How do you get excited about life again?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 80
How do you get excited about life again?
Seriously friends, how do you do it? Without pills/drugs I just drag myself through my day without any enjoyment whatsoever. I go to bed as soon as my kids do and when I get up I switch on the auto-pilot and that's it. No feelings, no excitement, no laughing OR crying, no nothing. Just auto-pilot Amie. How do you get those feelings back??? It's been 7 months, with one relapse pretty recently, but only for a few days. I'm ready to start feeling again. I go to meetings and stuff, but I still feel like a zombie all the time. What am I doing wrong???
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Do you have any hobbies/other interests outside of work and family? Since I quit drinking I find that I don't have enough hours in the day to enjoy the hobbies that I've re-discovered.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Talk to your doctor! Some SSRI's might help. Do you have a history of depression?
Do you exercise? Have a social life with non-users? Eat well? Get enough sunshine? I find fish oil helpful for my depression, too.
I guess I'm asking if you have things in your life to be happy about
Do you fee like you CAN'T enjoy things that should be enjoyable? Or are you just stuck in that zone where you're not using but you're not living, either? I guess the two aren't mutally exclusive... just I've done both and I know they are rotten places to be 
Do you exercise? Have a social life with non-users? Eat well? Get enough sunshine? I find fish oil helpful for my depression, too.
I guess I'm asking if you have things in your life to be happy about
Do you fee like you CAN'T enjoy things that should be enjoyable? Or are you just stuck in that zone where you're not using but you're not living, either? I guess the two aren't mutally exclusive... just I've done both and I know they are rotten places to be dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
i cultivated a relationship with a higher power of my understanding through meditation, prayer, and service to others.
exercise and laughter helped a lot early on as well, but it has been the spiritual component that has proven to be key for me. at first i was void of feelings and emotion, but with a little time and practice it was as if i was looking out into the world with new eyes, for the first time ever. may you find it, whatever it may be for you!
exercise and laughter helped a lot early on as well, but it has been the spiritual component that has proven to be key for me. at first i was void of feelings and emotion, but with a little time and practice it was as if i was looking out into the world with new eyes, for the first time ever. may you find it, whatever it may be for you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 80
I don't have any hobbies because I don't like to do anything, honestly. And I'm on house arrest currently...long story short I spent a few months in a prison-run treatment facility for my addiction. I take Zoloft, and have tried others. I have upped the dosage to no avail. I'm telling you all, I don't like anything and don't like to do anything. That's my problem, I can't get excited about anything.
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
Ok, you've identified the problem. So what's the solution? "can't get excited about anything" is pretty dang vague. How about trying some new things and finding out if you can get excited about them. As they say, willingness is measured by your feet. Sometimes you have to "just do it" and let the results just take care of themselves.
I don't know you, but i don't believe that you "don't like to do anything." You seem to just be in a rough place. But it will change. Everything changes. That's the only constant in life.
But one thing i know for certain, if i keep doing the same things i get the same results. The universe is simple like that.
I don't know you, but i don't believe that you "don't like to do anything." You seem to just be in a rough place. But it will change. Everything changes. That's the only constant in life.
But one thing i know for certain, if i keep doing the same things i get the same results. The universe is simple like that.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
It's not what you're doing wrong now, it's what you did wrong while drinking/drugging.
It's gonna take sometime (in my experience). Gonna take some work on your part to be able to have new thoughts, new ideas, new actions that aren't created from an instant synthentic (fill in the blank).
I'm almost 11 months sober and I still feel pain, awkwardness, and just blah....
...but it is getting better. I see and feel it working, but for me, it's been a slow process.
Trust in that process. (and AA works wonders for me - gives me a design for living where I don't rely on drugs and alcohol to do my thinking for me).
Kjell
It's gonna take sometime (in my experience). Gonna take some work on your part to be able to have new thoughts, new ideas, new actions that aren't created from an instant synthentic (fill in the blank).
I'm almost 11 months sober and I still feel pain, awkwardness, and just blah....
...but it is getting better. I see and feel it working, but for me, it's been a slow process.
Trust in that process. (and AA works wonders for me - gives me a design for living where I don't rely on drugs and alcohol to do my thinking for me).
Kjell
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Amie, I barely left my house the first year or so that I was sober other than to go to work or walk my dog, I had no interest in anything or anyone. During the first 1+ yrs I read/watched everything I could find on addiction/recovery as well as reading on spiritual awareness and guidance. I don't remember when it happened but at some point I started having interests in the world and now I can get excited practically just watching grass grow. Just taking anti-depressants or just going to meetings isn't going to make you recover and be alive again you have to work at it, I believe our bodies heal a whole lot quicker than our minds and souls.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 316
I think this would be something worth talking about with your doctor. Of course I can't diagnose you with depression, but it might be an issue for you. Personally, I found that properly treating my bipolar disorder is helping my recovery tremendously. Aside from chemical factors, are you trying sober activities with sober people? I'm told there are plenty of sober activities that can eventually be fun. You might have to force yourself to go out and do things. Is there anyone available to watch your kids sometimes so you can go out and spend time with other adults?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 74
What helps me get through life is how I look at the world, and boys LOL I find if I focus on my friends and meeting new people (boys especially) then I don't have time to obsess about the bad things I used to consume.
The way you view the world has a lot of influence on how you experience life. Sure my **** still isn't together but instead of dwelling on it and seeing it as negative I try and see the GOOD that's in my life and then I notice all the good around me...look up the Secret and laws of attraction. I am a firm believer that we create our own reality...and how we think about life affects how we experience it.
The way you view the world has a lot of influence on how you experience life. Sure my **** still isn't together but instead of dwelling on it and seeing it as negative I try and see the GOOD that's in my life and then I notice all the good around me...look up the Secret and laws of attraction. I am a firm believer that we create our own reality...and how we think about life affects how we experience it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Took me a while too... especially since my pills of choice were stimulants, jeez, they could make the most mundane routine tasks, outings, books, music... seem exciting. And now, well, it's not the same, but it's more real and meaningful, and others can share in it, before it was kinda my own private idaho...
But my experience with this exact issue was that underlying all of this I had a lot of resentment... though I was not under house arrest, I have had a lot if external forces brought to bear and I was accountable to others... That resentment affected my pride, affected my independence... the resentment was so pervasive I couldn't see it at first... Once I properly inventoried this I began to make progress... took a little longer than 7 months
...
You say you go to meetings, 12 step? If so, try to inventory this a little, might help. Also, maybe zoloft is not the right choice, talk to your physician...
It gets better, it really does... get recovered, get this house arrest thing done, start moving forward again.
Mark
But my experience with this exact issue was that underlying all of this I had a lot of resentment... though I was not under house arrest, I have had a lot if external forces brought to bear and I was accountable to others... That resentment affected my pride, affected my independence... the resentment was so pervasive I couldn't see it at first... Once I properly inventoried this I began to make progress... took a little longer than 7 months
...You say you go to meetings, 12 step? If so, try to inventory this a little, might help. Also, maybe zoloft is not the right choice, talk to your physician...
It gets better, it really does... get recovered, get this house arrest thing done, start moving forward again.
Mark
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I'm an alcoholic like described in AA's Big Book. When not drinking, my external problems improved. I wasn't getting arrested, I wasn't throwing up blood every morning, I wasn't 'in trouble' at home or at my job, etc. But the internal feelings of discomfort and restlessness and boredom and a general feeling that life just sucked only got worse for me when not drinking. Internally, I was worse off not drinking than drinking.
There is no promise in either AA's or NA's program of recovery that says going to meetings will solve that internal problem.
There is a huge promise that following the program of recovery (a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 Steps) will solve the internal problem and much more.
I had to get desperately into action at taking the Steps before that magic happened. More was required then just hanging around sober people and not drinking. Much, much more. It required more power than I had.
The result has been a life beyond my dreams.
Originally Posted by kissmeimamie 
I go to meetings and stuff, but I still feel like a zombie all the time.
There is a huge promise that following the program of recovery (a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 Steps) will solve the internal problem and much more.
I had to get desperately into action at taking the Steps before that magic happened. More was required then just hanging around sober people and not drinking. Much, much more. It required more power than I had.
The result has been a life beyond my dreams.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3
Here's a really concrete suggestion...
First of all, it's _known_ that exercise can make people feel better when almost nothing else can. Even if it's only for the duration of the exercise (which is my case).
But exercise can be a real drag.
So if you can afford it (total cost shouldn't be more than about $250): Go out and buy Dance Dance Revolution. Get one of the "good" game pads (about $80), and the DDR 2 the Max version. Be prepared for some early frustration, as you do things "wrong" and learn how to do them "right".
But back when I was doing this, I could spend an hour of hard exercise, and hardly realize the time went buy.
It gets better. You can buy a second pad and invite friends over for socials and competitions.
I don't do this anymore because there are too many painful memories tied up in it for me--back when I still had a wife, and we had an active social life. But there's no reason you shouldn't enjoy it.
If you're in doubt, collect $20 in quarters and visit your local arcade and see what it feels like.
Hope this helps,
ykk
But exercise can be a real drag.
So if you can afford it (total cost shouldn't be more than about $250): Go out and buy Dance Dance Revolution. Get one of the "good" game pads (about $80), and the DDR 2 the Max version. Be prepared for some early frustration, as you do things "wrong" and learn how to do them "right".
But back when I was doing this, I could spend an hour of hard exercise, and hardly realize the time went buy.
It gets better. You can buy a second pad and invite friends over for socials and competitions.
I don't do this anymore because there are too many painful memories tied up in it for me--back when I still had a wife, and we had an active social life. But there's no reason you shouldn't enjoy it.
If you're in doubt, collect $20 in quarters and visit your local arcade and see what it feels like.
Hope this helps,
ykk
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Amie!
I definitely felt like a zombie at first too...which I wasn't expecting, I thought I'd quit and boom everything would be hunky dory...lol:-) Unfortunately my body and mind needed lots of healing from all the crap I had foisted on them over the years. So I've been letting my body heal and working on my personal demons and guess what, the fog is lifting.
From what I've seen here, getting better requires work and time and everyone is a little different so don't be too hard on yourself that it hasn't happened yet (but you got to do the work, ok?).
That said, Yoga can be done at home (get a CD if you haven't tried it yet) and it is great both physically and spiritually. Same with meditation. My friend who just had 15 years over the weekend does Bikram 6 days a week and meditates daily:-)
I definitely felt like a zombie at first too...which I wasn't expecting, I thought I'd quit and boom everything would be hunky dory...lol:-) Unfortunately my body and mind needed lots of healing from all the crap I had foisted on them over the years. So I've been letting my body heal and working on my personal demons and guess what, the fog is lifting.
From what I've seen here, getting better requires work and time and everyone is a little different so don't be too hard on yourself that it hasn't happened yet (but you got to do the work, ok?).
That said, Yoga can be done at home (get a CD if you haven't tried it yet) and it is great both physically and spiritually. Same with meditation. My friend who just had 15 years over the weekend does Bikram 6 days a week and meditates daily:-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Change inside which i found impossible to do alone...AA worked for me after lots of tries with lots of different methods...before that if you talked to me about hobbies and interests and interest in life i just wasnt interested...
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