stellaloella

I was so depressed last night and drank again. Made a phone call that left my mom concerned and a cop was called to check on me. I ended up in an ambulance to the county hospital. Now my whole family knows the extent of my problem and they're here supporting me. I spent the whole day with them moving things into my Penske truck. Got a lot done and no one is judging me, they just want to help. I know this sounds dreadful but I think that this is going to turn out for the best in the end. I needed help in so many ways and now I'm getting it.

Impurrfect

(((Stella))) - I'm glad you're okay, and really glad that you know longer have to try to keep secrets from your family, and they are supporting you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dee74

I'm sorry that you felt so badly and sorry you relapsed stella, but I'm glad at least people know now - I really hope that it might be a turning point for you too.

Reach out and find some more help Stella - add whatever you can to whatever you've been doing

D

johndelko408

I hope you feel better soon Stella, your in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad that you're looking at this from the positive. Keep your head up cause you're worth it. Warm hugs for you.

stellaloella

Thank you all for your words of support. You've all been friends to me. I was happy my family did not judge me because I thought that since they are all non-drinkers their view of me would be dismal. It has not turned out to be like that, in fact, my mom even said that vodka was her drink of choice. I could not believe my ears! She told me stories of people she knows and other members of the extended family who have been alcoholic and many who recovered. She was surprisingly informed even though she used to play dumb about alcohol. I have not told my dad what happened but I did tell my husband and he already knew about the cop coming over because my concerned sister had called him to say they were going to check on me. He was supportive and told me he was glad that I'm not keeping any secrets so that I can reach out for support from my family.

I think this is going to be the change I need; with my family being clued in, I will have less anxiety about hiding my problem and can talk to them about my struggles if I am feeling weak. It brought a tear to my eye that they all showed up for me like they did. Both sisters were here, my mom, grandpa, and my sister's husband all arrived. I am extremely lucky and am ready to enter a new phase of my life.

Aurora80

I'm sorry you relapsed, but it's great that you have the support of your family. Good luck and God bless.

johndelko408

I'm really glad that this worked as an eye opener to you Stella. I'm glad to hear that your family was there for you to offer you support. Sometimes we think we do a good job of hiding our personal issues and then they finally come to light. I never really bothered to hide my alcoholism from my family as most of them are alcoholics themselves. My wifes family on the other hand I did try to hide it from, but I'm sure they already had a clue of what was going on. I wish you the best in this new phase in your life or development as we say in AA. I know your not to keen on the whole idea of AA, but you're already familiar with the SMART program of recovery. I do hope that you find your place in whatever support program you feel is best suited for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers and your never alone, we're here for you on SR. Take care of yourself and keep your head up because you are worth it. Warm gentle hugs.:ghug3

SwanSong

I'm sorry to hear that you relapsed too, but wow it sure does sound like you've got a great support group so you don't have to go through this alone....and you're thinking positively good for you!!

Kmber2010

Stella, I am glad you are ok and thank you for sharing. I too couldn't agree more with others that this can be your turning point.

You can do this my friend. I am thinking of you.

CarolD

Glad to know you are on a fresh start....

jls22

Good luck with a fresh start!

least

I too got a lot of support from my family, no judging or condemnation. It felt freeing to get my problem 'out in the open'. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

bostonluv

Yes! Sounds like a very good thing. Don't know about you but protecting my loved ones from my secrets completely back fired on me and now I can see it's all for the best. This way you come back to life and be loved and love in return. Why go deeper into darkness and despair and leave them with that legacy?

lukejay

Wow. Sounds like you have an amazing family to help you.
I too, wish you all the best.
Luke.

SSIL75

Glad to hear you have gotten more support. Really hope this is it for you, now!

keithj

I hope it is, Stellaoella, I really do. And you've explained very well just how this makes sense, how that could produce the change you really need.

But look at that for a second. The alcoholic mind, the mind that can not seem to keep from picking that drink back up, has just figured out what it needs to not drink? Does that sound rational at all?

The biggest roadblock to lasting sobriety that I've seen in years of working with other alcoholics, is the delusion that I know what's best for me. It's that delusion that my alcoholic mind knows what I need to do in order to stay sober.

I look at the absurdity of that today and just smile. There I was, a guy who had never experienced anything more that a few months of not drinking, honestly believing that I knew how to stay sober. I certainly had no experience with lasting, life-changing sobriety. So what made me think that I knew how to get it?

After a few years of that game, I got desperate enough to listen to those that did have experience with lasting sobriety.

stellaloella

Truer words were never said/typed. In fact, my mom said to me this morning, "If any lesson can be taken from this experience I want you to know that you need to reach out to others who care about you. You can't rely on only yourself to solve your problems. This is a conceit." I have to agree. I feel tremendously relieved that my family knows now, and I have even made a couple of jokes that they laughed at. I am glad they still see me as a dimensional human instead of just "alcoholic." I really underestimated them, which I'm sorry for, but it's just an insecurity that I've possessed since we all know so well that alcohol addiction is a very isolating experience.

Anyway, thank you all for your input and though I may not be here for a few days since I'm moving, I'll check back soon.

Love to each of you!

artsoul

Good luck with your move, Stella!

Anna

Hi Stella,

I wish you well with your move and your recovery.

Be sure to check in when you get settled.