Outta Control
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
hello all
kind of hit a roadblock.. remember that loving gf that i broke up with mainly due to guilt from treating her poorly when drunk/hungover
On one hand...
well...Im conflicted....I knew I needed to end it to get my head on straight...needed time to myself.
On the other...
Now that i've had time to reflect she was right...it was my drinking that caused 99% of problems in the relationship.
How did you guys deal with this. ?
also, good luck to everyone this weekend!!!! i'm feeling good otherwise!
On one hand...
well...Im conflicted....I knew I needed to end it to get my head on straight...needed time to myself.
On the other...
Now that i've had time to reflect she was right...it was my drinking that caused 99% of problems in the relationship.
How did you guys deal with this. ?
also, good luck to everyone this weekend!!!! i'm feeling good otherwise!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I needed to end it to get my head on straight...needed time to myself.
I'd just keep working on yourself & your recovery for now - you'll be a better partner for it in your next relationship, whoever it's with
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
hello all
another successfull weekend!!!
Momentum going strong...
next on tap rebuilding/friendships and relationship.
To my previous comment...about the relationship...I made amends with her and we have scheduled a time each week to talk. I also called her mom and apologized for my behaviour with her daughter...felt good. Sry as i realize this isnt a relationship forum lol
I figured i would take the time to heal myself....remain in structured contact and then see whatever happens.
DRINKING = PAIN!!!!...when I remove the pain I have happineess!!
God bless alL!
Momentum going strong...
next on tap rebuilding/friendships and relationship.
To my previous comment...about the relationship...I made amends with her and we have scheduled a time each week to talk. I also called her mom and apologized for my behaviour with her daughter...felt good. Sry as i realize this isnt a relationship forum lol
I figured i would take the time to heal myself....remain in structured contact and then see whatever happens.
DRINKING = PAIN!!!!...when I remove the pain I have happineess!!
God bless alL!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
mckats: Congratulations! Glad you managed to get off that runaway train! If you're serious about retaining your sobriety, you may have to rethink your attachments to old drinking buddies. If you're not drinking this may make them feel uncomfortable and they may well urge you to resume your old ways. You may have to sacrifice friendships to keep off that runaway train. It's up to you. Good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
Agreed.... I actually have avoided them since i started this....well some of them anyway...thats actually gonna be a lot harder than i thought as i know realize how much of my social network was chosen by me to support my drinking
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
mckats:
This is one of the harder things about sobriety. As you said we tended to form our own social network to support our drinking life style. Unless there is some way of changing that and getting into a new network it lessens the chances of success. Because, for one thing, your former buddies will probably pressure you to continue in the old ways:" "Come on!" they'll say, "One drink won't do you any harm! Just one!"
If you really want long term recovery, this issue has to be dealt with. Some folks use AA as an alternate network. Others use other programs or some other social organization. Maybe others on this website can give you some suggestions about doing this.
W.
This is one of the harder things about sobriety. As you said we tended to form our own social network to support our drinking life style. Unless there is some way of changing that and getting into a new network it lessens the chances of success. Because, for one thing, your former buddies will probably pressure you to continue in the old ways:" "Come on!" they'll say, "One drink won't do you any harm! Just one!"
If you really want long term recovery, this issue has to be dealt with. Some folks use AA as an alternate network. Others use other programs or some other social organization. Maybe others on this website can give you some suggestions about doing this.
W.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
McKats:
I reread your Jan. 19 early afternoon post on this thread. Be very very careful. I'm so glad you've had some success in your recovery but you've only been doing that for a short time, sixty days you say. Suggest you talk with some other alcoholics. Ask them about the dangers of the "pink cloud" that folks sometimes get on in the early stage of recovery. I once heard a doctor describe this as the "flight into recovery". The body still remembers the booze and longs for it like an old racehorse smelling the track. And deep down it the brain is a very primitive area sometimes called the "lizard brain" or the "beast" which subconsciously influences the mind. It's a very dangerous period because you suddenly feel so much better physically that you tend to have a false sense of security. This makes you very vulnerable for a relapse. Just be careful. Get all the help you can with this and take it one step at a time.
W.
I reread your Jan. 19 early afternoon post on this thread. Be very very careful. I'm so glad you've had some success in your recovery but you've only been doing that for a short time, sixty days you say. Suggest you talk with some other alcoholics. Ask them about the dangers of the "pink cloud" that folks sometimes get on in the early stage of recovery. I once heard a doctor describe this as the "flight into recovery". The body still remembers the booze and longs for it like an old racehorse smelling the track. And deep down it the brain is a very primitive area sometimes called the "lizard brain" or the "beast" which subconsciously influences the mind. It's a very dangerous period because you suddenly feel so much better physically that you tend to have a false sense of security. This makes you very vulnerable for a relapse. Just be careful. Get all the help you can with this and take it one step at a time.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
Mrpainter thanks for the advice....hard to keep my head outta the clouds right now but gonna try to stay grounded and use this positive energy constructively
Thanks for the concern...i am gonna take those words to heart
Thanks for the concern...i am gonna take those words to heart
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: i tavel the u.s.a working
Posts: 4
my first post
Originally Posted by mckats 
Hello,
Not sure how typical my story is but i'll make it short and sweet.
-I'm a typical 26 yr old male with a good job and great family and friend network
-Father is an alcoholic but sober for 20 plus years
Problem is that I drink on weekends and get outta control. Got bottled last week at the bar, countless physical (although minor) and emotional abuses on friends and past girlfriends and essentially spending upwards of 200 dollars a night when partying, unprotected sex, etc etc
I rarely drink during the week but on weekends I start drinking and experience this mania where I party all night.
The next two days are hell - anxiety and depression rule over me buttt...come Wednesday-Thursday all I can think about is partying.
My identity and social network has been formulated around being the life of the party and I find it frightening to stop. When I think about stopping something inside interjects and tells me to fukkit and keep partying like a rockstar.
Cliffs:
-I know I need to quit drinking but cant seem to stop
-Starting to get suicidal when hung over
-I need to 'man up' but cant
M
Not sure how typical my story is but i'll make it short and sweet.
-I'm a typical 26 yr old male with a good job and great family and friend network
-Father is an alcoholic but sober for 20 plus years
Problem is that I drink on weekends and get outta control. Got bottled last week at the bar, countless physical (although minor) and emotional abuses on friends and past girlfriends and essentially spending upwards of 200 dollars a night when partying, unprotected sex, etc etc
I rarely drink during the week but on weekends I start drinking and experience this mania where I party all night.
The next two days are hell - anxiety and depression rule over me buttt...come Wednesday-Thursday all I can think about is partying.
My identity and social network has been formulated around being the life of the party and I find it frightening to stop. When I think about stopping something inside interjects and tells me to fukkit and keep partying like a rockstar.
Cliffs:
-I know I need to quit drinking but cant seem to stop
-Starting to get suicidal when hung over
-I need to 'man up' but cant
M
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
McKATS: Think of it like growing a tree. It takes quite a while and you have to have patience. But if you hang in there and stick with whatever program you're on and if you seek all the help you can get from others it works. It will work for you as it has for so many others. The growth rate starts out linear but gradually it seems to become exponential.
W.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
hello all
sober superbowl!~~
Energy levels and demeanor have been great...
taking better care of myself in general...eating/hygiene/ etc
let the good times roll....
Still have moments when I doubt what i'm doing but this forum and my journal at home help.
love the advice and support~!
thanks to all and god bless!
Energy levels and demeanor have been great...
taking better care of myself in general...eating/hygiene/ etc
let the good times roll....
Still have moments when I doubt what i'm doing but this forum and my journal at home help.
love the advice and support~!
thanks to all and god bless!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
one more thing.....
I've just re - read my journey...
For some reason I still have that 'seed' or addictive voice in my head saying moderation can work for you...but I re read my posts since the beginning...
and what a noticeable cycle of failure if i've seen one....calm/sober - confidence/moderation - drinking heavily/depression.
Totally clean and keeping it that way...
Sorry to everyone who told me moderation doesn't work at the beginning...but thanks, as i'll take it as a learning experience ;-)
I have associated massive amounts of pain to drinking...and i just cant forget why i'm doing this.
GLTA
I've just re - read my journey...
For some reason I still have that 'seed' or addictive voice in my head saying moderation can work for you...but I re read my posts since the beginning...
and what a noticeable cycle of failure if i've seen one....calm/sober - confidence/moderation - drinking heavily/depression.
Totally clean and keeping it that way...
Sorry to everyone who told me moderation doesn't work at the beginning...but thanks, as i'll take it as a learning experience ;-)
I have associated massive amounts of pain to drinking...and i just cant forget why i'm doing this.
GLTA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: toronto
Posts: 40
Hey all...
still going strong...with some roadblocks...but still sober..
its amazing how many other issues rise to the surface once you clean up
-money, workplace, relationships, anxiety, to name a few.
Either way taking it slow and glta!!!
still going strong...with some roadblocks...but still sober..
its amazing how many other issues rise to the surface once you clean up
-money, workplace, relationships, anxiety, to name a few.
Either way taking it slow and glta!!!
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