lost in all of this
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 150
I actually have attended quite a few AA meetings in the past where I encountered various public figures. I actually admire them a great deal for having the courage to be there, and I'm sure others feel the same. They're all suffering the same problems and it's meant for support! Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hey ready2,
Glad to hear you're hanging tough and sticking it out the best you can.
When I need a real boost, I take a packet of double mocha hot chocolate and mix it with a strong cup of coffee. It packs a whollop, and keeps me going for a three to four hours, however I recommend steering clear of walls, for I sometimes bounce off of them, lol.
I'm not familiar with any other energy drinks, I just stick with the coffee, and hot choc.
Using again doesn't work, it just sets you back and creates more crap in your life. You've had enough. So stay strong and keep moving, that helps keep you awake as well and is much better in the long run.
You can do this.
Glad to hear you're hanging tough and sticking it out the best you can.
When I need a real boost, I take a packet of double mocha hot chocolate and mix it with a strong cup of coffee. It packs a whollop, and keeps me going for a three to four hours, however I recommend steering clear of walls, for I sometimes bounce off of them, lol.
I'm not familiar with any other energy drinks, I just stick with the coffee, and hot choc.
Using again doesn't work, it just sets you back and creates more crap in your life. You've had enough. So stay strong and keep moving, that helps keep you awake as well and is much better in the long run.
You can do this.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by ready2 
My job makes it hard for me to get help in the small town I live in, people tend to frown on a cop going to an aa or NA meeting.
There's a County Prosecutor in one of my meetings, I know a former Judge/Magistrate in another meeting, Attorneys, Financial Planners, a Surgeon, a Catholic Priest, 2 Doctors, a couple Nurses.....these are ppl I know first-hand in AA. I'd bet there isn't a job anywhere that's NOT represented in AA/NA.
You're just fooling yourself.... really. We'd LOVE to have you. Honest.
From what you've posted, you're in the same perdicament that a lot of us found ourselves (in AA/NA) - we've tried everything and nothing works. You may just need the solution that's offered in that last house on the block - a spiritual solution. I'll be you haven't tried that one yet..... and I'll bet it sounds about as "fun" to you as it did to me - ie "no fun at all." ---and you'd be about as wrong as I was. Sobriety is awesome....it's the real deal....it's really, looking back, what I was hoping to feel when I was abusing drugs and alcohol all those years myself -- only I didn't know it at the time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: porterville
Posts: 13
New low of lows
Today it took all I have not to use!!! Is hard enough to kick these habits/ addictions then my Dr. Cut me off all my mental health meds because of my relaps. Now my wife, who's been my rock through all of this, tells me that she's not sure she wants to be with me anymore she says that I will never change and that she feels trapped in this house and relationship. So now on top of all I'm fighting through I might end up losing my family which is the most important to me. Then I ran into an old friend who tells me he has just what I need to feel better. No thank you!!! My world might be crumbling around me but I'm not going to pour on some gas and help set it ablaze. I'm not a religious man but I would like to believe I passed I big test today by staying clean because it was not easy. If there is a god out there please help me through all of this so that I can be the good husband/ father that my family deserves. Good luck to all of you fighting this uphill battle. Happy thanksgiving to all
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Ready2 -- In AA, we call what you are feeling "the gift of desperation"..
The point is that it sounds like "you are done" with the addiction thing. What you have been doing in the past isn't working.
So, why not give AA/NA a try? What is it going to hurt?
We must learn that recovery is our #1 priority - as without recovery, we lose everything else.
Remember that all the bad things that happen to many alcoholics/addicts can and will happen to you if you continue down this path. This is a progressive disease.
I am sorry that you are feeling so much pain today. For me, it was the steps of recovery that allowed me to first deal with, and then remove that pain. Many places have 24x7 AA meetings over the Holiday called Alkathons. Perhaps stop by one.
When you are done, you will be done. Why not make today that day?
The point is that it sounds like "you are done" with the addiction thing. What you have been doing in the past isn't working.
So, why not give AA/NA a try? What is it going to hurt?
We must learn that recovery is our #1 priority - as without recovery, we lose everything else.
Remember that all the bad things that happen to many alcoholics/addicts can and will happen to you if you continue down this path. This is a progressive disease.
I am sorry that you are feeling so much pain today. For me, it was the steps of recovery that allowed me to first deal with, and then remove that pain. Many places have 24x7 AA meetings over the Holiday called Alkathons. Perhaps stop by one.
When you are done, you will be done. Why not make today that day?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I'm sorry for your trouble, but I admire your resolve ready 
I hope you will seek support, either here or elsewhere, and I hope things improve soon.
You may wish to consult another Dr as well.
D
I hope you will seek support, either here or elsewhere, and I hope things improve soon.
You may wish to consult another Dr as well.
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
The addicted cops in my area go to NA meetings in the
city.....Atlanta is near where I live.
I know this because one is also a member of my AA home group.
Yes.....he uses both programs.
You may want to consider a re hab facility
you apparently are in a very serious situation.
Check into what options are open to police
planning to continue their jobs.
Don't you have a union delegate?
Prayers going out to you and your family
The addicted cops in my area go to NA meetings in the
city.....Atlanta is near where I live.
I know this because one is also a member of my AA home group.
Yes.....he uses both programs.
You may want to consider a re hab facility
you apparently are in a very serious situation.
Check into what options are open to police
planning to continue their jobs.
Don't you have a union delegate?
Prayers going out to you and your family
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: porterville
Posts: 13
This is my eight day clean and I'm happy to say sober. I usually go back to drinking to help ease the drug withdrawls but not this time. I usually can't keep a drop of alcohol in my house longer than a day or two but I've had a 20 pack sitting in the garage for 10 days now. I think I was, in the back of my head, keeping it thinking I would need to drink it but you know what I don't. Drugs and drinking made me think I was dealing with my problems and now I see that without them there are so few problems that I have to face on a daily basis. It just go's to show you how somethings can grab a hold of you and make you live your life/ revolve around hem when n reality your not even living at all, just bearly existing. I'm ready to wake up every day and live my life like it's my last day on this earth. All the I love you's that I forgot/missed because I was high or passed out!! I sure have wasted a lot of time and its time to start making up for it today. I'm going to call my mom and tell her that I love her! When I get home I will hug and kiss my wife and kids and tell them how much I have missed them. Simple things that I haven't/ didn't do on a regular basis because I didn't want them to smell the alcohol on my breath or notice that my eyes looked funny. Sorry for all the rambling but all this stuff is just flooding into my clear head. Thanks for listening
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lomita, California
Posts: 200
Ready, I'm not gonna sugar coat this. You have a choice. Your family and career, or "death, Institutions or jail" as the readings say. One day at a time is all it takes. Tell yourself, "Today, I wont use" Drink a Red Bull or two (I really like them, but getting expensive now) You can pull thru this. Give yourself time, and patience. You didn't get into this problem in one day, it's gonna take more than that to get you free.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: porterville
Posts: 13
I've been so tired lately. It's like I can't get enough sleep to catch up. Wish my
Wife would understand that I'm not just being lazy but that my body is recovering from all the damage that was done to it. She just says that ever since I quit using that I'm always lazy and don't want to help around the house. Some days it's all I can do to get up and get through a day of work. Not going to let this get me down. I'll keep trying to do all that I can.
Wife would understand that I'm not just being lazy but that my body is recovering from all the damage that was done to it. She just says that ever since I quit using that I'm always lazy and don't want to help around the house. Some days it's all I can do to get up and get through a day of work. Not going to let this get me down. I'll keep trying to do all that I can.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,941
Hi Ready.
Maybe have a look at some recovery tools from SMART Recovery. The tools are something one can do anytime from anywhere. Also being here, as your doing is a good resource for support. You might want to join in on one of the Newcomer's Daily Support Threads or just keep this thread going if you please.
I know addiction can be extremely difficult to overcome. But with a good recovery plan and support the chances of recovering go way up. Keep posting and sharing your recovery journey, it dose get better as the clean time adds up.
Maybe have a look at some recovery tools from SMART Recovery. The tools are something one can do anytime from anywhere. Also being here, as your doing is a good resource for support. You might want to join in on one of the Newcomer's Daily Support Threads or just keep this thread going if you please.
I know addiction can be extremely difficult to overcome. But with a good recovery plan and support the chances of recovering go way up. Keep posting and sharing your recovery journey, it dose get better as the clean time adds up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: porterville
Posts: 13
Well here I am 65 days clean and although I've put on a good 20 pounds I feel like a better man. No more hiding no more lying no more worrying about what will happen when I'm caught. I just pray that the lord gives me the power to stay clean for the rest of my life. I know it's better to take it one day at a time but know I can beat this for good. I owe it to myself, my family and my loved ones to say the least.
Glad you're feeling positive about recovery. It makes all the difference!
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