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Old 11-21-2010, 06:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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I am trying to be grateful

Dear SR Friends,

I am grateful to write that I am now on day 83. This has been a week from he**. waah

My beloved German Shepherd had something crazy happen and is now almost blind. We are not sure what is going on, she is on meds, but she is stumbling around.. She goes back to the vet on Wed. I am crying just typing this.

Then tonight, to top it off, my daughter threw such a fit (she's 10) on the way to our Thanksgiving dinner at church that I made my hubby turn the car around. I could not go to service pi##ed as I was and celebrate how much I loved being there.

She is grounded in her room, I had to help my dog down the steps to pee and I just sat on the porch and had a good cry and "feel sorry" for me. but... no booze so that is good.

I just found out that one of our employees was found dead at his apartment this afternoon... he is only in his 30's... so I know that my life could be facing many harder obstacles....

And I am super grateful, very grateful, that I am still sober, working a program and trying so hard to figure out who I am. I hope to be able to type on Friday that I have celebrated my first sober Thanksgiving in 15 + years....

Thanks for listening...

It has just been a hard, hard week.....

Mai Mai

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Old 11-21-2010, 06:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I sure hope that you can find some answers or help for your dog. I do know that animals can deal with such obstacles in their lives, much better than we, as humans can.

And, I am sorry for the loss of your employee.

Dealing with life and its ups and downs is not easy. I have found that trying to not control the outcome has helped me feel much more peace.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 11-21-2010, 06:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm sorry for your bad week mai mai - I hope you & the vet find something to help your dog.

One think I'm always grateful for is a bad week is just that in sobriety - a bad week - not a bad month...or six.

Hope things get better soon
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Old 11-21-2010, 06:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm sorry for the trouble you've been going thru but am very glad you didn't drink over it. Life has its ups and downs and it's hard to deal with it sometimes but drinking will only make things worse.

I hope you have a good vet for your dog. My one dog went (nearly) blind over two years ago but still has a good life as I guide his steps and make sure there's nothing dangerous he could get into. And being a dog, he doesn't feel sorry for himself, just enjoys his life - which is the life of a king. Take good care of her and stay sober. I hope things get better for you.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

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Old 11-21-2010, 06:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Good job on keeping the plug in the jug. I totally feel for you regarding your dog. When I was a sophomore in high school (1998) I got a German rottweiler. In 2008 she got cancer and also went blind. I remember coming home after work one day and I saw her in the backyard looking very lethargic and confused. When I went back there to see what was going on I called her over to me. She was walking into things and stumbling. I took her to the vet to have tests done on her and they told me she had cancer. I had two choices pay $2000 for surgery or have her put down. At the time I could not afford the $2000, so I had to make the hard decision to put her down. I couldn't do it myself because it hurt to much, she was my baby for 10 years. I asked my mom if she could do it for me. This was all around Christmas of 08. I decided that she would spend one last Christmas with me before I had my mom take her. The day after Christmas I was at work and my mom brought her by so I could say my final goodbye. I went to my moms car and spent my lunch break petting my dog, telling her I love her, that I'd miss her and would never forget her. I gave her one last kiss on her head and said goodbye. After my mom left she called me back about 5 minutes later and told me my dog got up gave her a kiss went back to the back seat and just passed on. At work I just broke down and started crying in front of all my coworkers cause it broke my heart that my doggie held on long enough so that we could have our final goodbye. She was the first dog I've ever had as my own, not the family dog so my attachment to her was strong. Till this day I still miss my Sophie.
We aren't bad people trying to get good. We're sick people trying to get well

"Nothing worth gaining was ever gained without effort" Theodore Roosevelt

The day I decided to start living again: January 2, 2010

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Old 11-21-2010, 07:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry about your pup. I know my dogs mean the world to me. You did a great job, having yourself a good cry and not drinking. I hope you have a wonderful and sober Thanksgiving.
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:19 PM   #7 (permalink)

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hang in there, drinking will not help you, take it forme somebody who tried it and believe me it does not work....
We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." Marylin Monroe
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