Satuarday Morning Almost 4AM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Satuarday Morning Almost 4AM
Good Morning SR!
I woke up around 2AM this morning and was unable to return to sleep. (The main reason is that I have an interview in Seattle on Wednesday and I am way STRESSING!!)... but, back to my inability to return to sleep... as I lay in bed.. I tossed and I turned... and I tossed some more. I got up I went down stairs... I stressed some more on the interview I have.
But, you know what I didn't do? I didn't drink... and you know what is more amazing? It was 2AM on a Sat and I hadn't drank the night before. In my life I have woken up so many times thinking right away "WTF what did I do last night... who will I have to say I am sorry to? Am I in jail? Why aren't I in jail? How did I get home? Did I get in a fight? Who is in bed beside me?"
Yes I have had all those questions as lots more at 2AM on a Saturday... but, guess what? This morning I just woke up stressing about a great job that I am interviewing in ... in a great city on the other side of the USA then Atlanta...
You know what? I would much rather stress the job (our countless other things) at 2AM on a Sat morning.
I discovered one thing this morning... I only hate the decision to drink because of the consequences it brings my life... I never hate the decision to not drink and stay in my right mind. I actually love that decision.
Thanks for listening... maybe now I can go back to bed?
Saliena
I woke up around 2AM this morning and was unable to return to sleep. (The main reason is that I have an interview in Seattle on Wednesday and I am way STRESSING!!)... but, back to my inability to return to sleep... as I lay in bed.. I tossed and I turned... and I tossed some more. I got up I went down stairs... I stressed some more on the interview I have.
But, you know what I didn't do? I didn't drink... and you know what is more amazing? It was 2AM on a Sat and I hadn't drank the night before. In my life I have woken up so many times thinking right away "WTF what did I do last night... who will I have to say I am sorry to? Am I in jail? Why aren't I in jail? How did I get home? Did I get in a fight? Who is in bed beside me?"
Yes I have had all those questions as lots more at 2AM on a Saturday... but, guess what? This morning I just woke up stressing about a great job that I am interviewing in ... in a great city on the other side of the USA then Atlanta...
You know what? I would much rather stress the job (our countless other things) at 2AM on a Sat morning.
I discovered one thing this morning... I only hate the decision to drink because of the consequences it brings my life... I never hate the decision to not drink and stay in my right mind. I actually love that decision.
Thanks for listening... maybe now I can go back to bed?
Saliena
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I can relate! My son woke me up the other night for water. It was 1am and my husband was out of town (huge trigger for me, would usually have been plastered). So I got up and got him water and went back to bed.
No frantic gulping of coke or juice. No eating advil. No freezing grip of panic and remorse.
I don't know why it feels so miraculous to me that I am enjoying sobriety as much as I am.
Congrats to you and GL at your interview!
No frantic gulping of coke or juice. No eating advil. No freezing grip of panic and remorse.
I don't know why it feels so miraculous to me that I am enjoying sobriety as much as I am.
Congrats to you and GL at your interview!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
not drink and stay in my right mind. I actually love that decision
Every sober day is a miracle to me, full of opportunities. And waking up, whatever time, sober and happy is another miracle! Good luck on your interview.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Hi Saliena.
Yes, the shift in thinking was not only a relief for me, but it became better and better as time went on. I stopped hating the disease and its consequences as it became more and more irrelevant in my life.....and began simply loving living in the solution. Maintaining spiritual fitness became a constant joy in my life.
As for stress...something I found that helped enormously is being willing to leave the result to my HP. I do the best I can, attempt to do the most loving thing, and strive to quiet my expectations and my need to control the outcomes. For me, this makes my life a constant, exciting (but serene) adventure, relatively stress free.
You'll do just fine on the interview, and the results will be out of your control. However, what a terrific little adventure you will have traveling to Seattle from Atlanta. Be careful of the coffee addicts there....the whole darmed city seems to be wacked out on caffeine. <G>
blessings
zenbear
Yes, the shift in thinking was not only a relief for me, but it became better and better as time went on. I stopped hating the disease and its consequences as it became more and more irrelevant in my life.....and began simply loving living in the solution. Maintaining spiritual fitness became a constant joy in my life.
As for stress...something I found that helped enormously is being willing to leave the result to my HP. I do the best I can, attempt to do the most loving thing, and strive to quiet my expectations and my need to control the outcomes. For me, this makes my life a constant, exciting (but serene) adventure, relatively stress free.
You'll do just fine on the interview, and the results will be out of your control. However, what a terrific little adventure you will have traveling to Seattle from Atlanta. Be careful of the coffee addicts there....the whole darmed city seems to be wacked out on caffeine. <G>
blessings
zenbear
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
It must be all the rain there in Seattle, zbear... Hey, but some great music came out of there too. Maybe I'll put on some Eddie Vedder and brew some Starbucks on this sunny northeastern morning 
...
I like what zbear said. I especially want to second his comment about leaving the result to your higher power... That idea has been life changing for me. It's not about asking my HP for a particular outcome... but it's about, as zbear, leaving the result to Him... whatever the result... I (try) to do my part... like hey, I did my best, or if I didn't, I will have a better idea next time... I did my part and what happens, happens.
It's not hukuna matata ... not at all... But it's more about learning what my part is, developing confidence and knowledge in my own capabilities, and, limitations.... and being comfortable in them.
I am not perfect, far from it, and I frequently fail, but this new of living has given me tools to use, when I find myself up at 2 am with stress... and you know, they work.
GOOD LUCK on your interview, and congratulations on your good decisions...
...I like what zbear said. I especially want to second his comment about leaving the result to your higher power... That idea has been life changing for me. It's not about asking my HP for a particular outcome... but it's about, as zbear, leaving the result to Him... whatever the result... I (try) to do my part... like hey, I did my best, or if I didn't, I will have a better idea next time... I did my part and what happens, happens.
It's not hukuna matata ... not at all... But it's more about learning what my part is, developing confidence and knowledge in my own capabilities, and, limitations.... and being comfortable in them.
I am not perfect, far from it, and I frequently fail, but this new of living has given me tools to use, when I find myself up at 2 am with stress... and you know, they work.
GOOD LUCK on your interview, and congratulations on your good decisions...
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