nawneet

I've met a lady at AA, who joined a day before me and has since stopped attending meetings, we exchanged phone no's and last night she asked to be picked up to go to a meeting, when she got in the car she was reeking of booze and as we drove she was given me reasons for having her drinks and i said it had to come from within and that i still felt she was in denial, she asked to get out of the car and not go to the meeting, i tried to convince her otherwise but she refused saying i did'nt understand and she did'nt think she was an alcoholic. Today she has phoned several times drunk wanting to talk, but not listening, she has also phoned AA helpline, NHS 24hrs, samaritains and also an array of other AA members. Part of me feels guilty and part does not want to get to involved as im early sobriety. Any advice anyone????????

bellakeller

Yikes. Yesterday I went to a gathering with a bunch of sober friends and there was a woman there who used to telephone me early in both of our AA attempts to get sober. She's telephone me absolutely WASTED and not making sense and I'd get off the phone wanting to drink. And eventually I did. Not because of her but the situation sure did not help any. Looking back I wish I'd had the foresight to let her know that I couldn't talk to her when she was drinking because then I'd go down too.

Knowing we cannot get anyone else sober has helped me. I never count on that when I listen to people early in recovery. I didn't make 'em drink and I can't make 'em sober. I just don't have that power so I hand it over to HP and cling to Step 1, 2 and 3.

So, yesterday I went to this party and saw this woman who is now about a year sober. And she did it without me. She got her own path and is working it.

Hope that helps some.

Toronto68

Nawneet, I think it's important to look after yourself first. If there is something about her being around you that is going to put you at risk, then you should remember that. Hopefully she will get on board soon, but she is in some major denial, apparently. You can give her rides if she improves. Sounds heartless, but I think you should only do what you believe you are equipped to do.

fourmaggie

^^ I agree with Toronto, this is your recovery and you did good...you have to set boundaries, and now you know, this is one...maybe next time offer her to drive her to detox? dunno.....

Dime

I agree with the others in that you are new to sobriety and you need to protect your own sobriety first. It is wonderful that you are reaching out to help others but you are not responsible for others who choose to drink. If this lady does not have a sponsor she needs to get one and use her sponsor for support. Try to hang with people who are making a positive effort to work the program.

Congrats on your sobriety!

Dee74

Hi Nawneet

I hear stories all the time of well meaning folks with big hearts and a little sobriety who try to help someone else struggling...and they both get sucked back into drinking.

That's not a good outcome for anyone concerned.

My advice is pass your friend onto to some people with good solid sobriety and experience, and keep focusing on your own journey.

Your chance to really help others will come, when you're ready for it

D