Trying to stay sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 81
Trying to stay sober
Hi, Im new to this forum. Im 28 and have been sober for 5 months. I drank from the time I was 13 until just recently. It was hard at first, but then I had a good couple of months where I felt really positive, but now the urge to drink is really strong. Im starting to wonder if this feeling ever goes away. I went to 1 AA meeting after 30 days of being sober. I never went back, because to me it seemed like everyone talked about old drinking stories, and this made me want to drink more. Though Im not dissing AA, because I know these meetings have helped a lot of people. On top of this I have bad anxiety and am shy. I know I need to start doing healthier things with my time, but I feel depressed and find it hard to engage in anything new. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 53
Congrats on being sober for 5 months!!!
I'm very shy and have anxiety when I'm in scale situations. So I can totally undeatand where you are coming from about gong to AA meetings. But I would suggest that you still go. You don't have to speak and you don have tomstickmaound to chat at the end. When they asked if there was anyone new to AA... I didn't raise my hand. I just sat there.
To be honest... Im still not sure how comfortable I am with AA. but I want to do everything I can to get sober. So I'm sticking with it for now. And imstarting to like it a little. I also see a therapist and am going through outpatient rehab. I knew I could stop using... But I wanted to prepare myself to stay stopped. And I didn't want to become a "dry drunk" like others I've seen in life.
I'm very shy and have anxiety when I'm in scale situations. So I can totally undeatand where you are coming from about gong to AA meetings. But I would suggest that you still go. You don't have to speak and you don have tomstickmaound to chat at the end. When they asked if there was anyone new to AA... I didn't raise my hand. I just sat there.
To be honest... Im still not sure how comfortable I am with AA. but I want to do everything I can to get sober. So I'm sticking with it for now. And imstarting to like it a little. I also see a therapist and am going through outpatient rehab. I knew I could stop using... But I wanted to prepare myself to stay stopped. And I didn't want to become a "dry drunk" like others I've seen in life.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi April
Welcome to SR.
I don't know about anyone else, but the urge to drink never left me when all I was doing was not drinking. I was 'white knuckling' living my old life unchanged and just not drinking.
This time around I reasoned that maybe drinking was just the tip of the iceberg...I thought maybe I should look at the void in me I was trying to fill with booze instead...and for me that's worked.
Some people do that by counselling, others, like me, find service work and volunteering is a great help and a good way to change your perspective and reconnect to your spiritual side...others find a recovery programme (like AA or something else) is useful...
I think whatever you decide to try, more than one attempt is called for tho.
This is your life you're playing for here...another meeting, or another program, or a counsellor, may make all the difference, you know?
D
Welcome to SR.
I don't know about anyone else, but the urge to drink never left me when all I was doing was not drinking. I was 'white knuckling' living my old life unchanged and just not drinking.
This time around I reasoned that maybe drinking was just the tip of the iceberg...I thought maybe I should look at the void in me I was trying to fill with booze instead...and for me that's worked.
Some people do that by counselling, others, like me, find service work and volunteering is a great help and a good way to change your perspective and reconnect to your spiritual side...others find a recovery programme (like AA or something else) is useful...
I think whatever you decide to try, more than one attempt is called for tho.
This is your life you're playing for here...another meeting, or another program, or a counsellor, may make all the difference, you know?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Hi April999, welcome!
My very good friend has been staying happily sober for quite some time now by working with a psychiatrist only. He doesn't do any AA. I tried that route, it didn't work for me and I went back to drinking. As expected, that sucked and I was even more miserable.
On the other hand, I just returned from an AA meeting where the speaker barely touched on their drunk-a-log and rather spent most of their time sharing about the solution - it was really moving. Thus I've found that AA, this site, and some other things seem to be helping me find happiness in my early sobriety.
I think dee74 and dratsab had some really great advice. And it is our lives we're fighting for, you've come this far- maybe volunteer work or one of the other ideas dee74 laid out may work for you. Hey give yourself a pat on the back, you asked for help before drinking again, that takes courage and show's your willing!
My very good friend has been staying happily sober for quite some time now by working with a psychiatrist only. He doesn't do any AA. I tried that route, it didn't work for me and I went back to drinking. As expected, that sucked and I was even more miserable.
On the other hand, I just returned from an AA meeting where the speaker barely touched on their drunk-a-log and rather spent most of their time sharing about the solution - it was really moving. Thus I've found that AA, this site, and some other things seem to be helping me find happiness in my early sobriety.
I think dee74 and dratsab had some really great advice. And it is our lives we're fighting for, you've come this far- maybe volunteer work or one of the other ideas dee74 laid out may work for you. Hey give yourself a pat on the back, you asked for help before drinking again, that takes courage and show's your willing!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Sorry to know you are having a bump on your sobriety road.
Well done on 5 months.....
I certainly was not thrilled when I began AA....I did not want
to meet any of "those" people. Gee! they laughed at the
oddest times......gave out free literature....served coffee and cookies.
Above the podium was a red banner.....
"Keep Coming Back...It Works"
Well....I swallowed my pride...tucked away my misgivings
and sure enough.....I found a wonderful way to live sober with joy.
Glad you joined our recovery community....Welcome....
Well done on 5 months.....
I certainly was not thrilled when I began AA....I did not want
to meet any of "those" people. Gee! they laughed at the
oddest times......gave out free literature....served coffee and cookies.
Above the podium was a red banner.....
"Keep Coming Back...It Works"
Well....I swallowed my pride...tucked away my misgivings
and sure enough.....I found a wonderful way to live sober with joy.
Glad you joined our recovery community....Welcome....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: South Florida
Posts: 54
i've been in and out of the rooms of aa for just over 2 years now. i keep going back because i hear so many success stories out of the rooms of aa. just ask at a meeting who has over 1 year of sobriety and the amount of hands that goes up really makes me want what they all have. it really does work but you have to work it...
right now i am just focusing on the first 3 steps and getting myself right mentally before i can even move on to step 4. someone suggested i spent a year working on the first 3 steps.
you kind of have to pick and choose your meetings. i have been to some really really bad meetings but it teaches me tolerance and patience which are 2 character defects of mine.
right now i am just focusing on the first 3 steps and getting myself right mentally before i can even move on to step 4. someone suggested i spent a year working on the first 3 steps.
you kind of have to pick and choose your meetings. i have been to some really really bad meetings but it teaches me tolerance and patience which are 2 character defects of mine.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I agree. You have to try different meetings until you find one or more that 'clicks' for you. Not all meetings are the same, and not all are as good as some are. When I've found a meeting that doesn't have what I want (hope and a solution) I just don't go to that one anymore.
Try different meetings. Sooner or later you'll find one or more you like and feel comfortable with.
Congrats on your five months sober and welcome to our family.
I give a lot of credit for my sobriety to my wonderful addiction counselor and this site. Without those two elements it would have been a more difficult journey and a lonely one.
Try different meetings. Sooner or later you'll find one or more you like and feel comfortable with.
Congrats on your five months sober and welcome to our family.
I give a lot of credit for my sobriety to my wonderful addiction counselor and this site. Without those two elements it would have been a more difficult journey and a lonely one.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi,
I hope that you do everything you need to do, in order to get sober.
I have used books to help me get on the right path and stay there, and I always come here to SR. It's my lifeline. Recovery means a lot of changes, especially early on, and I have found that balance is key for me.
I hope that you do everything you need to do, in order to get sober.
I have used books to help me get on the right path and stay there, and I always come here to SR. It's my lifeline. Recovery means a lot of changes, especially early on, and I have found that balance is key for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by bars 
someone suggested i spent a year working on the first 3 steps.
This is absolute rubbish, what you have been told. the steps are to be worked as quickly as possible to the best of our ability...we don't have time to **** around getting our heads straight if we are an alcoholic!
The Big Book clearly outlines this...i hope you get a decent sponsor soon and get on with the work and im sad that you have obviously bumped into one of the many crazies in the rooms of AA that, by their advice, are potentially giving a death sentence to some people with their poor opinions!
Took me 3 months to finish the steps and move onto maintenance and full recovery from alcoholism...good luck and keep moving forward:-)
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