5 months – Unfamiliar territory
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southern UK
Posts: 18
5 months – Unfamiliar territory
Hi,
When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will have accomplished 5 months of sobriety. This is more precious to me than I can communicate. Having that to lose gives me the determination to keep it (if that makes sense).
I am well past the initial phase where sobriety is exciting. Sleeping and appetite are a given now. I haven’t had real cravings for quite a while (which I only realized writing this post). I am now in the phase where real life has come back and is staring me in the face. All the problems that I had before I used alcohol to “escape” are still there and I am beginning to try to deal with them.
I put “unfamiliar territory” in the title of this thread as the latest development for me is that I feel like I have taken off from my comfort zone. I am making improvements in my life and exploring new things. I can no longer feel the ground under my feet. I can see that I am moving – forward hopefully. I don’t have a feeling of safety or familiarity. It is like emotionally moving through thick fog and wondering if I am going to walk into a wall or off a cliff. Actually, I kind of expect it but am then surprised when yet again I am okay.
Things are moving ahead rapidly with my health and work. I go to the gym three times a week and have so much energy now that I am driving people around me a bit nuts. At work, I am transitioning into a new position with increased responsibility -- going from functional- to line-manager.
Looking forward, I have some big challenges ahead of me as I need to confront certain demons within myself. I need to do that to have the life I want. I could never do it with alcohol. Now I get a chance to fight.
For anyone reading this and thinking about starting out on sobriety, know that while it is a long road, it is so worth it.
Thank you!
When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will have accomplished 5 months of sobriety. This is more precious to me than I can communicate. Having that to lose gives me the determination to keep it (if that makes sense).
I am well past the initial phase where sobriety is exciting. Sleeping and appetite are a given now. I haven’t had real cravings for quite a while (which I only realized writing this post). I am now in the phase where real life has come back and is staring me in the face. All the problems that I had before I used alcohol to “escape” are still there and I am beginning to try to deal with them.
I put “unfamiliar territory” in the title of this thread as the latest development for me is that I feel like I have taken off from my comfort zone. I am making improvements in my life and exploring new things. I can no longer feel the ground under my feet. I can see that I am moving – forward hopefully. I don’t have a feeling of safety or familiarity. It is like emotionally moving through thick fog and wondering if I am going to walk into a wall or off a cliff. Actually, I kind of expect it but am then surprised when yet again I am okay.
Things are moving ahead rapidly with my health and work. I go to the gym three times a week and have so much energy now that I am driving people around me a bit nuts. At work, I am transitioning into a new position with increased responsibility -- going from functional- to line-manager.
Looking forward, I have some big challenges ahead of me as I need to confront certain demons within myself. I need to do that to have the life I want. I could never do it with alcohol. Now I get a chance to fight.
For anyone reading this and thinking about starting out on sobriety, know that while it is a long road, it is so worth it.
Thank you!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Congrats on your five months sober!!
I know what you mean, about unfamiliar territory. I also know I've never been happier in my life.
My sobriety means more to me than anything else 'cause without it I would lose everything I hold dear.
Thanks for sharing your message of hope and happiness.
I know what you mean, about unfamiliar territory. I also know I've never been happier in my life. My sobriety means more to me than anything else 'cause without it I would lose everything I hold dear.Thanks for sharing your message of hope and happiness.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
OM,
You said: "All the problems that I had before I used alcohol to “escape” are still there and I am beginning to try to deal with them."
But the reality by the rest of your post is that all of the opportunities and possibilities that you had before you used alcohol to "escape" are still there too.
Congratulations! 45 days here but I can already relate. Thanks for the roadmap.
You said: "All the problems that I had before I used alcohol to “escape” are still there and I am beginning to try to deal with them."
But the reality by the rest of your post is that all of the opportunities and possibilities that you had before you used alcohol to "escape" are still there too.
Congratulations! 45 days here but I can already relate. Thanks for the roadmap.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southern UK
Posts: 18
Thank you, all of you!
I especially wanted to respond to the following from Itchy's post:
You are spot on. Just like alcohol doesn't solve anything, stopping drinking doesn't fix anything but what alcohol caused. Granted, it is a lot because addiction has such a pervasive effect in ones life. But just like there is risk in getting to the point where the novelty of sobriety has worn off, there is likely also risk when one starts resuming ones life and find that sobriety didn't clear out all those other life problems one has.
But, and it is a big and most welcome but, before there was no hope and now there is. Now I have opportunities and possibilities I didn't have before. I could choose to focus on lost time and let that get me down. Or I could focus on the old problems that are still there. But either would be self-indulgent negativity and completely miss the point that now life is restarting for me with all the uncertainties but also big opportunities that life has.
I can look back and feel bad. Or I can look forward and accept that while I can't dictate what happens, I get at least to give life a jolly good run for its money and just plain live!!!
Bring it on.
I especially wanted to respond to the following from Itchy's post:
Originally Posted by Itchy 
the reality by the rest of your post is that all of the opportunities and possibilities that you had before you used alcohol to "escape" are still there too.
But, and it is a big and most welcome but, before there was no hope and now there is. Now I have opportunities and possibilities I didn't have before. I could choose to focus on lost time and let that get me down. Or I could focus on the old problems that are still there. But either would be self-indulgent negativity and completely miss the point that now life is restarting for me with all the uncertainties but also big opportunities that life has.
I can look back and feel bad. Or I can look forward and accept that while I can't dictate what happens, I get at least to give life a jolly good run for its money and just plain live!!!
Bring it on.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
I just wrapped up month four and have been getting inklings of what you're writing about. Having read your post gives me a very big heads up in what to expect, and for that, I thank you!
Murray
Murray
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
OM,
you posted:
"I can look back and feel bad. Or I can look forward and accept that while I can't dictate what happens, I get at least to give life a jolly good run for its money and just plain live!!!"
My feelings perzactly! Thanks for the uplift and the smile pasted across my face this morning.
you posted:
"I can look back and feel bad. Or I can look forward and accept that while I can't dictate what happens, I get at least to give life a jolly good run for its money and just plain live!!!"
My feelings perzactly! Thanks for the uplift and the smile pasted across my face this morning.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 316
These are some beautiful posts and replies! I'm on day 7 and definitely still in the honeymoon phase when sobriety is a new sensation. I'm really scared of the unfamiliar territory you're describing, assuming I even stay sober long enough to see it, but you give me hope that it will be manageable.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Thanks for your post, Omega. I'm just over 7 months now, and I'm with you on real life staring me in the face. I did really well the first few months focusing on my recovery and learning tools to help me deal with everyday life, but now I'm seeing the big things that I've got to start working on. Now I know how to go to sleep with being blacked out, I can get off work and go straight home without a couple drinks at the bar, I can cook dinner without drinking a bottle of wine, I can enjoy a baseball or football game while drinking soda (and still remember it!)...Those daily things have gotten to be no big deal at this point.
But now I have to start focusing on the bigger life issues. Working on my career (perhaps even figuring out what career I really want), saving money to buy a house, planning a wedding and future with my fiancee, learning to be a good steward of my time and money...Now that I have a little time under my belt without the booze, and I've learned how to deal with a lot of the small things in life without drinking, I think I'm ready to start playing big boy games. At least I hope I am.
But now I have to start focusing on the bigger life issues. Working on my career (perhaps even figuring out what career I really want), saving money to buy a house, planning a wedding and future with my fiancee, learning to be a good steward of my time and money...Now that I have a little time under my belt without the booze, and I've learned how to deal with a lot of the small things in life without drinking, I think I'm ready to start playing big boy games. At least I hope I am.
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