Do you think all addicts feel bad about addiction?
 

I have a question. It's a very general question, but I was wondering if you think that deep down inside all addicts wish they were not addicted to x,y,and/or z?

Or do you think a lot of addicts delude themselves in thinking they don't have an addiction, so they never feel this way - like they have a monkey on their backs?

In my case, I've always been aware of any addiction and have always felt bad about it. I grew up in an alcoholic home, so maybe this is part of it. I don't know. But on a deep level, I've never wanted to wanted to depend on any mood-altering substance.

Thanks for your thoughts

I can only comment on my own experience with that question. When I ran out of pills, I definitely wished I hadn't become addicted.... Other times, when I had my pills, I really didn't mind too much, I knew I was addicted, but hey, what me worry, I've got mine.

I don't think you can make an 'all addicts' statement in this context CW....

I can only speak for me, but I've been on both ends of that spectrum...and not to make light, but sometimes it was in the same week.

Now I'm just happy I'm where I am today :)
D

I'm with Mark75 - I never felt too bad about it when life was manageable. It's only when everything started spinning out of control that I sure began wishing I'd never seen a bottle of booze.

That's why it was a question. :)

So this is what I mean by most addicts and denial. It seems it's all good until a problem can be specifically correlated to the addiction. I guess one should never underestimate the power of denial.

Damn right I felt bad thats why I quit!

I'd like to try and rephrase Stang's comment but my alcoholic mind believes it's worded perfectly. As such, I second that opinion!

I denied I had a problem - at first - even tho my daughter had expressed concern (more than once) over my drinking. But not long after that I started to have a little nagging voice in my head saying "hey, psst, you've got a problem!" It took me months to actually decide I had a problem and do something about it, but I'm glad I did. Even tho I had the (false) belief that it "wasn't that bad" I still knew deep down it was (getting) 'that bad'... I mean, who in their right mind drinks all day, every day by themselves?? Just my experience...:)

Especially in the early days, I had some damn good times on alcohol. As well as having a really good laugh, it took away some bad feelings of insecurity, anxiety and depression as well.

Were it not for the fact that, eventually, it becomes a threat to ones health, safety and personal relationships, I am not too sure that I would now be first in the sobriety queue.

Now I am exploring other ways of "letting go" in order to feel at ease with who I am. For me, however, the real question is whether we will simply replace addiction to alcohol with another addiction (to spirituality, for instance) and then remain in denial about that.

I felt bad for the last 5 years I drank which is when I think my drinking escalated into drinking. Today I am grateful for my addiction because without addiction recovery would not be possible. Being an active and aware participant in my life is a gift that recovery brings. I have not met many people who live there life fully who did not have to suffer to get there. Hope that makes sense.

Also...by getting sober I now believe anything is possible:)

I don't feel bad about it, or guilty, or shameful...I just wish I didn't have it, much like I wish I could get rid of the depression and the anxiety. I used booze to deal with the other two...and found that along the path of self-medication I became addicted. :gaah

It's not booze holding me back, it's the depression and anxiety. I do the best I can to deal with both under the guidance of my therapist and doctor. Without treatment I do believe I would still be drinking...I couldn't get sober until I got help for my mental issues.

My thoughts are that all addicts sooner or later feel their addiction coming back to bite them if they survive the simple reality that addicts die from the progress of the process of their addictions killing them. Dying is not a warm fuzzy, and so that experience speaks for itself, as we addicts all know first hand, if we look deep enough at ourselves. At some point the addict is doing drugs against their will, otherwise they are not addicts by definition.

Monkey on my back? Sure, when I was high and able to score again and again, then just feeding the monkey was the thing to do. Being in denial about my life slipping away and my death while being high and drunk was something which i simply looked past uncaring and was just only what it was: pure total insanity.

Being alive is what it is all about for all persons goes without saying. Dying and being dead from whatever is not where it is at for anybody addict or not, of course. Being so-called deluded is not only from within the realm of the world of addicts. All persons face life and death with whatever personal experiences they [we] have.

I would say some addicts do die before they become aware of their addictions killing them off. We all don't make it back from that last using time, that last drink. My experience though, my take on it, is that most addicts come to know the awful experience of wishing they were not addicted. After that some die off never knowing anything much different - and some recover knowing that addiction can be beaten forever and a day.

RR

For myself, drugs in the early days was just something I did. I didn't think one way or the other about it. Latter on, addiction was what I had become, everything I did was consumed by addiction. Then at the bitter end I needed to do something else than just to live to feed addiction. In retrospect, I don't really think to much about what I did with regards to addiction. It was what it was and now it doesn't have to be that way anymore.

This is my issue too, but yeah I did feel bad. I realized that I wasn't who I wanted to be and I was getting worse not better.