ghostie

Hello, I'm a 19 year old college student and I'm new. Quite by accident, I discovered on Thursday night that my ADHD medications, when taken in large quantities, give me an incredibly euphoric high. Since I've been on these medications for years, I have to take a lot in order to feel these effects. I told myself that it was a fluke and I would never take that much again, but here I am three nights later, in the middle of an amphetamine-induced euphoria.

I'm very hesitant to post, because I feel like I don't belong here - this is only my second time abusing these drugs. However, I recognize just how fast this can spin out of control. After dealing with horrible depression/anxiety for a year, this euphoria is ridiculous. It's all I could think about since Thursday night.

I've used other substances before and never really had a problem stopping, but this time, I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff. I'm scared and I want to stop myself before I fall off.

Tonight I reached out to my boyfriend - he's five years clean from all sorts of substance abuse and still active in Narcotics Anonymous. I sent him an ambiguous text that said I needed to talk to him about something involving my ADHD medications that he won't get until the morning. I'm afraid that come tomorrow, I'll chicken out, or I'll tell him and he'll think I'm being stupid for already talking about addiction when I've only done this twice.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting, other then the fact that I found this forum after a google search for "addicted to adderall". I'd welcome any feedback, and thank you so much for reading.

Cottonwoodchris

Hi, Toquade, and welcome. You seem to have already taken the first step and realize this could become a big problem for you. Now you have to be strong and don't let it get hold. Don't chicken out, tell your boy friend, and maybe start going to meetings with him. And, don't be afraid to post back here, there is always someone online that may be able to help you thru a rough spot. They have helped me a lot.

Dee74

Hi Toquade

We actually have several members here with similar stories to yours- I'm sure you'll hear from them

You'll find a lot of support here.

You may also find our substance abuse forum worth a read
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome
D

least

Welcome to the family! You're not being silly or stupid at all, on the contrary, you're being very smart to tackle this problem before it becomes a big problem.

flutter

I think it's wonderful that you're here. For most of us, our common thread is not the amount of drug or drink we've taken, or length of time we've used, but our motivations to do so and our desire to stop it before any further damage occurs (physically or psychologically). Talking to your boyfriend might help you find someone in your life who understands the dangers of substance abuse, but.. and I know this is scary, you might consider seeing your doctor who prescribes the medication, to see if there are any alternatives for your treatment considering what's been going on lately.

Glad you found us, this is a wonderful place!

Kitey

Hi and Welcome

Pleased you came here to seek help and you will find it Im sure...

Good on you for facing what could be a Big Problem later! xx

NEOMARXIST

Hi there. I think the best bet is to get out as early as possible. I took my fair share of Stims and did used to love drinking on speed as I could keep going and going.

The comedowns were rough though and it only gets worse and that euphoria will suck you in and the further you get in then the harder it is to get out.

I am first and foremost an alcoholic. Though I did used to take lots of stims on sessions. It's hard to give it up and I had to mourne and grieve it, especially the related enjoyments whilst on it and also just the feeling of having it in my pocket when i was at a party or pub or wherever.
Cocaine got me more than speed though, partly becuae speed was hard to get hold of compared to coke in UK remarkably. I started out on speed and did love it.

My advice is to give it up as soon as possible as you clearly recognise you've got a problem or else you wouldn't be on here. I remember that euphoria and it was incredible yeah, but I didn't half pay for it... I also only enjoyed stims with loads of booze as i found them too 'edgy' otherwise. I had to quit the booze to quit drugs and I don't do drugs as I'd drink again and I'm an alkie.

peace

suicidequeen

amphetamine abuse is quite serious. as someone who's not used to it in large doses you should really be aware of the effects of the comedown. like neomarxist said the comedowns are rough. when i first started doing speed i was very young and it was so easy to get confused into thinking things that weren't true. negative things like 'everyone hates me', 'i'm worthless' etc etc. it gets worse before it gets better. gravity, what goes up must come down, you see. so for all that euphoria you are feeling you have the exact opposite to look forward to. sleeping helps if you can. i used to do downers to help me sleep but i'm not recommending that. just be careful.

Anna

Hi and Welcome!

I think it's good that you recognize that you have a problem. And, it doesn't matter at all if others understand how you feel. You know that something isn't right, and that's what matters.

I'm glad you found us!

Mark75

Nice huh?... I know that feeling with ADHD meds.... very, very well, I might add. Nothing I liked more than that dopamine rush, that laser beam focus, that expansive feeling, physical strength and endless endurance... yep, good stuff alright.

I succeeded in chasing that around for a few years without getting burned too badly... recreationally and used as the product was intended... but ultimately I became addicted and it opened the gates of hell... alcoholism, sleep disorders, legal problems... and all the while, I sort of knew I'd come crashing down, but figured I'd just enjoy the ride while it lasted.

Nothing anyone would have told me would have changed what happened with me. I could handle it!! I knew all the bad stuff and it wouldn't happen to me!! So, well, I learned the hard way...

If there if anything I can say to you that will change what you are doing, using that stuff recreationally, please let me know what that is... so I can say it.... You've taken the bite of that apple though, and, well, you've taken another... At least you are reaching out, here and with your boyfriend.

One thing I can guarantee... It will never be as good again... as it was last Thursday night.

Keep posting.

Mark