....I am just taking it easy and trying to forgive myself for falling again. I made the first step and that has always been the hardest for me. Congrats to all of you for being here!!!!!!

Anna

It sounds like everyone is doing well!

Shake off the shame and move forward! I had such a problem with shame and guilt that someone recommended to me that I journal. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was desperate. So, I began writing and poured out everything onto paper. It was very cathartic. It took most of a year to get it all out, and in the end, I burned the journal.

And, yes, Groundhog Day it is! When I look back at the three years I spent drinking, the only thing that changed in those years was that I drank more. I was just 'stuck' in every aspect of my life.

Dee74

welcome back GirlfromCO and VC
have a good rest of your weekend guys

D

reggiewayne

I may be late to the party, but I'm in.

reggiewayne

One of my favorite quotes... "It's not the 10the drink that gets me drunk, it's the first"... All we have to do is not have the first drink. Sounds easy enough right?

Dee74

welcome to the thread Reggie

D

forthekidz

Today is Day 5 for me. Yesterday was hard by afternoon. I stayed on the chat and drank water, and worked thru it. I was so glad for the chat session. This morning I am so glad to wake up and drink coffee and taste it. No shame, No guilt, but it was not easy. I wish I could bottle this feeling and replay it this afternoon when it hits me again. Thanks to all I talked to on chat yesterday.

sleepie

Well all, I am at day one again on December 5th. If only drinking weren't so fun. It's tough because I get bored, and it's very difficult for me to concentrate even if I am interested in something and drinking helps with this. I feel as if I am fighting myself always. Living with with a neurological disorder and it's comorbid disorders is a bit difficult. It's quite a thing to figure out. It's biologically based and has such a grip on my mind. It's literally all in my head.

Dee74

Well drinking wasn't fun for me for years Sleepie, I'm not sure it really is for you anymore either.

I used alcohol to deal with physical issues and mental ones too sleepie - it wasn't very effective with the physical ones, and it made the mental ones - depression, anger, self esteem - that much worse.

I used to be bored too - I'm largely housebound thanks to my disabilities - I used to drink all day.

Now I'm still housebound, but I don't drink - and I'm not bored.

I dunno about you, but drinking actually made me stop looking for interesting and creative things to do, it stopped me pushing my boundaries...it stultified me.

Keep trying Sleepie - keep looking for solutions that will address both the areas you're having problems with...

Welcome back
D

fdsajkll

i went to a bar last night... with a bunch of friends. and was able to stay sober. Holy Cow.
At times I kept starring at the drink menu, my mouth literally waterring and that voice inside my head kept saying "you can have just one" "come on" "one isn't going to hurt" "just stop being sober".. ahhhhhhhhhh i fought it and woke up feeling proud, instead of depressed that I caved into my temptation. It helped having a sober buddy there as well.

Anna

Yes! That's exactly it!

I convinced myself I was drinking out of boredom, when actually my drinking was creating the boredom. Once I stopped drinking, I began to get back to old activities and start some new ones.


I'm glad you're all doing well!

ViciousCycle

I am on day 4 and did more this morning than I would have in a few days while drinking. Although I am pretty tired, I feel sooooooo much less anxious. That is a wonderful feeling. Alcohol is supposed to relax us but after awhile, it is the exact opposite.

Hey Sleepie, at least you are making it another day one and not giving up. It will come.

Hurray Forthekidz and FDS and everyone else for making another day.

Dee74

I'd be careful about where I go for a while fdsajkll - I stayed away for bars and such for months, not weeks - I wanted to be sure nothing would throw me, you know?

I'm glad I waited

D

GirlFromCO

Day 6 for me. I've been thinking about the differences between quitting this time and quitting last time. Last time I made a serious effort to quit (March of this year) I felt really excited and motivated and strong. This time I just feel worn down and depressed and kind of fearful about the future.

I think I'm at a point where another day 1 is not an option for me anymore. This last one was terrible- I should have gone to the hospital. I'm finally begininning to understand, after more than a decade of heavy drinking, that alcohol isn't just something that messes with my life and causes problems. It's f***ing deadly. I think that before now, I thought it was some kind of game. I can't think of anything else to explain my actions. I think I enjoyed the drama on some level.

I'm hopeful that this sense of dread and waste will begin to go away once I have some wins. I'm going back to school next semester after a year of boozing and the things I've had to do to support my boozing. It's difficult to live in an alcoholic's life minus the alcohol, but I'm making plans to get out. Maybe then sobriety will feel a bit more comfortable. For now, day 1 is not an option, and that gives me some strength and resolve.

Thanks to everyone here for sharing your own struggles & achievements. It helps to see other people succeeding at this.