How it Worked for Me!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 207
How it Worked for Me!!
Hi All - It has been awhile and I have always found updates helpful so I thought I'd give it a try. I am on day 87 sober and glad to be reclaiming my life. Over the years I would quit but always with the thought that I could drink again and just moderate. Well, Aug 20, 2010 (also the week I joined SR) was the first time I quit with the intent not to drink again - and so far so good. So what worked for me??
AA - doing it my way! I braved my first meeting with the encouragement of friends here at SR and found it very helpful. Mostly it was critical the first month or so to have meetings to go to to fill up the holes left by not drinking and break the pattern when I would typically reach for a drink. It was cathartic to speak for the first time about my drinking and to feel support from people who understood. For me the desire to drink took a backseat. So I went to meetings but gradually cut back and now don't go as I built other activities into my life.
So why did I stop going to meetings? The majority of people in my meetings were many years sober. It was daunting and I wondered how does anyone ever do it. But after a few weeks it dawned on me what was really daunting about this - partly the years sober but mostly that people keep coming back for years and years and that this is the goal talked about in meetings- keep coming back and make meetings part of your life - this seemed to be the measure of success because this keeps people sober. So although people say to work your own program, I got the distinct message that a healthy goal is to keep coming back over the years as they had done - or else I was at risk of relapse. What no one spoke of (and I wish they had) was that those who choose not to make meetings part of their lives beyond a certain point can, and do, do well and go on to lead full lives - and can always return to meetings at any time they want or feel the need to - this I find comforting.
So I say this without judgement either way - each person should be encouraged by options so they can decide and get a feel for what they need to do to make this work for them. I must say that I did find this type of balanced discussion here on SR and am grateful that people here tolerate such discussion, participate, respect and listen to all sides. Just as I have SR I know AA will always be there when I need it and I know how to find it and use it - having these in my toolbox is very important.
Planning activities is a big part of my recovery and not always easy - it takes initiative and energy and some creativity. So each day I strive to have a balance of work, exercise and other activities I enjoy. I actually now call friends and make plans to do things together. I have taken back control of my life in a proactive way. I can't control alcohol so it is not part of my life. I started a healthy diet the day I stopped drinking so I have lost weight and can once again look at myself in the mirror!! Perhaps most important is that my dogs have their mom back.
Thanks for following my journey - it helps to write this down and know others care. It is nice to be able to stop by here and say hi, read about how others are doing and share my experiences so we can learn from each other and never forget from where we have come.
AA - doing it my way! I braved my first meeting with the encouragement of friends here at SR and found it very helpful. Mostly it was critical the first month or so to have meetings to go to to fill up the holes left by not drinking and break the pattern when I would typically reach for a drink. It was cathartic to speak for the first time about my drinking and to feel support from people who understood. For me the desire to drink took a backseat. So I went to meetings but gradually cut back and now don't go as I built other activities into my life.
So why did I stop going to meetings? The majority of people in my meetings were many years sober. It was daunting and I wondered how does anyone ever do it. But after a few weeks it dawned on me what was really daunting about this - partly the years sober but mostly that people keep coming back for years and years and that this is the goal talked about in meetings- keep coming back and make meetings part of your life - this seemed to be the measure of success because this keeps people sober. So although people say to work your own program, I got the distinct message that a healthy goal is to keep coming back over the years as they had done - or else I was at risk of relapse. What no one spoke of (and I wish they had) was that those who choose not to make meetings part of their lives beyond a certain point can, and do, do well and go on to lead full lives - and can always return to meetings at any time they want or feel the need to - this I find comforting.
So I say this without judgement either way - each person should be encouraged by options so they can decide and get a feel for what they need to do to make this work for them. I must say that I did find this type of balanced discussion here on SR and am grateful that people here tolerate such discussion, participate, respect and listen to all sides. Just as I have SR I know AA will always be there when I need it and I know how to find it and use it - having these in my toolbox is very important.
Planning activities is a big part of my recovery and not always easy - it takes initiative and energy and some creativity. So each day I strive to have a balance of work, exercise and other activities I enjoy. I actually now call friends and make plans to do things together. I have taken back control of my life in a proactive way. I can't control alcohol so it is not part of my life. I started a healthy diet the day I stopped drinking so I have lost weight and can once again look at myself in the mirror!! Perhaps most important is that my dogs have their mom back.
Thanks for following my journey - it helps to write this down and know others care. It is nice to be able to stop by here and say hi, read about how others are doing and share my experiences so we can learn from each other and never forget from where we have come.
You go girl!! Doesn't matter how you're 'doing it' as long as you're 'doing it sober'.
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