Day 1
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Congrats on your decision not to drink. My past experiences did nothing to help me quit drinking. I would always forget the horror of my drinking experiences and remember the few times I got temporary relief and drink again, each time winding up much worse off.
Seek help, very few of us can do this alone. I discovered that when I asked for help lots was available and engaging in a program of recovery made all the difference in the world.
Let us know how you are doing.
Seek help, very few of us can do this alone. I discovered that when I asked for help lots was available and engaging in a program of recovery made all the difference in the world.
Let us know how you are doing.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Good luck to you Stuart. I found out my past experiences didn't help me all that much though. I'd tried to moderate and slow down before but each new attempt didn't yield any different results than the past times I tried.
When I read the AA book I found a part that sure hit home for me and gave me the motivation I needed to try something other than relying on my iron will and the memory of the pains of my past:
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with significant force the memory of the suffering and and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
--
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self -knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.
That warned me to look back in my past and see if my will-power had been successful before...... While I'd had very minor "triumphs" I wasn't uniformly successful. Then there was that warning about those "mental blank spots" where all my knowledge just wasn't going to be available to me. ...I looked back and saw that I'd had them before.....right before I started the next bender that I promised myself that I wasn't going to start. As I was picking up....all that old pain and misery was nowhere on my mind - I was focused on the certain happy times ahead.
I'm not trying to discourage you.....I'm just suggesting you look into your past, your reality, and see of what you're trying now is just MORE of what you've tried (unsuccessfully) before?
Like I said, I'd tried to slow down.....to moderate......before but couldn't stick with the program for long. I didn't need a more powerful version of an old, non-working plan....... I needed a whole new plan. Truthfully, I needed a plan that would keep me from ever even THINKING about another drink because if I think about it long enough, it would start to make sense.....and once it made sense, all my motivation to stop is gone.
When I read the AA book I found a part that sure hit home for me and gave me the motivation I needed to try something other than relying on my iron will and the memory of the pains of my past:
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with significant force the memory of the suffering and and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
--
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self -knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.
That warned me to look back in my past and see if my will-power had been successful before...... While I'd had very minor "triumphs" I wasn't uniformly successful. Then there was that warning about those "mental blank spots" where all my knowledge just wasn't going to be available to me. ...I looked back and saw that I'd had them before.....right before I started the next bender that I promised myself that I wasn't going to start. As I was picking up....all that old pain and misery was nowhere on my mind - I was focused on the certain happy times ahead.
I'm not trying to discourage you.....I'm just suggesting you look into your past, your reality, and see of what you're trying now is just MORE of what you've tried (unsuccessfully) before?
Like I said, I'd tried to slow down.....to moderate......before but couldn't stick with the program for long. I didn't need a more powerful version of an old, non-working plan....... I needed a whole new plan. Truthfully, I needed a plan that would keep me from ever even THINKING about another drink because if I think about it long enough, it would start to make sense.....and once it made sense, all my motivation to stop is gone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Good for you Stuart! I didn't have any kind of plan the day I decided to never drink again, 1 of my sisters kept badgering me with "what are you going to do you need a plan you need a plan!" I haven't really spoken to her since cause that just annoyed the heck out of me....When I decided to never drink again it had already been a week since I had drank and then it was another week or maybe 2 before I went to an AA meeting when I was ready...meetings were not for me but the guidance I received from the AA book and the steps gave me "a plan", nothing formal just what worked for me, and it's worked for over 3 yrs. You can succeed.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
My journey to sobriety was kicked off by a kind of health detox thing I did. A 'clean eating' 3 week thing with no alcohol. I suggested it to my husband when I was drunk and then kind of had to do it because he was into it.
I didn't stay sober but the brief exposure to living sober was enough to give me a taste of it. I kept trying and trying until I found something that worked (namely, realizing that I could not manage alcohol anymore. I had to take it off my list of possibilities forever).
I'm saying all this just to say that sometimes we get a whiff of something and that experience is enough to keep us going. I find Rational Recovery concepts very helpful, too.
I guess what I mean is, a love of sobriety might keep you sober where a fear of alcoholism may not.
I hope you find something to keep you on track!
I didn't stay sober but the brief exposure to living sober was enough to give me a taste of it. I kept trying and trying until I found something that worked (namely, realizing that I could not manage alcohol anymore. I had to take it off my list of possibilities forever).
I'm saying all this just to say that sometimes we get a whiff of something and that experience is enough to keep us going. I find Rational Recovery concepts very helpful, too.
I guess what I mean is, a love of sobriety might keep you sober where a fear of alcoholism may not.
I hope you find something to keep you on track!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 36
Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate your comments.
I do need a plan, and I suppose it should be in place by now! As I've said in my original thread, the counseller my GP referred me to did not advocate quitting completely. I don't beleive cutting down can work so these are my options as I see it:-
1. Go back to GP/counseller and request a different programme
2. Try an AA group
3. 'Go it alone' alebit with you guys here on SR
I will be giving this plenty of thought!
I do need a plan, and I suppose it should be in place by now! As I've said in my original thread, the counseller my GP referred me to did not advocate quitting completely. I don't beleive cutting down can work so these are my options as I see it:-
1. Go back to GP/counseller and request a different programme
2. Try an AA group
3. 'Go it alone' alebit with you guys here on SR
I will be giving this plenty of thought!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hey Suart!
Welcome back! SR is such a great resource. Looking forward to having you aboard. Living sober is so worth whatever you have to do to get there. For me it's like a new lease on life. Looks like you already learned something from your first try...what doesn't work:-)
Welcome back! SR is such a great resource. Looking forward to having you aboard. Living sober is so worth whatever you have to do to get there. For me it's like a new lease on life. Looks like you already learned something from your first try...what doesn't work:-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 226
Hi, Stuart!
Happy to see you posted a new thread. This CAN be your last day one. You've received loads of good advice and guidance, and I know you have plenty to think about as you begin this journey. Jump in with both feet. Keep an open mind. You will do great. Even when you start to feel anxious/depressed, know that we have all been there, and we're here WITH you as you "trudge the road to happy destiny."
Congratulations on Day One!
Happy to see you posted a new thread. This CAN be your last day one. You've received loads of good advice and guidance, and I know you have plenty to think about as you begin this journey. Jump in with both feet. Keep an open mind. You will do great. Even when you start to feel anxious/depressed, know that we have all been there, and we're here WITH you as you "trudge the road to happy destiny."
Congratulations on Day One!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Stuart welcome back!
You make it easy by seeing that you can't keep doing the same things you did last time that did not work. How about a shotgun approach and go back and tell the counselor that won't work, also try a few AA meetings enough to get to know the group. And hang out here. There are more secular groups and one was already mentioned, try them too!
Then you can drop what does not work for you. and that is the ultimate deciding factor, what works for you.
I do two AA meetings a week, and then here every day learning and passing on what I can and have learned. Besides keeping busy keeps you away from stinkin thinkin.
A good analogy is a job search. If you are seeking a good position you don't pin all your hopes on one application. And if that does not pan out give up right? You apply to numerous places, maybe float a resume online, perhaps also register with an employment agency, network, talk to friends etc. In other words you don't put all your eggs in one basket and that takes a lot of work and shoe leather. I did the same for getting sober. I made up my mind, went an in hospital detox, a follow up program that did not work for me at all, that was 28 days and I quit in 2, and then checked out AA which I was determined was not going to be for me, and here, and counseling. I hhave 50 days, and am working on me as much as my alcoholism and life is getting pretty good. Oh I have had a few bumps from life, lost some family members, not to booze, and got through it like any sober person (which I am but one day at a time.) But I did not get through any of that alone, or by limiting myself to what I thought was not scary, not for me, or would commit me with no backing out once I started, all that while still only partly healed from the damage the alcohol has done over years. I have 50 days today and still itch from dry skin, stay up too late, have become addicted to mints and sugar probably from quitting smoking at the same time.
I figure six months to a year before I am physically over the physical adjustments to not drinking or smoking.
So do it all, drop what does not work for you after really giving each a try and you will have the best shot at recovery only if with all that you take it one day at a time.
You make it easy by seeing that you can't keep doing the same things you did last time that did not work. How about a shotgun approach and go back and tell the counselor that won't work, also try a few AA meetings enough to get to know the group. And hang out here. There are more secular groups and one was already mentioned, try them too!
Then you can drop what does not work for you. and that is the ultimate deciding factor, what works for you.
I do two AA meetings a week, and then here every day learning and passing on what I can and have learned. Besides keeping busy keeps you away from stinkin thinkin.
A good analogy is a job search. If you are seeking a good position you don't pin all your hopes on one application. And if that does not pan out give up right? You apply to numerous places, maybe float a resume online, perhaps also register with an employment agency, network, talk to friends etc. In other words you don't put all your eggs in one basket and that takes a lot of work and shoe leather. I did the same for getting sober. I made up my mind, went an in hospital detox, a follow up program that did not work for me at all, that was 28 days and I quit in 2, and then checked out AA which I was determined was not going to be for me, and here, and counseling. I hhave 50 days, and am working on me as much as my alcoholism and life is getting pretty good. Oh I have had a few bumps from life, lost some family members, not to booze, and got through it like any sober person (which I am but one day at a time.) But I did not get through any of that alone, or by limiting myself to what I thought was not scary, not for me, or would commit me with no backing out once I started, all that while still only partly healed from the damage the alcohol has done over years. I have 50 days today and still itch from dry skin, stay up too late, have become addicted to mints and sugar probably from quitting smoking at the same time.
I figure six months to a year before I am physically over the physical adjustments to not drinking or smoking.
So do it all, drop what does not work for you after really giving each a try and you will have the best shot at recovery only if with all that you take it one day at a time.
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