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omg this sucks so bad. when will it get better.

Old 11-15-2010, 09:52 PM
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omg this sucks so bad. when will it get better.

Ugh i ******* hate this. i quit drinking and smoking 3 days ago. My skin is crawling. I'm breaking out and look like a monster. I've lost all my drive. I haven't gotten out of bed in 3 days. Prior to this i'd been in 12 year relationship which ended in april, which happened to be my first and only relationship ever. It ended because of meth. I have no friends. I just can't do this anymore. WHen and how the **** will i start living a life worth living.

I am sorry to be having such a pity party but this is all a little too much, and I'm so mad at myself for allowing this to become my life. Someone please tell me soemthing to snap myself out of this.
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:01 PM
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hey,
i just want you to know you arent alone. you could throw a rock at this forum and hit atleast one person who you will be able to relate to!
im sorry you are feeling the way you are right now. it really does get better though. im prob not the best to be giving advice because im trying to get back out of my current situation, but when i was doing good, after a while it was so nice to finally start to feel all the possibilities again and what life can offer.

be strong, its only been 3 days, the first week or two always suck the most!
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:08 PM
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thanks Vanilla

I appreciate it, especially cming from your current state. I think I'm just looking for some form of connection. I've hated AA in the past, perhaps I need to try it. I"m just so terribly lonely and its been my addictive nature that has gotten me in this seat. I'm terrified bc I have my addiction issues built into my creative process too (I'm an artist) and I dunno if i'll be able to be as "creative" anymore without this cructh.

How many times have you gone thru this? What helps you?
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:09 PM
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(((Construct))) - welcome to SR!!

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but it can be the last time you have to go through this. I don't know how much/how long you've been drinking, but seeing a dr. is always a good idea. Alcohol withdrawal can be pretty serious...even fatal.

That being said, I'm a recovering crack addict. Though there were no physical withdrawals, the mental were pretty bad. I've kept the memories of how bad I felt at the end, so I don't ever forget why I quit.

This is a great place for support and ES&H (experience, strength, and hope). We didn't get in this shape in just a few days, or even weeks. It takes time for the body to begin re-healing itself, but it does.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:14 PM
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Thanks Amy, I appreciate it. Your lil monsters ( i use that term affectionately for your cats and pup) made me smile. Been drinking pretty much non stop for years and years (at least 10), with momentary breaks of a day here or there, or a few days here or there, and one stretch of about a month and half.

I know I can do it, I just have to learn how to deal with the loss associated. I've lost everything except my job at this point. Grrrr.
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:33 PM
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Hi Construct - Welcome.

I usually started to feel good after day 3/4 so maybe it will be the same for you.
I second the advice to see a Dr tho...it's never a bad idea, especially if you've been drinking for a while.

As a musician I can tell you, everything you thought drugs and alcohol gave you is there in you all along. You're the artist, not alcohol.

Don't fall for the 'creative' lie.
D

Last edited by Dee74; 11-15-2010 at 10:45 PM. Reason: clarity
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:41 PM
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Hi Construct - I'm an artist, too, and I know what you mean about using alcohol while being creative (although looking back, it hurt my work more than it helped). I've been making a living at it for 20 years, and because of the economy, things have been extra stressful. I didn't know if I could sit at the easel without drinking.... (still haven't quit smoking, though, so a big congrats on that!)

I spent the first couple days in bed, too.

The good news is that at 6 months, I have no desire to drink (the obsession goes away slowly, but it does go). I'm also producing more and my work is getting better. Are there days when I can't paint? Sure.... but they're fewer and further between now.

It takes a while for the energy to kick back in, too. But each day it gets a little better. Hang in there and be patient with yourself. You're worth it....!
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:43 PM
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The initial w/d from alcohol is rough, no doubt. But once you get past the first four or five days you should be starting to 'smooth out' a bit. It took me a couple months to start feeling really 'good' again, tho each sober day was an improvement from the day before it.

And if you're feeling really badly, please do get medical help.

Welcome to the family!
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Old 11-15-2010, 11:03 PM
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How about doing a series in your art (Paint/draw/sculpt/dance/photography etc., whatever your art, about today and how you are feeling a recovery journal in art? I can sure agree with artsoul and Dee in that my music and writing is much better sober than drinking. It isn't easy to get sober, you just have to hang in there. Alcohol took my creativity away as it dulled my edge. I still produced but it was only good enough, not good. I had to get sober to see that.
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Old 11-15-2010, 11:11 PM
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Thanks everyone

All of your suggestions are really appreciated and make a lot of sense. I'm gonna try to hang in there, and have hope it will get better. Can't get much worse than where i"ve already been which might have been the bowels of hell for all I know.

I dunno any of you, and I already do feel a little bit better.
thanks for that.
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Old 11-15-2010, 11:26 PM
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If you don't mind me asking, what was it that you hated about AA? I didn't feel better until about 4 days. At first I felt uncomfortable at AA, once I got to know some people I felt like I in. It does get better though, way better. I've got 10 months and can honestly tell you I don't ever want to drink again, and I don't have to no matter what. I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 11-16-2010, 12:57 AM
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Glad you are with us Construct and sharing your experience. The early days are a bit rough and are confusing but you can and will overcome. As we all know, our addictions didn't just happen overnight so it will take time for health and overall well being to improve.

SR has been a solid piece in my recovery and coming here has been a blessing to me. When I relapsed early this year.....I looked at it and said...what can I do different? I found that keeping with SR and getting face to face support to work for me.

You can do this so please keep going. You are already writing the new chapter in your life and if you find that what you are doing isn't enough (give that a bit of time) then add to it. There are so many support options available and who you are now defines you not the alcohol nor drugs....thats how I view it.

We can begin anew my friend.
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Old 11-16-2010, 04:32 AM
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Welcome Construct. Congrats on three days! I'm doing day 17 and in bed a lot too. After a quitter's high depression and sadness and general no-ideaness set in yesterday. But, I hang around here, have gone to a few AA meetings and try to take it one day at a time.

I hope you can give AA another try - I am finding it very helpful even if I don't understand everything...

take care and stay strong - just for today
vee
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Old 11-16-2010, 08:03 AM
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it sucks, no way around that. but you don't ever have to go through this again as long as you don't pick up a drink. it gets better. the timeframe is different for each individual.
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