Hi I'm Spectral and I'm an alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: London, England
Posts: 3
Hi I'm Spectral and I'm an alcoholic
Hi, my real name is Paul and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for nine years.
The reason I joined this site is because my lovely wife was discharged from six months rehab last week but has already relapsed. In addition to this she is bulimic and makes herself sick every day. Plus she barely eats. Her health is deteriorating. She receives no post-rehab help, there is no sponsor, no dry house, no nothing. She has no willpower or strength to go to AA meetings, as was the original rehab plan.
We are supposed to move flat in 2 weeks. Each morning we agree that she will try and find a new job and arrange viewings for flats while I'm at work, but instead when I get home I find her drunk, depressed and crying, often hysterical. I don't know what to do. She seems beyond help. Of course she needs urgent help, but she doesn't get it. That help neither reaches her and she doesn't have the intention to find help. She simply says, "I want to die," believing that there is nothing anybody can do.
What am I supposed to do? Just go about my daily business and wait for her to die? I am trying to withstand the mental pressure and emotional weight of this situation but the future does look bleak.
The reason I joined this site is because my lovely wife was discharged from six months rehab last week but has already relapsed. In addition to this she is bulimic and makes herself sick every day. Plus she barely eats. Her health is deteriorating. She receives no post-rehab help, there is no sponsor, no dry house, no nothing. She has no willpower or strength to go to AA meetings, as was the original rehab plan.
We are supposed to move flat in 2 weeks. Each morning we agree that she will try and find a new job and arrange viewings for flats while I'm at work, but instead when I get home I find her drunk, depressed and crying, often hysterical. I don't know what to do. She seems beyond help. Of course she needs urgent help, but she doesn't get it. That help neither reaches her and she doesn't have the intention to find help. She simply says, "I want to die," believing that there is nothing anybody can do.
What am I supposed to do? Just go about my daily business and wait for her to die? I am trying to withstand the mental pressure and emotional weight of this situation but the future does look bleak.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
Hi,
I am so very sorry that you are going through this.
Does she have a medical dr who is overseeing her care? He should be aware that she is suicidal. Also, since she is telling you she wants to die, can you take her to an ER and have her taken care of there?
And, please know that you can find support for yourself here at SR.
I am so very sorry that you are going through this.
Does she have a medical dr who is overseeing her care? He should be aware that she is suicidal. Also, since she is telling you she wants to die, can you take her to an ER and have her taken care of there?
And, please know that you can find support for yourself here at SR.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Hey Spectral. Welcome, and congrats on your sobriety. I'm sorry for the bad situation you are in. It hurts so badly to watch someone you love self destruct. IMO, you should take her into the ER next time she seems really bad. You can't take that all on yourself, and they will be able to make her comfortable, and take over. Every time she drinks to that extent, she puts her life in jeopardy. Help her and yourself, and get her medical attention.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Paul
welcome.
I'm very sorry for your situation.
I agree with Anna that your wife's dr. should know the full extent of what's going on, if they don't already.
I'm not in the UK but there are a few online services directories -
Alcohol services | Alcohol Concern
The NHS also puts out a location based one for various conditions - alcohol abuse being one of them. You & your wife may find another avenue there.
http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories...ceType=Alcohol
I'm not sure if you've tried this, but there is also the
The best of luck to the both of you, mate
D
welcome.
I'm very sorry for your situation.
I agree with Anna that your wife's dr. should know the full extent of what's going on, if they don't already.
I'm not in the UK but there are a few online services directories -
Alcohol services | Alcohol Concern
The NHS also puts out a location based one for various conditions - alcohol abuse being one of them. You & your wife may find another avenue there.
http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories...ceType=Alcohol
I'm not sure if you've tried this, but there is also the
National Alcohol Helpline-UK -
Tel: 0800 917 8282
Offers help to callers worried about their own drinking; support to the family and friends of people who are drinking; advice to callers on where to go for help.
Tel: 0800 917 8282
Offers help to callers worried about their own drinking; support to the family and friends of people who are drinking; advice to callers on where to go for help.
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
I'm glad you found us and joined the family.
Take a read, and/or post your concerns on our friends and families of alcoholics forum.Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Some very good advice and support there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Hi,
I am so sorry for your wife and you, what a difficult time. Just a gentle reminder of early sobriety, though - the stress of finding a job and a new place to live cannot be helping her. There are days when I want to hide in my room - in fact, I am doing that right now, and I am at 105 days without a drink! We are fragile in the beginning. And I second or third the advice to contact her doctor and next time she gets drunk and says she wants to die, take her to the ER. She probably needs meds. I took Campral, which reduced cravings and evens out the GABA in our brains. It helped tremendously.
Best of luck, will be thinking of the two of you,
Nancy
I am so sorry for your wife and you, what a difficult time. Just a gentle reminder of early sobriety, though - the stress of finding a job and a new place to live cannot be helping her. There are days when I want to hide in my room - in fact, I am doing that right now, and I am at 105 days without a drink! We are fragile in the beginning. And I second or third the advice to contact her doctor and next time she gets drunk and says she wants to die, take her to the ER. She probably needs meds. I took Campral, which reduced cravings and evens out the GABA in our brains. It helped tremendously.
Best of luck, will be thinking of the two of you,
Nancy
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