Apathy.
 

I have 18 days sober and I'm doing fine. I didn't have a physical detox this time and even the psychological withdrawal symptoms have been pretty minimal. I'm a lucky one, I know. But I was a nightly drinker, and every night now I find myself getting really apathetic. I don't feel a whole lot of anxiety or irritability specific to nighttime anymore (except on the weekends), but I also don't care. I'm really passionate about school, but now that I don't study drunk, I can't bring myself to care about getting anything done. I did very well in school when I was drunk all the time, so I don't even have the motivation of doing better. It was my personal life and health that were a total mess. Did this apathy happen to anyone else?

Yes, I relate. I think apathy and boredom are characteristic of alcohol abusers. Time alone with myself is really difficult sober. It reminds me of the ruinations of my drinking life... however, not drinking is the only way to build it back for me and will (hopefully) live longer. Life is a fleeting dream and if we don't grab it we will lose it. Good luck and take care.

I too had some difficulty early on. I had a hard time motivating myself as all my energy was put into staying sober...:) It will pass, give it time, and if you're still feeling so 'blah' after a few more months, see your doctor/shrink.:hug:

I've had this too. Have you talked to your doctor? I tend to "self-medicate" with alcohol and removing the alcohol doesn't remove the underlying problem. In my case, my doctor diagnosed seasonal affective disorder and I started using a light box, which helped tremendously. Not trying to give medical advice, just saying sometimes the alcohol--or lack thereof--is not the real problem, but it's really easy for us to just assume it is.

Take care,
MM

Minusmarbles (love the name, by the way!), I am on a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant. This antidepressant is very new to me, so I'm hoping it helps. I think I just need new expectations since I'm used to feeling that "high" every night!

Hi Watch! Yes, I can relate. I know we all get tired of the cliches that go along with getting well, but "be patient, it gets better" is one that really is true. We've abused our bodies & lived a crazy life being anesthetized alot of the time. We are learning to live again in a new way.

I agree with Stella about the apathy/boredom thing. I was ready to give up in the beginning, but knew I had to stay the course or die. With every week that passed, I felt stronger and happier. That continues to this day, at almost 3 yrs. sober. You're doing great - be proud.

My experience was the same as Hevyn's, WTS.

Some weeks I simply kept moving because the folks here told me to - they told me to trust them that it got better....and it did.

Of course if you're especially concerned, a consultation with your doctor is never a bad idea :)

D

I feel many fall by the wayside early on, when they simply don't know how to handle the flood of emotions. On those days, I came here and just read - often crying & shaking, but reading other's stories & knowing I wasn't alone kept me from caving. I would never have believed I'd find such comfort online, but it happened.

Had the same thing. The early weeks were like that for me (apathy, tiredness) and slowly got better after that.

There's actually a physiological reason for it, according to what I've read on the internet: Alcohol increases the flow of dopamine in the brain, so the brain stops having to do it by itself. When we stop drinking, we're left with a lack of that chemical, which is related to mood. In other words, we don't have any "feel good" chemical production and it takes some time for the brain to start up again.

I'm sure that's an oversimplification of it, but it's nice to know that it won't last forever. If it gets to be depression, it's better to get some help, though.