JoeCree

Throughout my teenage life, I was always active in sports and pulled honour role grades in school. I never really did anything "bad", tried drugs a few times, went to parties and obviously drank myself under a table a few times too - but there was definitely no addiction, I wasn't waking up the next day feeling like i had to do it again - and often would go weeks or months before I did.

It wasn't until I stopped playing sports competitively after University where I started to embrace the few bad habits I had before; specifically Smoking. I actually never really liked drinking or doing drugs, and come from a long line in my family of non drinkers or drug users so really nothing there.

A couple of smokes a day quickly became a pack-a-day habit, and although I loved smoking I also knew I hated at the same time and knew I would quit "one day". Well, I basically smoked for 10 years (tried to quit six times unsuccessfully) but finally kicked the habit at the age of 32 by using nicorette.

Nicorette was so successful in getting me to quit, that I quickly became hooked on Nicorette itself and found myself going through about a pack a day (more $ than the smokes themselves) for 3 years. During this period I started drinking more, and then more, because where I used to smoke from boredom, I basically just substituted it with drinking.

I started drinking to the point where I was having 2-3 glasses of wine a day, and sometime more if I started at noon (I work from home). I never drink to get sloshed, and would rarely (if ever) get **** drunk, but I started to develop this need (if you will) of having that drink every day. It wasn't going away. I'm married with two young boys, and although the drinking never got in the way, I found myself choosing wine at noon on a Saturday than going to the park with my boys - this is what started to alarm me.

If I could become so addicted to smoking, should it not be possible that I become progressively more addicted to alcohol? and if so, how long does it take before you truly feel out of control?

I have decided to stop drinking for good, because I don't really want to know the answer, but here is my dilemma: There is no point to go to AA because it was never a huge issue in my life, never caused problems with family or work or whatever - and I certainly don;t need a sponsor or whatever. I consider what I am doing now "preventative maintenance" because I "could" go down that dark path, in maybe 2-10 years if I continue??? who knows.

So what exactly am I?

yeahgr8

My father would prefer a glass of wine to taking us out on Sundays...no family problems for him at that time either...shame about us though!

As for what you are...who knows?! Thats for you to find out...stick around do some reading and something might click...welcome and good luck:-)

chebella

you're asking others to define you... that's impossible over internet...

You posted this because obviously you find there is a problem for you. Not family or others but for you. I think I can only do it for myself.... maybe you should too.

But we have a familiar background: sports sports smoking and drinking. When I do something, I do it good. Whatever it is! lol

Good luck.

Anna

No one can label you, and it doesn't matter what others think of you.

You know yourself whether you have a problem with alcohol or not. If you're not sure, try stopping completely for a fixed period, say a month, and see what happens. But, it does sound like you're ready to live a sober life, and we're here to offer support.

flutter

A lot of us have quit drinking and pursued recovery without AA. It sounds like your life will be better in some ways without the dependence/addiction/(whatever) that alcohol has become for you. I know mine is! This place is great for support, but don't fear reaching out for some in person help if you're having some trouble working on this by yourself. I know I couldn't really do it alone, personally.

Dee74

Hi Joe
Welcome

I agree with Anna and the others. If your drinking is concerning you, does it matter so much what you call it ?

Good luck with your plan Joe, and keep us informed....

D

K8E

I relate. I'm glad that I realized that although I wasn't a drunk to the outside world I was making bad choices. If you are seeing this pattern then no-one else's opinion matters.
If you came here and thought you had a problem then you are on a dark path. You are wise to get off it now while you can. Sober people DON"T ASK!
I haven't gone to AA but I haven't had a drink for 60 days and I come back here to remind myself why. I feel way more involved (for good and bad) in the way I feel and get through each day. In 10-15 more years of this slippery slope I think I'd have drunk myself to death.

artsoul

Welcome Joe! I think we can be prone to addictions - some people just never seem to have a problem with it and others get addicted to multiple things. Being a "work at home person" too, made it just that much easier to drink when I felt like it. It took years, but eventually I was having a bottle of wine almost every day and didn't know how much control it had over me until I tried to quit.

I think it's really smart that you're looking at this. We're always here for support!:ghug3

JoeCree

Hi Everyone,
wow, lot's of replies thanks for the comments, they are appreciated.

I'm now at day 10 of not drinking and it has been going pretty well. Funny story last night I had my brother and his wife over for dinner, and he arrived with a case of beer - to which I said, "nah don't really feel like any tonight" - his face was stunned. It's funny how many angles alcohol rears it's face.

Part of my "sobriety" (if u will) is to quit everything:
- Nicotine through cigarettes, was damn hard but check. (4 years)
- Nicotine through gum, was very hard too, not as bad. (1 year)
- Prescription drugs, Lorazapam, Effexor, was hell to get off of, but check. (1 year)
- Deep fried foods - fairly easy, check (4 years)
- Alcohol - will be very hard because it was such a part of every day life (like smoking) so far so good, this website is the perfect buzzkill for alcohol. (10 days - this being the most important)
- Caffeine....... not quite ready to drop coffee just yet, but that will be next.

Good luck to all of you in your quest as well. I thank you all for your help.

downster

JoeCree

Have been addicted to everything aswell and kicked the lot (including coffee) and just need to put that last tick against alcohol. 100 days in but this is the toughest by far.

Cheers

Downster

JoeCree

that's awesome that you have been able to kick all of them (even Coffee). But IMO Alcohol is by far the most important one to kick. Smoking might be bad for your health, amongst the other stigmas associated with it, but at least it is not a "mind-bender". Prescription drugs as well, didn't really know just how addicted to them I was until I tried to get off them (think Trainspotting baby seen).
But Alcohol IMO is the worst because of what it basically and "inevitably" leads to in people with addictive tendencies (hence why i am quitting now).

How many times I said to myself, "Why did I ever start smoking, it would be so much easier if I never started". I'm heeding my own advice for alcohol,I don;t want to be saying that to myself in 2-10 year from now when it is too late.

downster

I got to the point where I was just so fed up of being addicted to something and decided enough was enough. This has been the running order over the past 20 years (abstinece period in brackets)

Gamblng (15 years)
Cigarettes (5 years)
Pot (10 years)
Coke (5 years)
Alcohol (100 days)
Caffiene (80 days)

Alcohol has been the toughest nut to crack though. This is why I'm hesitant in taking anti-depressants as knowing me i'll probably become addicted to them aswell

Downster

JoeCree

Those are some impressive statistics. You're lucky you kicked the drug habit, I tried some crazy mushrooms one night and it was amazing - i knew right there and then i could NEVER do it again for fear of addiction - that was 10 years ago.

As for anti-depressants, I took mine (general anxiety) for a severe case of tinnitus (Effexor prescribed) to help me cope with the ringing in my ears (which probably had alot to do with stress as well), and the lorazapam for night time which was when the ringing was the worst.

They were very effective, and helped me thorugh a tough time - i thought i'd be on them for a few months, but was on them for about 3 years. It wasn;t addiction, like smoking or alcohol - i didn't take more than i needed.. just that my body formed a huge dependency on them, and when you go off, well... that is when it is bad.

But if I had my choice, I'd rather take anti-depressants than alcohol, but that is just me. If you think you would actually "abuse" prescritpion drugs, then don't even bother.

You've cut out so much, it's quite an accomplishment - keep it up.