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Hard day

Old 11-30-2010, 01:25 PM
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Hard day

I'm having a hard day today. I had to kick one of my boarders out which was stressful. Course he was pissed but I had good reason.

Wanting to get really wasted. This is the first test I've had. I'm going on seven days. This is where I usually fail...

Having a very hard time not thinking about going to the liquor store.
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Old 11-30-2010, 01:31 PM
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You can do this Tendencies
Each time we face a stressful situation and deal with it sober, it gets easier the next time.

Play the tape through to the end - remmeber what happens when you drink - why you're here.

Drinking is no longer an option

Stick around on SR for a while - do what you have to do not to go to the store.

D
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Old 11-30-2010, 01:56 PM
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Desire

Really fighting it here.

Making dinner. Carrots, broccoli, potatoes and a pork chop.

So agitated. Can't go for a walk. Don't know what I might do with that walk. Find booze.

I think I'll fire up the Xbox and try to lose myself in that. Maybe I should bite the bullet and buy a really good game. Even if I spend $50 that would be better than falling off this wagon.

This wagon ride is sure rough. I'd prefer a nice sedan or something like that.

hah. bad joke.

Damn I'd feel like fool if I drink now.



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Old 11-30-2010, 02:04 PM
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Tendencies,

Hang in there! This will pass. Your dinner plan sounds good. I'd love some steamed veggies with melted cheese myself.

Do you have any recovery books you can look at? I got a new book this week for daily reading. You might try doing some breathing exercises too.

I'm sure you know drinking is only going to make it worse. I can't think of one situation I drank in that didn't make it all worse at the end.

Stick around with us, read the forums and know these feelings will pass.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 11-30-2010, 02:06 PM
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the Xbox sounds a good idea

D
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Old 11-30-2010, 02:25 PM
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Centered

I'm feeling a little more centred now. Reading posts. Thinking about a new game.

Dinner was good.
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Old 11-30-2010, 02:39 PM
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Good to hear, Tendencies.

You will find you get stronger with each of these experiences.
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Old 11-30-2010, 03:32 PM
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Sunk my Battleship

It's almost like having a panic attack...I mean wanting to drink. Turmoil. For me I have to stop thinking about it. Get it out of my head. Get occupied.

I bought a World War II sub game. I hope it's good.
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Old 11-30-2010, 03:37 PM
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I think it's important to to relaise that we are not our feelings.
It's normal to feel anxious and panicky when withdrawing from alcohol.

It can seem like an eternity - but we can, and do, get through it

I found knowing all that helped me distance myself a little from the feelings - feelings can be felt, but they don't necessarily need to be acted upon.

D
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Old 11-30-2010, 04:06 PM
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It does get better as long as you stay sober. Do you have any support system in place? AA or counseling or another recovery program?
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Old 11-30-2010, 04:50 PM
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you're doing great. You'll get stronger every time you resist a craving. It's just your alcoholic voice, not real. Tell it to STFU
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Old 11-30-2010, 05:22 PM
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Thanks for the encouragement.

I don't do AA but have been meaning to look at SMART. I really don't have a support network other than this forum. Which I find helps immensely. I think I would have started drinking again without it.

I would like to talk to people in recovery but I don't think AA is my thing. As you can see from my signature my Dad is a long time AA member. I've never admitted to him I have a problem and won't. It's a long story and not for tonight. I might share it in the future.

If I could find a secular group to go to I think I would do that.
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Old 11-30-2010, 05:33 PM
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Some things that helped me in early sobriety, just to get you thinking: cleaning, cooking, eating ice cream and cookies, working out really hard at the gym where there is no alcohol (which I was motivated to do that now), repeating mantras in my head and breathing deeply, writing in a journal. Hopefully the video game gets your mind off of it! I found the busier I was the less I thought about it and the cravings passed and eventually disappeared. You can do this. The anxiety-attack type cravings don't last.
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Old 11-30-2010, 08:42 PM
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Tendencies,
Sorry you're having some speed bumps in your road but we all do. Smart, AA, hereon SR, all are adjuncts to get what you want. But there are many more secular/non secular recovery supports you can find. If you google your local AA chapter online there is usually a meeting schedule for that area. On ours they also list about 75 numbers to rehabs, counseling, group counseling hotlines etc. And don't forget your own Doc. Don't limit yourself to what you hear about online or off. Go and try them all out for a few weeks and then take what you can use, and leave the rest. Many recovering alcoholics don't fully inform their doc either. For me that would be a mistake. Good to see you're hangin in there.
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Old 11-30-2010, 09:04 PM
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Hi Tendencies -

Most of the time, cravings go through a predictable cycle. They don't last forever and if you can just get through the peak period (for me, the whole cycle is about an hour with the peak of about 15 minutes), you won't drink.

For me, the key was developing the tools to help me get through those cravings until I got far enough in my recovery so that I didn't have many cravings at all.

Keep posting on SR -- and yes, find a program of recovery -- and do it! Welcome.
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Old 12-01-2010, 06:00 AM
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Hi Tend

How are you? I hope you made it through ok, it's tough but if you can ride the wave and see it through, you will feel much better and see that it gets better and easier each time

Let us know how you are doing
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Old 12-01-2010, 07:35 AM
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Hi tend.. its been 5 days now I've been without booze and i fully understand the cravings. Right now I am basically locked up in my room away from booze, and away from reality. What isn't helping my cravings though is the boredom which is coupled by the lack of sleep, stirring at night and anxious feelings that have resulted from not drinking. And i've been such a grouch lately but i keep telling myself after this week it will be easier.

But i keep asking myself what am i really craving? a boredom cure? is it really alcohol I am craving? Because with all that alcohol comes all the bad things and just a temporary fix, even if i drink -- that craving will come back. AND i have to start all over. and I can't be craving to do that.

I just go minute at a time. (Days seem to long right now)

Distract yourself.... Back to basics
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Old 12-01-2010, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Tendencies View Post
Thanks for the encouragement.

I don't do AA but have been meaning to look at SMART. I really don't have a support network other than this forum. Which I find helps immensely. I think I would have started drinking again without it.

I would like to talk to people in recovery but I don't think AA is my thing. As you can see from my signature my Dad is a long time AA member. I've never admitted to him I have a problem and won't. It's a long story and not for tonight. I might share it in the future.

If I could find a secular group to go to I think I would do that.
Hello there fellow Torontonian! I have a couple of suggestions you might want to explore:

This secular group meets downtown:

Secular Organizations for Sobriety Group of Toronto | Centre for Inquiry

Here's a registry for addiction treatment for Ontario:

The Drug and Alcohol Registry of Treatment

In particular I've heard good things about the Branson Campus of North York General and their addiction programs:

DART - Online Treatment Directory - North York General Hospital - Branson Site
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