lukejay

Kadybug...i've had clarity when i went sober after detox for those 4 months...it came after two months of sobriety. everything i'd worried about seemed insignificant. i had some internal fortitude...now that is all eradicated/emaciated thanks to the drink again.
hmmm i should see my 'good' doctor tommorr, but i don know if i'll wake up early enough (its 5:30am here) and i've had enough valium to down an elephant...we shall see if i make it there in time tho.
thanks for the advice tho. thankyou.

Dee74

It really is true that nothing changes if nothing changes Luke.
You have to want to that better life, and be prepared to work for it.

I really don't know of any other way.

Here's a load of links for help and support throughout Australia Luke - I hope you'll look through them and follow some up

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2273689

D

lukejay

thanks dee, i'll look thru the links later...rather tired now as i've been out all morning at my 'good' doctor. shes put me on lexapro and some valium if needed...going back tommorro for a referal from her to some 'house' run by a psychiatrist where people can either go in fora week to learn/recover or do meetings on a weekly basis. she believes i should be on antabuse and somethin else to control the cravings (forgot the name)...but will let him decide.
i'll keep you all posted. but i am eager to change. even if that means leaving certain 'friends' behind...thanks all for the support.

artsoul

good to hear you're not giving up, lukejay. I hope things work out so that you can get the help you need. Really, none of us are able to do this with just willpower alone. I think it's great that you saw your doctor.

Keep posting - it's all about one alcoholic helping another, even when we're having a rocky time of it. :ghug3

lukejay

After showing my wife this thread from 11+ years ago, she said I should add to it in case it helps others.

Obviously there's too much to cover in 11 years in one post, but the outcome is positive, but has not been an 'easy' ride --then again, for those on here, whose ride has been easy?

Over the years, I have struggled with drinking on and off. Nothing as bad as my original post thankfully, but I've done my share of stupid things, including attempting to drive with my cat one night -- thankfully my wife put a stop to that. I had sworn off the drink so many times, and then hopped back on it when I felt better --although I was never daily drinking.

Thanks to the help of a *good* psychologist, psychiatrist, and family, I have managed to settle, and continue to drink, albeit at a sensible level.

I took a long time to work out why I acted up yearly, and went into fits of drinking, depression, anxiety and OCD.

I ended up having to confront a lot of child abuse I was exposed to as a child. I started drinking at 12, to feel better given the environment I was in, and needless to say, it's a difficult pattern to stop when you feel the relaxation at that age. This is where a good psychologist came in. I had seen others before that were particularly CBT / treat the symptom with a technique based, whereas my new one was also interested in my history. The last 3 or so I'd seen (regularly) never particularly asked about my childhood, and I took it for granted the physical abuse, and mental abuse I suffered for years was OK. Thankfully, EMDR, CBT, ACT and psychotherapy have all been tremendously helpful in settling me (although I still struggle with anxiety/OCD).

Secondly, I was also diagnosed with ADHD. This came after my son was diagnosed with it. I noticed all the same signs in myself, and after seeing a psychiatrist and trying stimulants, I noticed a strong reduction in needing to drink in order to settle myself. Again, it's not a perfect solution, as the stimulants can act up a bit with my anxiety, but overall it's much better.

So I guess this was my story. Sadly, our 20s can be an age where we do not know ourselves yet. Age has given me wisdom and hope. All this to say, I still struggle from day to day, and I am definitely not 'stable' all the time, and my journey of healing is not done yet. But I do not drink to oblivion anymore, and the knowledge I have now of who I am is truly settling. There's a quote I often think about from Marie Curie: . It has helped me in life so far.

I can only hope others on here at least find the semblance of peace I have found during their journey.

fishkiller

Welcome back Luke!

Maybe one day soon you can quit the booze completely.
I am sure that will help with a lot of your problems.

It did for me

Dee74

Good to hear from you Luke - I’m glad you had help to deal with some demons from the past and glad life is less chaotic than it used to be.

I am curious tho what you would call a sensible level of drinking?

D

DriGuy

That, My Friend, is an understatement, especially with the horror story that followed. I hope we can help.