lindsi

I'm only 22 and I've been to two 28 day treatment programs that didn't stick. This last time I spent 90 days in rehab and 2 months in a sober living facility and I really thought that was it. I really thought I'd be able to do it. I've pretty much been high since I was 14. Those times in rehab and sober living facilities are the only periods of sobriety I've had since. I moved back home just over 2 weeks ago and last night I hooked up with some old friends and I shot up again. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. Everybody's given me so many chances and they're all so happy that I'm doing so good and I don't want to let everybody down. I just want to do it again so bad. I left the city, I left my cell phone, and I rented a hotel room. I don't know how long I can run away for. I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to not do it tonight. I know I'm not the only person who's ever been in this situation, I know that. It just feels like an absolutely impossible spot right now and I don't know what to do.

Dee74

Hi Lindsi

I've never been to rehab or anything but I know I had to change my life - I too fell over many times getting sober then going back trying to live my old life.

I had to cut out certain people from my life and certian places, I had to do things differently. I had to change within.

I was happy to do that because my old life wasn't working.

Have you considered a recovery programme like AA/NA or SMART?
Many find face to face support can be helpful.

D

Anna

Hi Lindsi,

Welcome!

I know it's not easy, but you have lots of tools and you can get through this. Hooking up with old friends is not going to work for you. As Dee said, you need to make some changes in people in your life and places you go, to ensure your recovery.

Please take a look around SR and you will find lots of support.

You might also consider NA or another program that might help you.

stanleyhouse

Lindsi
Please call someone who cares about you and your sobriety, right now.
You cannot shoot drugs because it is not safe, you might not survive. I have heard of many people coming out of rehab and going back, just to overdose because there body could not handle it anymore.
keep posting. we'll talk
SH

Dime

Rehabs are great for getting you on the road to recovery but it is only a beginning. I found that I needed an ongoing change. My disease is always going to be there and waiting for the moment I let my guard down. What worked for me was a program of recovery that I continue to stay active in to prevent the monster from returning. The good part is I have long been relieved of cravings and the desire to put poison in my body.

Needless to say avoiding high risk situations is imperative in early sobriety. Discovering new sober things to do can be wonderful when you realize you can wake up the next day without having the regrets.

Good Luck In Your Recovery!

least

Welcome to SR! I hope you can find a way, within you or outside of you to help you stay clean. It's worth the effort.

Kmber2010

Lindsi, I am glad you are here sharing and we get it. There has been great support in this thread and I couldn't agree more with others have shared.

You can do this but you have to leave that old life behind. I had to restart in all areas and I had to have continued support. Recovery for me has been about positive change but I found I needed face to face support along with SR to really get a solid grip on it.

You have the desire so you can do this. We are here to support you.