sassypantz

I've known for a very long time that I am an alcoholic. I've tried numerous times to cut back and/or quit drinking. The company I have worked for for 9 years is downsizing and I will be laid off in January. I'm afraid of what I will do with myself when I don't have a job to go to. I want to drink all day. I want to fall to pieces and stay in a murky haze of confusion. Not sure how I can go about abstaining when I really don't want to, but I figured I ought to start building a foundation of sober-minded friends to help.

GreenAces

Welcome, if you want information on programs to sobriety than you are definitely in the right place!

Spirit08

Yea, I used to drink all day too! 2 years sober now! AA is the easier, softer way!

Good luck to you and blessings,

sassypantz

Thank you all for the encouragement - and so quick after my post! I'm glad to hear that it is okay to still want to drink. For some reason I feel inherently doomed unless I am disgusted by booze. Maybe that will come later, after some distance has been placed between myself and that poison.
I am very much going to miss "escaping". Drinking and playing video games was an instant method of retreating out of life and my worries.

Dee74

Hi sassypantz

Welcome

As someone who drank all day everyday for about 7 years, trust me - it's not something you want to try.

At. all.

That I'm here to talk to you about it is a minor miracle really.
Do all you can to make a better future for yourself, and do it now SP

D

Itchy

Sassy I was a night time drinker of at least a six pack after work, I thought I had it under control and then I retired again. Two years ago. I did indeed start to drink all day and thought nothing of it, and spaced it out so I wasn't stumbling or slurring but in the last six months it was much worse. It is never easy to quit. Like you I didn't feel that my drinking was an issue. I didn't hide it holding a beer in hand in the early morning when I had a repair person over etc. Then it got very bad very fast, and, had I not quit, I am convinced I would be dead by my own hand lifting drinks to deny the trouble I was in from lifting drinks. I don't apologize for my drinking, can't change the past, but I had to make a choice, literally life or death. Seems I caught it in time. Hope you do too. For some, it takes some pretty ugly experiences before they accept that for them, drinking is not alright, or even possible at all. But again that is your decision. It's not like we all haven't been there.
Coming here is agreat step. Please read and decide for yourself what you want to do, and more importantly what you need to do. We'll be here rooting for ya!

Hooped

Hi there Sassy.
Im only on day one myself but it has been a very ugly journey to get to this point.
My drinking got worse and worse as the years went by in a haze untill I got to the point where if I could I would just drinki all day and all night, more and more.
Its like the booze seemed to have little effect on me anymore, I could have drank a bottle of vodka and people would think I was completely sober. Weird.
But the worst part of it is what it is doing to my brain.
I kind of feel like Im losing my mind and this is no way to live.
So quit while you can Sassy. You don't want to end up like me, believe me.

Itchy

Hooped!
Same here! No one thought I was drinking as much as I was as my tolerance was so high that I appeared sober. And no blackouts or bad behaviors, and I didn't drink or drive so no legal hassles. It is amazing how much some of us can tolerate and how high the tolerance gets, despite feeling like we are dying internally and sick physically as well as mentally!

I am about day 50 but I'll be here along with the rest, so for you Hooped . .

least

But when you're done drinking your life and your worries are still there... along with the worries that drinking brings. Give it up for good while you still can. It gets worse, ya know, never better. I gave it up - finally - 11 months ago and am living a better life than I'd ever thought possible. So can you.

stellaloella

I relate to your post. Nothing makes me want to drink more than boredom and difficult circumstances. I'm going through some bad things right now and it's all I can do to not walk to the new liquor store that was built a block away. However, it creates so much turmoil in my life that I can't. I hope you can find a good support system before the loss of your job. I'm glad you're here. We all need support from others, that's for sure.