MsCooterBrown

HI! I think the world of everyone here. I have been on alot of different sites and can't get over the support of you guys. A little about me. I will try not to write a book...(you can already tell I am a dot dot dot writer!)

First time sobriety date: 8/22/10. Made it all the way thru to 10/3. Then..I had a birthday party to attend. Went in..started with my club soda with cranberry juice and a splash of grapefruit juice. I am very fond of bubbles. Did fine. Somewhere in the night I got the BRILLIANT idea that I could be a moderation lady. I had gone that long...yeah. Hit me with a Whiskey and Diet Coke. Smooth move. Rounds started. Ended up getting a ride home. Left my poor Jeep abandoned. Came into the house. Bounced off a few walls. Made it to the bedroom and woke up thinking what in the world hit me. Suffered thru hangover day. BUT WAIT...it never ends there does it? I then thought..I already blew it. I KNOW I CAN MODERATE. So went and picked up my favorite wine. Thought that would last at least 3 days. GONE ..I think I polished that off in an hour and a half. Won't keep going on..this moderation experiment I held for myself lasted until I realized NO! Won't work. Drinking is just no longer an option for me. I have been giving it my best for years. Got to the point I could drink my men friends under the table. My tolerance was really scary. And we all have stories but really..I should have been dead several times..been in some bad spots. Never hospitalized. I am one of the fortunate lush types..never lost my job..got a really good job..going on 30 yrs if employment in April. Never got a DUI. Recently..like maybe at the beginning of the year..I started getting "anxiety attacks" and that is in quotes because once I was sober for 2 weeks I was calm. Finally on 10/28/10 I stopped. Been not drinking since. And it makes me happy. I think by finally getting it in my head that drinking is NOT an option I can move forward. I love my clear headed calm like water off a ducks back life I have not drinking! Anyway..just checking in. Hope to wander around the site and get it figured out! Will check back in a bit if I can find it again! Being new..it is like making my way thru a maze. So happy I found you people!

Dee74

Welcome Ms CB

I remember that moment when I realised drinking would no longer be an option for me either - it was a defining moment...and things started to get better from there

You'll find a lot of support here - glad to have you with us

D

MsCooterBrown

Hahaha..this is killing me. Thanks Dee..did I post in the troubleshooting site? I am lost. Thanks for the kind words.

Dee74

s'ok now - you made it
Welcome to Newcomers Forum LOL

D

doggonecarl

Welcome. You'll get a lot of support here.

I drank for over 30 years. Thought is was normal. Stopped and realized that the obsession I had with drink was anything BUT normal. Now that I realize that I'm not a normal drinker and if I return to drinking, it won't be "normal" my recovery has gone a lot smoother. I can better accept never drinking again. Keep checking in.

artsoul

Welcome! I've played the moderation game so many times, and I was soooo determined to make it work. Now I'm glad it didn't because my life is much, much better sober.

Glad you're not still lurking and decided to join us. It really is a great group!

MsCooterBrown

I just had to think. 37 years. Glad my liver is invisible. I read alot on alcoholism now..How your brain actually shrinks after drinking for years..hopefully my brain didn't shrink so much that it won't come back. I feel like I have all my senses! I am not sure why all of the sudden it dawned on me that I am an all or nothing woman! Nothing in between. Hopefully everything will repair itself internal and external! I have had a series of things that could have woken me up. One that is so horrible..I worked with this guy for 20 yrs. He quit 5 yrs ago. Got a phone call from him about 6 months ago. He had moved to another state and found my phone number by googling it. I was so glad to hear from him. But a few minutes of listening to him I realized it was a drink and dial call. He was just so sad..going back to how he wanted his wife back. She had tossed his drunken butt out and divorced him. Kids wouldn't talk to him any more..on and on it went. Got an email a couple of weeks ago at work from another mutual friend telling me that Justin died. No details yet..found out the next morning that he died ALONE choking on his own vomit. What a way to go.

MsCooterBrown

Thanks ArtSoul! I am happy to be with you people! I just don't quite know what I am doing yet. Last post of mine just says 37 yrs...it is supposed to be Been drinking for 37 yrs! man. Anyway..I am happy sober and know that it just feels like I let the good me out! The sick bad me is out the door! Like I have been living a dual personality..and finally came out on top!

Tcher

Nice to "meet" you Ms Brown! I am a newb here as well.

Dee74

Welcome to you too Tcher

D

MsCooterBrown

Welcome to you too Tcher. TEACHER..how very clever of you!

MsCooterBrown

Dee...now move me to a place where there are people to talk to that are night owls. Please. I want to move again.

Dee74

This is the best place - believe me
It gets a bit quieter during US night time, but there's always some of us about

D

MsCooterBrown

Ok Dee. I want to talk tho. Is it daytime where you are? I am in Wyoming. It is butt ugly cold outside but the snow is gone..I am happy about that. I don't mind the snow but I HATE driving on ice. And we have suicidal deer that jump out in front of you on a whim. I go to work in the early morning and it is dark and hard to see them. One ran into my Jeep last winter. How long have you been sober?

Dee74

I'm sorry there's not much going on, but not even a worldwide site like this is buzzing all the time There's a lot to read tho, in between reading and answering posts.

I'm from Australia so I'm here at odd hours, but it's log off time for me too...

You could try the chat room sometime if you like - just go to the blue toolbar across the top of each page - on the right hand side there you'll find 'Chat' - click the little white arrow beside it - there's a pull down menu - hit 'enter chat'

D

MsCooterBrown

Ok. I have UGG boots..does that count? See ya. Thanks for walking me thru some of this stuff...Night.

Dee74

as long as they're aussie ugg boots it does

There's a few more Aussie and New Zealanders about, the Europeans will be joining us any minute now Ms CB, and then the early bird Americans after that - you'll be ok

take care
D

johndelko408

Welcome to SR ms cb. Nice to have a new member. I love SR for all the kind support I receive here and the great pleasure of being able to help my fellow alcoholics and addicts. Glad to have you here and looking forward to bearing more from you...and worry about the dot dot dot writing. I'm pretty notorious for that to...lol

MsCooterBrown

....well yeah! How long have you been sober Mr. 408?

MsCooterBrown

I JUST SAW! 1/2 Heck you almost have a year down Mister! Great! Been doing ok? I feel good. I am in a small drinking town...had to give up alot of my old croonies. Not able to enjoy the bar scene without drinking. Say La Vee or whatever that saying is. That is the only hard part. That is where everyone is after work and on wkends...but maybe I will find more people that want to do stuff without drinking. Takes time. I got lots of that.