Im new here, hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 43
Im new here, hi
I'm posting to this board because I feel alone. I spent my entire adult life being addicted to something, sometimes multiple things at once. I'm now 36y old and I don't want to be "that" guy anymore. I quit all my vises throughout this last year but now I'm left with the last one. Alcohol. I tried to quit before and seemed to always find a reason to return. My biggest reason I always find is that I feel a need to reward myself. I can find any reason in the world and make that the reason I "deserve" to get drunk.
Fifteen days ago I decided that I wanted to be clean. I've told myself everyday that I need to find my rewards in life. Not the bottle. I have not failed but it doesn't seem to be getting much easier. I think about drinking alot. I try to keep myself busy and that is working.
I did a search on google for "does NOT drinking ever get easier" and I found this place. Reading about other people struggling does makes me feel better. That sounds terrible but its true. Non of my friends understand that I'm an alcoholic because they drink too and if they would admit that Im an alcoholic then that would mean they are too. I'm too ashamed to tell my family because they would just think I'm exaggerating my problem for attention or to tell the truth. They probably wouldnt even care because that would require them to take their focus off of themselves. I have two wonderful daughters that are a huge part of my life. They are too young to tell I have a drinking problem.
So here I am. Alone. I feel like if I'm screaming and no one hears me. So I'm posting here so at least I know someone will listen. Even if Ill never know the person I do feel better just saying it. Just do me a favor. Tell me this gets easier. Please.
Fifteen days ago I decided that I wanted to be clean. I've told myself everyday that I need to find my rewards in life. Not the bottle. I have not failed but it doesn't seem to be getting much easier. I think about drinking alot. I try to keep myself busy and that is working.
I did a search on google for "does NOT drinking ever get easier" and I found this place. Reading about other people struggling does makes me feel better. That sounds terrible but its true. Non of my friends understand that I'm an alcoholic because they drink too and if they would admit that Im an alcoholic then that would mean they are too. I'm too ashamed to tell my family because they would just think I'm exaggerating my problem for attention or to tell the truth. They probably wouldnt even care because that would require them to take their focus off of themselves. I have two wonderful daughters that are a huge part of my life. They are too young to tell I have a drinking problem.
So here I am. Alone. I feel like if I'm screaming and no one hears me. So I'm posting here so at least I know someone will listen. Even if Ill never know the person I do feel better just saying it. Just do me a favor. Tell me this gets easier. Please.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
In my experience, it got harder for a long time, but sure enough, it got easier.
Do you think you're an alcoholic? If so, whatcha going to do about YOUR alcoholism?
I had to become willing to do whatever it takes. I had to take action and participate in my OWN recovery. What a concept, huh? I was unable to simply think my way out of my alcoholism and if I could, I probably wouldn't be an alcoholic.
You sound very concerned about your family and friends reaction. Please don't be. I know its scary (I remember the early days very well).
I had to change my people, places, and things. I also had to change myself b/c you see, the same me will drink again. Maybe this is true with you too?
Great job posting. I found this place via a hungover, panic attack, google search too.
You never have to drink again.
Welcome to SR.
Kjell
Do you think you're an alcoholic? If so, whatcha going to do about YOUR alcoholism?
I had to become willing to do whatever it takes. I had to take action and participate in my OWN recovery. What a concept, huh? I was unable to simply think my way out of my alcoholism and if I could, I probably wouldn't be an alcoholic.
You sound very concerned about your family and friends reaction. Please don't be. I know its scary (I remember the early days very well).
I had to change my people, places, and things. I also had to change myself b/c you see, the same me will drink again. Maybe this is true with you too?
Great job posting. I found this place via a hungover, panic attack, google search too.
You never have to drink again.
Welcome to SR.
Kjell
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
First, welcome.
"Tell me this gets easier. Please."
No. It doesn't. Nothing as important as getting your life back is easy. But I can tell you this...It gets better. Life gets much better and its worth every painful hour that you will go through. And the folks here on SR will be with you for every one of them.
"Tell me this gets easier. Please."
No. It doesn't. Nothing as important as getting your life back is easy. But I can tell you this...It gets better. Life gets much better and its worth every painful hour that you will go through. And the folks here on SR will be with you for every one of them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 144
First, congratulations for staying sober even when you don't feel "wonderful" because, yes, it's hard. You admit you have a problem/addiction, you give it up...and then, since you've made such a sacrifice, everything is supposed to be all better, am I right? But from what I've seen, it doesn't turn out to be so easy. This problem had me so frustrated that it became possible to me to repeated turn to alcohol time and time again.
Things started to change for me when I accepted that I was in "recovery" and had to start addressing the why of my addiction. It hit me hard to see my alcoholism as the ultimate selfish behavior. The next step was learning how to change how I think and behave. Reading SR, AA, immersing myself in recovery literature, and talking to other people in recovery has helped me tremendously.
As many others will say, it's a process.
Things started to change for me when I accepted that I was in "recovery" and had to start addressing the why of my addiction. It hit me hard to see my alcoholism as the ultimate selfish behavior. The next step was learning how to change how I think and behave. Reading SR, AA, immersing myself in recovery literature, and talking to other people in recovery has helped me tremendously.
As many others will say, it's a process.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Welcome to SR!
Not drinking for me became harder and harder as long as I tried to stop myself without help. I failed each time and my drinking only got worse.
When I decided to accept help the situation completely reversed. For me what made a difference was immersing myself in a program of recovery and giving it my honest best effort. It really wasn't very long before I became more interested in learning how to life my life better on a day to day basis and I forgot about having the drink. As much as I was reluctant to become involved in AA I found that working the program has saved my life. Today I live alcohol free and do not miss it a bit.
There are other programs available such as "Smart" and there is also a secular section of this forum here that works for many.
Good Luck!
Not drinking for me became harder and harder as long as I tried to stop myself without help. I failed each time and my drinking only got worse.
When I decided to accept help the situation completely reversed. For me what made a difference was immersing myself in a program of recovery and giving it my honest best effort. It really wasn't very long before I became more interested in learning how to life my life better on a day to day basis and I forgot about having the drink. As much as I was reluctant to become involved in AA I found that working the program has saved my life. Today I live alcohol free and do not miss it a bit.
There are other programs available such as "Smart" and there is also a secular section of this forum here that works for many.
Good Luck!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
By "easier" do you mean less painful, mentally and physically? If so, then yes it does get easier... as long as you stay sober and do the necessary work on your physical and emotional self to maintain sobriety and happiness.
It took me several weeks after quitting drinking to start feeling 'human' again and not like a bundle of nerves and pain receptors.
But somewhere between four and six months sober I started feeling so damn good...
And now I'm coming up on a year and can't believe the wonderful new/better life I'm living every day.
If I were you I'd grab onto some real life support, be it AA or another program, counseling, IOP, whatever you choose to maintain sobriety... just put all your energy into it and the rewards will be fantastic. For me, one of the best things is just waking up feeling good and not sick as hell...
Welcome to the SR family!
It took me several weeks after quitting drinking to start feeling 'human' again and not like a bundle of nerves and pain receptors.
But somewhere between four and six months sober I started feeling so damn good... And now I'm coming up on a year and can't believe the wonderful new/better life I'm living every day.If I were you I'd grab onto some real life support, be it AA or another program, counseling, IOP, whatever you choose to maintain sobriety... just put all your energy into it and the rewards will be fantastic. For me, one of the best things is just waking up feeling good and not sick as hell...
Welcome to the SR family!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Welcome!
For me it absolutely has gotten easier! I'm only 3 mos in but I enjoy most every day now. The anxiety and uncertainty that plagued me at the start has mostly disappeared. I am for the first time in my adult life enjoying sober things. YMMV of course.
I've been trying to quit in one way or another for years. But this time I finally accepted that it has to be no alcohol, forever and that's made a world of difference to me.
Welcome and stick around!
For me it absolutely has gotten easier! I'm only 3 mos in but I enjoy most every day now. The anxiety and uncertainty that plagued me at the start has mostly disappeared. I am for the first time in my adult life enjoying sober things. YMMV of course.
I've been trying to quit in one way or another for years. But this time I finally accepted that it has to be no alcohol, forever and that's made a world of difference to me.
Welcome and stick around!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi drent
For me it got easier yeah - once I accepted I was an alcoholic and I could either be the person I really wanted to be, and have a shot at the kind of life I wanted - or I could continue to drink.
It's pretty much either/or as I see it.
Once I accepted that, once I gave up on the notion of ever controlling my drinking, and once my life got less complicated and my health came back, and with the help of SR I stayed sober through those first kinda dangerous periods of feeling good....I actually found I progressively more and more wanted - desired - to be sober.
So yes - it got easier.
Not overnight - it took time to change my self and my life and sometimes it was difficult - but nothing about my old life drinking was easy either.
You're not alone - you'll find a lot of support here.
Welcome
D
For me it got easier yeah - once I accepted I was an alcoholic and I could either be the person I really wanted to be, and have a shot at the kind of life I wanted - or I could continue to drink.
It's pretty much either/or as I see it.
Once I accepted that, once I gave up on the notion of ever controlling my drinking, and once my life got less complicated and my health came back, and with the help of SR I stayed sober through those first kinda dangerous periods of feeling good....I actually found I progressively more and more wanted - desired - to be sober.
So yes - it got easier.
Not overnight - it took time to change my self and my life and sometimes it was difficult - but nothing about my old life drinking was easy either.
You're not alone - you'll find a lot of support here.
Welcome
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi drent - welcome! You're definitely not alone - there are lots of us out here with the same problem. When I came here and finally posted, it made a huge difference, like I could talk to people who understood me and supported me.
The obsession was pretty intense at first and I came close to drinking a few times, but when I got on here and starting reading, I just knew that there was hope. If we can do it, you can too, ya know? Keep hanging with us and yes, it gets easier AND better.
The obsession was pretty intense at first and I came close to drinking a few times, but when I got on here and starting reading, I just knew that there was hope. If we can do it, you can too, ya know? Keep hanging with us and yes, it gets easier AND better.
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Hi Drent, welcome to SR!
When I first came here like you (sick and tired, ready for a change to something better) there was no way that I could have ever imagined what the future would hold for me, how I would chance, how my beliefs would change, how EVERYTHING would change. If somebody had told me about the value of spirituality in the context of recovery, I might have said thanks but no thanks, it just was not something I could relate to at that time. If somebody had told me that I could live happily (content) without alcohol, I might have hoped they were right but took a wait and see approach.
Well I waited, and I worked HARD on my recovery, and now I can see.
I can see what I was once BLIND to.
Perhaps a similar future awaits you. Time will tell. Best of luck.
When I first came here like you (sick and tired, ready for a change to something better) there was no way that I could have ever imagined what the future would hold for me, how I would chance, how my beliefs would change, how EVERYTHING would change. If somebody had told me about the value of spirituality in the context of recovery, I might have said thanks but no thanks, it just was not something I could relate to at that time. If somebody had told me that I could live happily (content) without alcohol, I might have hoped they were right but took a wait and see approach.
Well I waited, and I worked HARD on my recovery, and now I can see.
I can see what I was once BLIND to.
Perhaps a similar future awaits you. Time will tell. Best of luck.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hey Drent,
It's a half-way consolation, but yeah, it gets better. You might be screaming now and sobriety might seem like the tightest wad of c*** there ever was. But there's a fact that has been time-tested and supported throughout time, if you keep at quitting life gets much better than being an alcoholic and continuing to drink.
Patience? Doesn't matter if you want it, buy it anyway. Because hangovers, regrets, withdrawals, broken lives do not ever stop or get better for an alcoholic. People have gotten sober hating the idea of sobriety, while people who think sobriety is a "dream world come true" keep drinking and it never gets any better for them. Just quit. Do it, learn to love it, or adjust to hating it until it works. Either way. Sobriety is the only ticket out of alcoholic hell.
It's a half-way consolation, but yeah, it gets better. You might be screaming now and sobriety might seem like the tightest wad of c*** there ever was. But there's a fact that has been time-tested and supported throughout time, if you keep at quitting life gets much better than being an alcoholic and continuing to drink.
Patience? Doesn't matter if you want it, buy it anyway. Because hangovers, regrets, withdrawals, broken lives do not ever stop or get better for an alcoholic. People have gotten sober hating the idea of sobriety, while people who think sobriety is a "dream world come true" keep drinking and it never gets any better for them. Just quit. Do it, learn to love it, or adjust to hating it until it works. Either way. Sobriety is the only ticket out of alcoholic hell.
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