How do you do an AA Meeting?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: California
Posts: 62
How do you do an AA Meeting?
13 days and now I see that I need more support. I would like to do an AA meeting but how do you do it? Do you just show up and hope you don't recognize anyone? Can you sit in the back and just watch? I don't think I will know anyone. Lastly, how anonymous really is AA -do people take a vow or something not to reveal information?
My sobriety is precious to me. I know its stupid but I feel like I am guarding my virginity - I don't want to lose my sobriety - I know it may never come back.
My sobriety is precious to me. I know its stupid but I feel like I am guarding my virginity - I don't want to lose my sobriety - I know it may never come back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 522
just walk in. you don't have to say a word.
I did just that on Tuesday. I went to a meeting at lunch and just listened.
They will probably ask if anyone there is new, but even then you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.
hope this helps.
-SD
I did just that on Tuesday. I went to a meeting at lunch and just listened.
They will probably ask if anyone there is new, but even then you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.
hope this helps.
-SD
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Just show up. You don't have to speak if you don't want to. You can just listen to what is being said. There is no vow that is taken. It is said usually at the end of a meeting that "what is said here, who you see here, please let it stay here"---hence...asking that we protect the anonymity of both others and the group.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hi Pascal,
Your involvement in AA can be as much or as little as you want. In my experience, the more involved I am in my own recovery, the better
You can go on to the AA website and find meetings in your own area. You just show up and sit down. You can sit in the back if you want. You do not have to speak. If you are called on, you can introduce yourself and just say that you would like to listen today.
If you see someone you recognize, you do not have to worry. Everyone there is there for the same reason...looking for a new way of life. I applaud your willingness to do what you need to do to keep your sobriety. You might look into doing service eventually (making coffee, setting up, etc.). It helps to get involved.
Wish you the very best!!!
Your involvement in AA can be as much or as little as you want. In my experience, the more involved I am in my own recovery, the better
You can go on to the AA website and find meetings in your own area. You just show up and sit down. You can sit in the back if you want. You do not have to speak. If you are called on, you can introduce yourself and just say that you would like to listen today.
If you see someone you recognize, you do not have to worry. Everyone there is there for the same reason...looking for a new way of life. I applaud your willingness to do what you need to do to keep your sobriety. You might look into doing service eventually (making coffee, setting up, etc.). It helps to get involved.
Wish you the very best!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
You got it pascal. You just walk in and have a seat. The meeting will come to order on time. There will be a couple of readings (usually the steps and traditions) and then usually a basket is passed for the 7th tradition (I usually put a dollar in the basket but not always). At some point in the beginning, AA anouncements will be made by the secretary of the meeting and newcomers with 30 or fewer days sober are invited to introduce themselves if they want to.
ALL OF THE ABOVE VARIES BY MEETING.
Then, depending on the type of meeting, the chairperson will be introduced and will share their story for 10-15 minutes. Then a topic of discussion is chosen by the chairperson and people are called upon or volunteer to "share."
If you want to sit in the back and just listen you can! The first couple of times I went to a meeting were a little weird, but never uncomfortable. I never ran into anyone I knew. I do now only because I've gotten to know people in meetings! Just know that as a newcomer YOU are the most important person there. Not only are you taking positive steps toward your own recovery, but as a newcomer you are helping people at that meeting more than you will know by attending.
Do it pascal! CONGRATULATIONS on your 13 days!! That's amazing! I'm pulling for ya!
ALL OF THE ABOVE VARIES BY MEETING.
Then, depending on the type of meeting, the chairperson will be introduced and will share their story for 10-15 minutes. Then a topic of discussion is chosen by the chairperson and people are called upon or volunteer to "share."
If you want to sit in the back and just listen you can! The first couple of times I went to a meeting were a little weird, but never uncomfortable. I never ran into anyone I knew. I do now only because I've gotten to know people in meetings! Just know that as a newcomer YOU are the most important person there. Not only are you taking positive steps toward your own recovery, but as a newcomer you are helping people at that meeting more than you will know by attending.
Do it pascal! CONGRATULATIONS on your 13 days!! That's amazing! I'm pulling for ya!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
Also pascal, if you don't have a Big Book you can pick one up at a meeting. They are relatively inexpensive and you can get one from the secretary after the meeting.
If you haven't read any of the big book, I recommend picking one up and taking a look-see. I was astounded the first time I cracked that book open!
If you haven't read any of the big book, I recommend picking one up and taking a look-see. I was astounded the first time I cracked that book open!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 144
I think LexiCat posted this recently...and it's a great way to familiarize yourself with AA (and it gets into how the newcomer may feel/react).
Your First AA Meeting<
Your First AA Meeting<
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by tmbg 
I think LexiCat posted this recently...and it's a great way to familiarize yourself with AA (and it gets into how the newcomer may feel/react).
Your First AA Meeting<
Your First AA Meeting<
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
It's much easier than you might think. First of all, a lot of the people who attend meetings regularly tend to get there 10 or 15 minutes early - to get coffee, socialize, etc. There's a good possibility that if you show up a little early to your first meeting, one of the regulars will introduce themselves and make you feel welcome.
Meetings are generally an hour long. The meeting usually starts with the chairperson asking everyone to join in saying the Serenity Prayer, then a few different people who have been asked prior to the meeting will read the introductory AA readings...a brief explanation of what AA is (the "Preamble"), a document called "How it Works" (which goes over the 12 Steps), a list of the 12 AA Traditions, then maybe one or two other readings from a daily meditations book.
The chairperson usually asks if there are any newcomers or visitors who wish to identify themselves - and you can introduce yourself at this time if you want to, although it's not mandatory. Then the chairperson will ask that all of the folks in attendance go around the room and introduce themselves ("I'm Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic" or "I'm Stephanie and I have a desire to not drink today.")
The format of the meetings can vary; there are discussion meetings where people take turns sharing about a particular topic, speaker meetings where one speaker tells their "story" for most of the hour, and literature-based meetings where people take turns reading from and commenting about selections from either the Big Book or the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. There might be other formats but being new I might just not have heard about them yet. Regardless of the format, nobody is ever required to do anything other than listen. Should you wish to say something or ask a question, though, you are certainly welcome to.
When taking a turn to share, it's customary to preface your comments by re-identifying yourself ("I'm Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic. I'm wondering/thinking/having a problem with/etc...") Something that I found a bit confusing at first was the fact that people don't address each other directly, they just take turns sharing and addressing their comments to the entire group. Don't worry about this - if you have a question or need clarification about something you've heard during the meeting, just hang out for a bit after the meeting is over and talk to the chairperson or another member one-on-one. A lot of what goes on in AA happens during the "meeting after the meeting" when people again hang out to smoke, have coffee, and chat with each other.
As for how the meeting itself ends, the chair might ask someone to give out the chips - these are chips you earn after certain amounts of time sober. As has already been said, the "white chip" is the first and most important one offered - it's given to newcomers who want to start the program or become members or AA, and it's also given to established members who have had a slip or relapse and want to re-start AA. Don't be shy about picking up that white chip if you've liked what you've heard and want to come back again...although if you're very shy you're allowed to go to the chair privately after the meeting and get a chip if you prefer to do it that way.
The "7th Tradition Basket" is passed around for contributions - and they generally ask you not to contribute if it's your first meeting. Announcements are read, and the meeting usually closes with everyone forming a circle and reciting a prayer or brief reading together.
I hope that helps - again I'm pretty new myself so I can appreciate how daunting the idea of that first meeting can feel. But I can also assure you that it's likely to be far more enjoyable than you can imagine - and far more helpful. Many people come away from their first meeting feeling an enormous sense of relief and hope...you're likely to feel that you've finally found other people who are like you and with whom you can relate, not just about alcohol but other "life" stuff as well.
Keep us posted on how it goes; best of luck to you!
Stephanie
Meetings are generally an hour long. The meeting usually starts with the chairperson asking everyone to join in saying the Serenity Prayer, then a few different people who have been asked prior to the meeting will read the introductory AA readings...a brief explanation of what AA is (the "Preamble"), a document called "How it Works" (which goes over the 12 Steps), a list of the 12 AA Traditions, then maybe one or two other readings from a daily meditations book.
The chairperson usually asks if there are any newcomers or visitors who wish to identify themselves - and you can introduce yourself at this time if you want to, although it's not mandatory. Then the chairperson will ask that all of the folks in attendance go around the room and introduce themselves ("I'm Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic" or "I'm Stephanie and I have a desire to not drink today.")
The format of the meetings can vary; there are discussion meetings where people take turns sharing about a particular topic, speaker meetings where one speaker tells their "story" for most of the hour, and literature-based meetings where people take turns reading from and commenting about selections from either the Big Book or the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. There might be other formats but being new I might just not have heard about them yet. Regardless of the format, nobody is ever required to do anything other than listen. Should you wish to say something or ask a question, though, you are certainly welcome to.
When taking a turn to share, it's customary to preface your comments by re-identifying yourself ("I'm Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic. I'm wondering/thinking/having a problem with/etc...") Something that I found a bit confusing at first was the fact that people don't address each other directly, they just take turns sharing and addressing their comments to the entire group. Don't worry about this - if you have a question or need clarification about something you've heard during the meeting, just hang out for a bit after the meeting is over and talk to the chairperson or another member one-on-one. A lot of what goes on in AA happens during the "meeting after the meeting" when people again hang out to smoke, have coffee, and chat with each other.
As for how the meeting itself ends, the chair might ask someone to give out the chips - these are chips you earn after certain amounts of time sober. As has already been said, the "white chip" is the first and most important one offered - it's given to newcomers who want to start the program or become members or AA, and it's also given to established members who have had a slip or relapse and want to re-start AA. Don't be shy about picking up that white chip if you've liked what you've heard and want to come back again...although if you're very shy you're allowed to go to the chair privately after the meeting and get a chip if you prefer to do it that way.
The "7th Tradition Basket" is passed around for contributions - and they generally ask you not to contribute if it's your first meeting. Announcements are read, and the meeting usually closes with everyone forming a circle and reciting a prayer or brief reading together.
I hope that helps - again I'm pretty new myself so I can appreciate how daunting the idea of that first meeting can feel. But I can also assure you that it's likely to be far more enjoyable than you can imagine - and far more helpful. Many people come away from their first meeting feeling an enormous sense of relief and hope...you're likely to feel that you've finally found other people who are like you and with whom you can relate, not just about alcohol but other "life" stuff as well.
Keep us posted on how it goes; best of luck to you!
Stephanie
Last edited by stephnc; 11-18-2010 at 09:58 AM. Reason: grammar
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 60
Go for it, it's so great to have face to face meetings and support, i find it wonderfull, reading the big book and living sober by AA is great to. Glitter really explained it all very well and if you go on holiday you can pick up a where to find and take in meetings. I go to Edinburgh often just for a change. I live in Fife. I'm 16 days sober going well.
Nawneet
Nawneet
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by pascal
Do you just show up and hope you don't recognize anyone?
Yea, well, that's what I did at first... LOL, that's awesome!
Everyone has to walk through that door a first time. Everyone is there for the same reason. There should be a spirit of love and tolerance, don't worry so much... You'll see, it's all good.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Just a note... not all meetings 'do' sobriety chips. Ask if the one you go to does chips. There are different types too: speaker mtgs, discussion mtgs, 12 and 12 mtgs... different types. At speaker mtgs I've been to, especially the bigger ones, they don't necessarily go around the room for introductions.
Find out what type of meeting you're going to before you go so you can be prepared. Better yet, call the local/area AA number and ask the person who answers - they can tell you what meetings are where and what type.
I don't go to as many mtgs as I used to do, but still go to my home group and still enjoy the mtg and the people there.
Find out what type of meeting you're going to before you go so you can be prepared. Better yet, call the local/area AA number and ask the person who answers - they can tell you what meetings are where and what type.
I don't go to as many mtgs as I used to do, but still go to my home group and still enjoy the mtg and the people there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Pas, I just wanted to support you on your decision to add a program of recovery. I think this will really be the beginning of something solid and I also wanted to say well done on your sober time. Your doing it!!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Pascal....... as for the anonymity part of your question and the "hope nobody recognizes me" line:
I've never once been surprised to see "him" or "her" walk into a meeting.....to the contrary, I usually think, "Thank God......it's about time!" Anyone else walking in for their first meeting, I'm betting they feel the same way I felt.......which was exactly the way you described your feelings. When someone new comes in.......I want to make them feel as comfortable as I can help them to be - that's empathy rather than sympathy. Read that link tmbg posted....that will help.
As for the anonymity.....I've never had anything bad happen to me as a result of someone seeing me in AA, knowing I'm in AA or knowing I'm a recovered alcoholic. --if there WAS something, I didn't even notice it so it couldn't have been that bad, yanno?
I lol'd at the "is there a vow" part. Come to think of it though, there's nothing that forces one to keep things from the tables AT the tables.......technically there's no vow, solemn oath or anything like that. It is, however, strongly "encouraged" to not run your mouth outside AA about what happens inside AA. That's probably a better way to put it though.....to ask......to "suggest." An alkie like me (and I suspect, like most of you), as soon as I know what the "rules" are, my mind sets to working on exactly how I'm going to break all the rules.
I can't say ppl in AA "never" talk........but like I said, I've never been hurt by any of it.
Congrats on rounding up the courage to try something new and to consider a direction you don't necessarily "want" to take. Nobody IN AA wanted to be in AA prior to getting there....so welcome to the club. What your doing takes courage - to consider that maybe you don't have enough gas in the tank to fix this stuff on your own. Heck, if you stick with it and work the program, you probably just saved yourself YEARS of agony in trying/failing/trying/failing horror show.
I've never once been surprised to see "him" or "her" walk into a meeting.....to the contrary, I usually think, "Thank God......it's about time!" Anyone else walking in for their first meeting, I'm betting they feel the same way I felt.......which was exactly the way you described your feelings. When someone new comes in.......I want to make them feel as comfortable as I can help them to be - that's empathy rather than sympathy. Read that link tmbg posted....that will help.
As for the anonymity.....I've never had anything bad happen to me as a result of someone seeing me in AA, knowing I'm in AA or knowing I'm a recovered alcoholic. --if there WAS something, I didn't even notice it so it couldn't have been that bad, yanno?
I lol'd at the "is there a vow" part. Come to think of it though, there's nothing that forces one to keep things from the tables AT the tables.......technically there's no vow, solemn oath or anything like that. It is, however, strongly "encouraged" to not run your mouth outside AA about what happens inside AA. That's probably a better way to put it though.....to ask......to "suggest." An alkie like me (and I suspect, like most of you), as soon as I know what the "rules" are, my mind sets to working on exactly how I'm going to break all the rules.
I can't say ppl in AA "never" talk........but like I said, I've never been hurt by any of it.
Congrats on rounding up the courage to try something new and to consider a direction you don't necessarily "want" to take. Nobody IN AA wanted to be in AA prior to getting there....so welcome to the club. What your doing takes courage - to consider that maybe you don't have enough gas in the tank to fix this stuff on your own. Heck, if you stick with it and work the program, you probably just saved yourself YEARS of agony in trying/failing/trying/failing horror show.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: California
Posts: 62
How do I say thanks?
I don't think I have ever met so many caring people in one place. All of your input and encouragement means so much to me. I wish that all of you are blessed big time - that the same love and encouragement you provided me is returned to you a hundred fold.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
im happy ive just found this thread this evening,these are the kind of caring folk you will find in a meeting pascal.you may have to try a few to find one you really like but thats ok! it took me a while to find the ones i felt most comfortable in and where folk were talking alot about getting well and living lives where it was no longer necessary to drink.
by the way,welcome!
the 12 steps of AA promised me i could quit once and for all! how cool is that
please let us know how you get on....with a bit of hard work you are in for the ride of you life.
by the way,welcome!
the 12 steps of AA promised me i could quit once and for all! how cool is that
please let us know how you get on....with a bit of hard work you are in for the ride of you life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I spent a very long time finding something that works for alcoholics so that when I have found it and hear another person like me still looking it obviously i want to at least say "Its over here mate!"...AA does have a solution for alcoholism, a way to recover and you've already had a load of posts about what to expect...good luck:-)
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
In our AA group we had a deputy sherrif come in a few minutes after the meeting started who I thought looking for someone, then he sat down in full uniform, I was new and was so relieved when he said "Hi my Name is XXXXX and I am an alcoholic." A local veterinarian invited me and others for free coffee at his office and advice on our pets with no issue. I found that I lived just down the street from another member of our group. You'll find that the privacy issue isn't really an issue, especially after you've visited a lot of different meetings. NO we don't mention it outside the room, but you'll be surprised at how many friends you will make. Some stay very private and we only know them in the room for an hour. Your privacy is up to you. It isn't required that anybody know anything but your first name, and you could make that up and no one would know . . . or care about the name.
Let us know how your first one goes.
Let us know how your first one goes.
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