Coming to terms
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cheltenham
Posts: 6
Coming to terms
Hi there, I've joined this site today after celebrating my 32nd birthday yesterday. I vowed that the year leading upto my 33rd birthday will not be the same catalogue of drunken errors as previous years.
I first realised that I had a problem with alcohol 2 years ago, I was married, got drunk blacked out for roughly 3 hours came too in the company of another man, I had no idea how the situation had come about and to this day still don't. That incident scared me enough to stay clear of alcohol at least for 30 days, then my confidence returned and with it a voice telling me I can drink in moderation, it lied!.
And so for the next two years I have cut down considerably I can go two weeks without a drink, then I think I can moderate so I have a glass of wine, then the bottle and I can't stop till I am well and truely plastered, sometimes I black out and sometimes I don't.
What I do find incredible is that even as I type this, there is still a part of me that thinks I don't have a problem thats the side that I need to beat!
Thank you all so much for reading x
I first realised that I had a problem with alcohol 2 years ago, I was married, got drunk blacked out for roughly 3 hours came too in the company of another man, I had no idea how the situation had come about and to this day still don't. That incident scared me enough to stay clear of alcohol at least for 30 days, then my confidence returned and with it a voice telling me I can drink in moderation, it lied!.
And so for the next two years I have cut down considerably I can go two weeks without a drink, then I think I can moderate so I have a glass of wine, then the bottle and I can't stop till I am well and truely plastered, sometimes I black out and sometimes I don't.
What I do find incredible is that even as I type this, there is still a part of me that thinks I don't have a problem thats the side that I need to beat!
Thank you all so much for reading x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi and Welcome,
It's amazing how the addict-voice can convince us that things are okay. Denial is such a big part of addiction.
I'm glad that you found us and that you have decided to live a sober life.
It's amazing how the addict-voice can convince us that things are okay. Denial is such a big part of addiction.
I'm glad that you found us and that you have decided to live a sober life.
Kristin
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 77
Hey Hun!!! So glad you joined the site. Reading your posts reminds me of ME at points in my life. I remember when I turned 26 and my Grandmother called crying I said why are you crying its my bday. She said "I really didn't think you would make it to 26...i thought i would have to bury my granddaughter"
well, it feels good today to call my grandmother and have a real conversation instead of calling drunk and not remembering even what i talked about........3 in the morning.
KEEP YOUR SOBRIETY FIRST TO MAKE IT LAST
muah
well, it feels good today to call my grandmother and have a real conversation instead of calling drunk and not remembering even what i talked about........3 in the morning.
KEEP YOUR SOBRIETY FIRST TO MAKE IT LAST
muah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cheltenham
Posts: 6
Thank you all so much, I know I need to stop, the blackouts when they happen are serious I am still functioning walking, talking etc but I have no idea what I'm doing and no recollection of my actions, the blackous could last for hours. I have a gut feeling that one day some thing horrendous is going to happen somehing that I can't hide away from. At the moment I have a home, succesful career, gorgeous daughter, my husband and I seperated not because of my alcohol problem, I know that all it will take is for me to black out and maybe try to cook a meal, god forbid, makes me sick to think about all the things that could happen
Thanks again for your responses
xx
Thanks again for your responses
xx
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hey Starlett,
Glad you're here. I always love to see new people arriving because this site was a huge help for me. Great information and inspiration.
About the feelings that maybe you don't have a problem, don't let them phase you. No matter how committed any of us are those thoughts are always there.
Glad you're here. I always love to see new people arriving because this site was a huge help for me. Great information and inspiration.
About the feelings that maybe you don't have a problem, don't let them phase you. No matter how committed any of us are those thoughts are always there.
I'm glad you've decided to live a sober life. It's worth the effort it takes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 76
Hi, I am on day 3 here and I totally understand the blackout thing, so scary.
It's amazing though how different but how the same we all are. Men, women, old or young, from all different parts of the world but we can all totally relate and support each other. This site is a god send.
It's amazing though how different but how the same we all are. Men, women, old or young, from all different parts of the world but we can all totally relate and support each other. This site is a god send.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Welcome Starlett, and thanks for joining us! I found this site and AA 7 months ago. Haven't had a drink since.
I know how you feel with the blackouts. I had them frequently, at least a couple times a week the last few years of my drinking. Luckily I was usually at home once the blackouts began, so I wasn't in a position of being around females who were not my fiancee. But I've left things cooking, had entire conversations, sent horribly embarrassing emails, even driven home a few times while blacked out. It's not good to not remember of have control over the things we do. So glad I no longer wake up with that feeling of dread and fear over what I did or may have done the night before.
There are so many great people here with lifetimes of experience and support to share with you. I hope you'll take full advantage of this wonderful site that works wonders in the lives of so many who are struggling.
I know how you feel with the blackouts. I had them frequently, at least a couple times a week the last few years of my drinking. Luckily I was usually at home once the blackouts began, so I wasn't in a position of being around females who were not my fiancee. But I've left things cooking, had entire conversations, sent horribly embarrassing emails, even driven home a few times while blacked out. It's not good to not remember of have control over the things we do. So glad I no longer wake up with that feeling of dread and fear over what I did or may have done the night before.
There are so many great people here with lifetimes of experience and support to share with you. I hope you'll take full advantage of this wonderful site that works wonders in the lives of so many who are struggling.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome Starlett!
Good decision and this is a great place. I do AA twice a week, and today was my meeting day which was terrific. But I read here every day and sometimes far into the night, and it is terrific too. I had to do detox in hospital and quit smoking and drinking for much the same reasons you have. With my friends here and on this website I have made it to day 47.
One thing I am realizing that I never see mentioned. Regardless of the past decades of drinking, I have thus far not just made it 47 days without drinking, but something amazing is taking place without me realizing it. I am slowly replacing my past with a new past. A sober, loving, relatively calm past that is now 47 days old that I can actually be proud of. I have let go of that other life. In a few years I won't even remember that other past, because I will have this new past I am creating one day at a time. A new past I can remember with a smile, and maybe some losses and hurts along the way like any well lived life, without my being the cause of the short lived curves that life will throw us.
Make yourself a new past today.
Good decision and this is a great place. I do AA twice a week, and today was my meeting day which was terrific. But I read here every day and sometimes far into the night, and it is terrific too. I had to do detox in hospital and quit smoking and drinking for much the same reasons you have. With my friends here and on this website I have made it to day 47.
One thing I am realizing that I never see mentioned. Regardless of the past decades of drinking, I have thus far not just made it 47 days without drinking, but something amazing is taking place without me realizing it. I am slowly replacing my past with a new past. A sober, loving, relatively calm past that is now 47 days old that I can actually be proud of. I have let go of that other life. In a few years I won't even remember that other past, because I will have this new past I am creating one day at a time. A new past I can remember with a smile, and maybe some losses and hurts along the way like any well lived life, without my being the cause of the short lived curves that life will throw us.
Make yourself a new past today.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum! It was hard for me to see how much of a problem I had too - I figured I was still functioning, wasn't hurting anyone, etc.....
Once I got sober, though, I began to realize I was much sicker than I thought. Blackout drinking is so dangerous, too, that it's a real problem just by itself. I'm glad you want to turn things around. If we can do it, so can you!
Once I got sober, though, I began to realize I was much sicker than I thought. Blackout drinking is so dangerous, too, that it's a real problem just by itself. I'm glad you want to turn things around. If we can do it, so can you!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
