BiggestScrewUp

I was getting really nostalgic the other day about drinking and it's made me hit a wall. I'm still not drinking. Just under 7 weeks now. **** it's hard.

Feeling depressed again.

julez

It IS hard. If it were easy, everyone would be recovering, and happy about it. Just remember this~ Everything worth doing, is worth working hard at. AND this one is my personal favorite, and you can use it in a lot of life situations. WHICHEVER IS THE HARDEST OPTION, IS USUALLY THE RIGHT OPTION.
Think of how EASY it would be to pick up a drink again. Think of how EASY it is to just give in, and let go of the fight. Its easier for me to clean my kitchen than make my kid do it, because then I'd have to sit and watch her and nag her to do it right. Is that right? No, she's gotta learn. Just keep that in mind.
7 weeks is great. I'm sorry you're feeling down right now. You've made it this far. A lot farther than I am in my sobriety. Don't give it up.

Kerbcrawler

Any consolation, just on 5 weeks again, nostalga holds nothing to me, however the sat night, missing out, feeling so out of the weekend drink scene hits home hard, and in all honesty has me crawling up the wall..almost..easing up a little now, the harsh reality of living a buzzfree 7 day sober week, requires the utmost mental strength just now...think it will ease up a little as the weeks chock up..its not easy at times for sure..though morrow morns will be xtra pleased for having restrained...luck to you too.

WatchTheSky

I miss it too! Thank you for admitting that. I feel like I'm supposed to see how much better my life is without it, and I do, but I get very nostalgic. Drinking is quite fun until it turns really bad! I think it's okay to reminisce about the good times a little bit.

Kmber2010

BSU - Well done on your sober time and glad you are sharing. Coming here when facing triggers or potential thoughts of drinking is an excellent step. You are using the tools available and SR is here to support and help you. We all get it.

What I will say is that I used to feel that way a long time ago but sadly the self destruction was so unbearable that there isn't one thing about alcohol I associate anything positive with anymore. I have only pain/shame when I look upon the wasted years that I drank.

Stay strong and add to your support. We need to make changes in our lifestyles and definitely change up our thinking in a positive way. I added face to face support along with SR and it has been tremendous for me.

least

I missed it at first, the first few weeks/months, but as I got more sober time under my belt I missed it less and less and now, at almost a year, I don't miss it at all. What I really missed was the 'escape', which it really isn't at all - it's a trap and at the end I was ready to chew my leg off to get out of it...

Congrats on your seven weeks! Keep on keepin' on... You're doing the right thing staying sober.

Dee74

I think nostalgia is a big factor everyone faces and needs to watch out for.

I can honestly say that nostalgia bought me undone more than anything else - wanting that drinking experience to be exactly like I (mis) remembered it, and me wanting to be the drinker that I know now I can never be.

It's like that old girlfriend - she was bad news, but you still miss her, still grieve her passing a little, even romanticise some aspects about her - until enough time passes and you realise how good your life is without her in it.

You're doing well BSU. 7 weeks is great.

Give yourself time - and remember past all those rosy good memories - focus on why you quit - read your old posts if you need reminding

D

LawMama

Great job on the 7 weeks. Nostalgia still sometimes hits me four months in, but it gets a lot better. My sponsor described it to me as a grieving process...for a long time, alcohol was my closest friend so I do grieve that loss. But sooner or later we will get to the level of acceptance and no longer miss it. Just keep going day by day and at some point you will experience the feeling of complete contentment being sober on a Friday night.

ChangeIsGood123

Sometimes I feel nostalgic too, but then I remember how nice its going to be to wake up tomorrow morning without a hangover. I love it and its wonderful to feel good.

SSIL75

I miss the anticipation of it but I don't miss the obsession that took hold one I started drinking (and often when I wasn't drinking!). Can I have another one? how many was that? Is that really her first drink still? Do I seem drunk? It's 10PM now I could have one more and then be asleep by 11 and then that gives me 7 hours sleep etc etc.

It was literally like having OCD. You know those people who turn on and off the lights 8 times or whatever? It reminds me of that kind of compulsion. Illogical and all consuming.

So, I don't miss that

Missymae737

Early recovery is most challenging...Just remember with each passing day, the urges get weaker and less in tense....
I have been sober over two years now but the very begginning I struggled...

Congrats on your sober time, You can do this!!!

Stang

My guts sure as hell don't miss it!

Isaiah

I get that way too. I just have to remind myself that I made a trade off. I have to tell myself that I didn't just quit to punish myself or do penance, but that the day I quit I was sure that it just wasn't worth it to me.

I was digging through some old stuff this afternoon and found a photo that a close friend and photography major took of me. It was me posing with a bottle of vodka. Funny, because at the time it was taken too I wasn't even much of a drinker. I thought about it and realized I'm just never going to be 23 again so what's the use?

Lilly03

I do miss drinking sometimes. It's funny how fast you can forget the bad times. I can't let myself forget all the things I missed because I was too sick and hungover - all the times I was miserable and didn't enjoy things I would otherwise enjoy. I miss the "escape", and sometimes I forget it's a dark hole of lost self control. It's crazy how deceiving it is. The disease tells me that it will be an escape, but really it's just me giving all my power over to the alcohol and disease. That's not freedom.

ChangeIsGood123

Oh and I forgot to mention that towards the end of my drinking, I was starting to black out pretty much each time. So its really hard to be nostalgic when you cant even remember about what?? :rotfxko

All kidding aside, I do know what ya mean. And it passes in time.

Saliena

I have been struggling for about 3 months now to stop and really stop. But, I have am working on it. Here is the thing... I don't miss the waking up and not remembering what I did the night before, I don't remember the shame, I don't remember wondering what I had done to my husband the night before, I miss anything at all about drinking.

Yes sometimes I think... "Oh I can do this and be like everyone else around me..." and I try... and guess what.. same experiance. Blackouts, horrible stories, sadness, hangover... and I know it isn't worth it. So, today I make the decision to not drink...

I am hopeful to make it to seven weeks.. keep it going.. you are doing awesome!

Saliena

artsoul

Hi BSU - I get that way sometimes when I think about friends going out and socializing.... However, I never stopped when they did - I never wanted to stop and go home. If I had to go home, I stopped to get more. It wasn't about the "pleasant buzz" - it was about drinking at an unhealthy level (to put it mildly).

I know that's it one or the other for me now: live and adjust to live as it is, or have my escape and pay for it in pain and misery.

Keep positive - it will get better!:ghug3

BiggestScrewUp

Thanks guys. Reading all these posts has really helped me a lot.

That's a good point Dee. I re-read a few and that's already stopped my thinking in its tracks...

eddie73

Im just a week behind you. I had one of those moments on fri nite as my workmates discussed nites out and fav bottles of wine etc. Just listening to them made it seem normal and I was convincing myself that it was a harmless option. I needed an extra aa meeting tonight to remind me of the bigger picture. So yes you are right, it is hard.