Anyone from UK?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Anyone from UK?
Im just into my 4th day of sobriety (this time) and having found this site am feeling more inspired than ever that I can stick with it. Its great to meet new friends from anywhere in the world, any situation, any length of sobriety to fight this battle together however I would particularly like to connect with some fellow UK members - I have not seen many - so please say hi it would be great to share with some new friends who are close to home and maybe have some tips on how to handle the immense drinking culture we have here - one that has been embedded into my brain for nearly 30 years. This is such a fantastic website I am going back to AA tonight and will be mentioning it if I feel brave enough to share.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Hi almay nice to meet you - im only at the beginning of my 4th day so its not over yet but I am confident I will get through it esp as its my local towns AA mtg tonight. I feel a bit weird today - thought I would be getting more stuff done by now and feel im letting myself down sober as well - I know its early days so will maybe make my daily plans a little simpler to start off with. I am getting ready for work now so cant spend as much time on here as i'd like but im so glad ive found this site its just what I need!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Hi Debbie
Im in Scotland... so not too far :o)
Please try and take things easy on yourself... give yourself time to settle down and not expect too much from yourself just yet.
I know when i first got sober... i wanted to get loads of stuff done... but had to realise i had done alot of physical, mental and spiritual damage to my body... and had a lot of healing to do.
Good for you that you are heading to your local AA meeting tonight... my sponsor got clean in London and they said it is brilliant there... so much support.
Your no longer alone remember.
Take care and let us know how your getting on.... also your welcome in chat anytime... there are afew UK member use it :o)
Im in Scotland... so not too far :o)
Please try and take things easy on yourself... give yourself time to settle down and not expect too much from yourself just yet.
I know when i first got sober... i wanted to get loads of stuff done... but had to realise i had done alot of physical, mental and spiritual damage to my body... and had a lot of healing to do.
Good for you that you are heading to your local AA meeting tonight... my sponsor got clean in London and they said it is brilliant there... so much support.
Your no longer alone remember.
Take care and let us know how your getting on.... also your welcome in chat anytime... there are afew UK member use it :o)
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there I'm from England. I know the drinking culture you speak of all too well. I got sober at 23 so I had to wrestle with all the related mind battles associated with getting sober in a country where alcohol is where all the 'fun' seems to be generated from. certainly for me the booze and drugs was where the buzz of going out came from, take that away and you may as well socialise anywhere as bars lose their appeal, for me anyway.
I am 16 months sober on Monday, so it can be done, if you truly have an honest desire to get sober for no other agenda than getting sober.
What really helped and continues to help me on my journey of recovery is that I knew the only options for me if i continued to drink would be prison, psychiatric ward or more like death from OD or suicide. I wasn't a bad kid but obviously drinking to blackout is gonna land you in trouble again and again; drinking-driving, drug possession charges etcetc.
There are certainly many wreckheads in UK, but most aren't probably alcoholics. They probably have the ability to drink within moderation on certain occassions. For me I never drank moderately, always until I passed out and usually blacked out in the process causing much worry and paranoia upon waking up.
Nice one on the AA meeting and there are lots of AA meetings in UK. You will get to know the people who attend within a 25 mile-radius ( certainly where I live) and at first I found that almost a bit of a negative. But in fact I was grateful for it when I started going regularly to meetings again as I knew everybody and they knew me and were pleased to see my progress. There is alot of wisdom and strength in the rooms of AA. Don;t get me wrong it wasn't without it's problems for me but I remain grateful to AA and the mebers of AA. I have always had a very positive AA experince. But I went there for no other reason than sobriety and my recovery. I always try to share as honestly and openly as possible (within reason obviously) and try to inspire any newcomers that recovery is an option worth pursuing.
Peace
I am 16 months sober on Monday, so it can be done, if you truly have an honest desire to get sober for no other agenda than getting sober.
What really helped and continues to help me on my journey of recovery is that I knew the only options for me if i continued to drink would be prison, psychiatric ward or more like death from OD or suicide. I wasn't a bad kid but obviously drinking to blackout is gonna land you in trouble again and again; drinking-driving, drug possession charges etcetc.
There are certainly many wreckheads in UK, but most aren't probably alcoholics. They probably have the ability to drink within moderation on certain occassions. For me I never drank moderately, always until I passed out and usually blacked out in the process causing much worry and paranoia upon waking up.
Nice one on the AA meeting and there are lots of AA meetings in UK. You will get to know the people who attend within a 25 mile-radius ( certainly where I live) and at first I found that almost a bit of a negative. But in fact I was grateful for it when I started going regularly to meetings again as I knew everybody and they knew me and were pleased to see my progress. There is alot of wisdom and strength in the rooms of AA. Don;t get me wrong it wasn't without it's problems for me but I remain grateful to AA and the mebers of AA. I have always had a very positive AA experince. But I went there for no other reason than sobriety and my recovery. I always try to share as honestly and openly as possible (within reason obviously) and try to inspire any newcomers that recovery is an option worth pursuing.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
He Debbie,
Not from the UK just a yank over here but sending you my best wishes. As I am fond of saying we are on 6 continents so there is usually always someone here. As you have already seen you have a few of your countrymen here as well.
Not from the UK just a yank over here but sending you my best wishes. As I am fond of saying we are on 6 continents so there is usually always someone here. As you have already seen you have a few of your countrymen here as well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Very very ashamed to say I am drinking tonight - I should never say I am confident I wont its like a death wish on me 
Had a really bad time at work and a few things happened that made me think well I need a drink after all this then more things happened and that was it - I fought it in my head a while on the drive home from work but really knew the devil had got me again - pop in Tesco to get dinner and two bottles of wine, im now a third way down the second bottle. Im so sorry for putting all the bull on here about being inspired and determined and I feel I dont deserve your company - needless to say I didnt make the meeting - there is one near me on Sunday so will aim to go to that one and make tomorrow my day 1 again but I have a feeling now I have lapsed again so soon I dont know what will happen. I should of come on here earlier but I cant when im at work and when I have to go to Tesco as its on my way back how do I stop myself? I will feel like crap in the morning I know but i've started now and I cant stop until the 2nd bottle is done - I have to feed my daughter (eldest who seems happy to eat late but I know thats just a crap excuse from me) at some point she will come down and say when is dinner ready and I will start cooking it if I havent already - I intend to soon I have just let the booze take over and delaying delaying so I can just sit here and drink and smoke and drink blah blah - it felt nice for a while - now I feel like utter crap - so sorry
Had a really bad time at work and a few things happened that made me think well I need a drink after all this then more things happened and that was it - I fought it in my head a while on the drive home from work but really knew the devil had got me again - pop in Tesco to get dinner and two bottles of wine, im now a third way down the second bottle. Im so sorry for putting all the bull on here about being inspired and determined and I feel I dont deserve your company - needless to say I didnt make the meeting - there is one near me on Sunday so will aim to go to that one and make tomorrow my day 1 again but I have a feeling now I have lapsed again so soon I dont know what will happen. I should of come on here earlier but I cant when im at work and when I have to go to Tesco as its on my way back how do I stop myself? I will feel like crap in the morning I know but i've started now and I cant stop until the 2nd bottle is done - I have to feed my daughter (eldest who seems happy to eat late but I know thats just a crap excuse from me) at some point she will come down and say when is dinner ready and I will start cooking it if I havent already - I intend to soon I have just let the booze take over and delaying delaying so I can just sit here and drink and smoke and drink blah blah - it felt nice for a while - now I feel like utter crap - so sorry
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you're an alcoholic then the natural thing is to use drink as a solution to your problems/worries/life. As you know it doesn;t work and just makes life even harder and more intolerable.
Just start again tomorrow and if you really are ready to give the drink up then make sure you do whatever possible to not pick that first drink up. Go to an AA meeting, Come and read/post on SR, nail a Mcdonald large chocolate milkshake instead of a drink and I guarantee you won;t want a drink so much after.
When I was early in recovery I was home alone for 2 weeks and about 3 weeks sober. I was unemployed too . I was determined I wanted to stay sober so I bought loads of Coca-cola, ice-cream, Chocolate, Curry and other good stuff! ha-ha. When thoughts of a drink came then i would nail a can of coke or eat loads of chocolate or whatever to take my mind off it. But more importanly I was on SR daily and posting and reading and also attending AA meetings regularly.
Do anything but pick up that first drink, that's the one that get you. I would have had to finish the second bottle off too, so i relate there. It's such a crap feeling when the bottle is gone though, especially if the shops are closed. I knew i was an alcoholic when I had to sit there and just crave it so bad and not be able to get anymore.
All The Best
Just start again tomorrow and if you really are ready to give the drink up then make sure you do whatever possible to not pick that first drink up. Go to an AA meeting, Come and read/post on SR, nail a Mcdonald large chocolate milkshake instead of a drink and I guarantee you won;t want a drink so much after.
When I was early in recovery I was home alone for 2 weeks and about 3 weeks sober. I was unemployed too . I was determined I wanted to stay sober so I bought loads of Coca-cola, ice-cream, Chocolate, Curry and other good stuff! ha-ha. When thoughts of a drink came then i would nail a can of coke or eat loads of chocolate or whatever to take my mind off it. But more importanly I was on SR daily and posting and reading and also attending AA meetings regularly.
Do anything but pick up that first drink, that's the one that get you. I would have had to finish the second bottle off too, so i relate there. It's such a crap feeling when the bottle is gone though, especially if the shops are closed. I knew i was an alcoholic when I had to sit there and just crave it so bad and not be able to get anymore.
All The Best
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
yep thats where I am now - not finished all the drink yet but know when its gone I wont be able to get any more - have started dinner - told my girl it will be half an hour about three quaters of an hour ago - what sort of selfish bitch mother am I - Ive been drinking and playing virtual reality games on facebook - I will serve up the dinner now but its not gonna be as nice as it wouldve been if I had done it sober, hours ago - actually I probably wont serve it up just yet cos I still have more wine and I prefer it on an empty stomach - I must make myself read these posts again when sober cos im sure I will hate myself enough to stop then????
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
That self hatred had me by the throat every day. I knew I should stop but would drink anyway, then wake up sick as hell and hating myself. Please don't hate yourself. Make tomorrow your day One and just don't drink for today. Just get thru each day one at a time without a drink. I've been trying to stop drinking for about three years now and am just now coming up on a year sober so you can see I didn't 'get it' right away.
But I kept trying, kept coming back, kept putting my energy into sobriety... and sure enough, I finally was able to stay sober.
I owe my success to the AA meetings I went to early on, my wonderful addiction counselor, and the caring people here who never gave up on me... even when I was ready to give up on myself.
Make the next meeting you can get to. Maybe look into counseling, especially with an addiction specialist. Whatever it takes to get and stay sober, put your heart and soul into it. You can do this.
I'm from the US but want to welcome you to the family with a big ol' hug!
I knew I should stop but would drink anyway, then wake up sick as hell and hating myself. Please don't hate yourself. Make tomorrow your day One and just don't drink for today. Just get thru each day one at a time without a drink. I've been trying to stop drinking for about three years now and am just now coming up on a year sober so you can see I didn't 'get it' right away.But I kept trying, kept coming back, kept putting my energy into sobriety... and sure enough, I finally was able to stay sober.
I owe my success to the AA meetings I went to early on, my wonderful addiction counselor, and the caring people here who never gave up on me... even when I was ready to give up on myself. Make the next meeting you can get to. Maybe look into counseling, especially with an addiction specialist. Whatever it takes to get and stay sober, put your heart and soul into it. You can do this.
I'm from the US but want to welcome you to the family with a big ol' hug!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
I will start again tomorrow (easy to say sitting here with my last large glass of wine still to go) but counselling and stuff - I cant afford it - ive had my fair share of it over the years from the good old NHS and not entitled to any more - not that im knocking the system its much nicer to know if you drop down and need attention you wont have to pay for it afterwards! Well financially anyway.
Feeling a bit nice from the booze but apprehensive of what I will feel like tomorrow and cant enjoy it cos of the guilt - not that I deserve to enjoy it but thats what I thought it might make me feel like - how do I stop myself relapsing when every time I get a **** deal at work or something I feel it gives me an excuse to get hammered?
Feeling a bit nice from the booze but apprehensive of what I will feel like tomorrow and cant enjoy it cos of the guilt - not that I deserve to enjoy it but thats what I thought it might make me feel like - how do I stop myself relapsing when every time I get a **** deal at work or something I feel it gives me an excuse to get hammered?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Just feel like a total plonker this morning - hey ho hello again day 1 - dont feel as rough as I deserve to - maybe that will come later on at work - I must find me a back up plan for when things get to me at work cos thats when the devil takes control and I have lost all common sense by the time I leave - might start a new thread about this later asking for advice on this point.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 76
Hey Debbie,
You and me are in the same place. I have had many evenings like yours last night. Not cooking the kids tea till late cos I like to drink on an empty stomach. It's not great, is it?
And the whole Tesco thing... I pop in for food and am faced with the one thing I am trying to avoid. Staring me in the face. It's so hard to resist.
Day one for me too, gotta go and be smiley at work in a minute, not sure how though...
You and me are in the same place. I have had many evenings like yours last night. Not cooking the kids tea till late cos I like to drink on an empty stomach. It's not great, is it?
And the whole Tesco thing... I pop in for food and am faced with the one thing I am trying to avoid. Staring me in the face. It's so hard to resist.
Day one for me too, gotta go and be smiley at work in a minute, not sure how though...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
I think if I could tap into this site whilst at work it would help immensely - as soon as those feelings and urges start its what I need to do to remind me how ridiculous I am being wanting to do something that damages me and others around me just because I am having some normal crap moments at work like everyone else does! Good luck at work - I dont start till the afternoon so have some time to chill lucky for me - wont call in Tesco today - well thats the plan at the moment - if necessary we can get a takeaway. Fridays are always danger days for me - as I expect is the case for many - Friday = weekend = drink, its embedded in my deepest core - however being totally honest for me Anyday = any excuse = drink. I need to find some new ingredients for that equation. Hmmmm - something to think about. This site is great!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 160
Hey Debbie - its tough isnt it? Most people on here know how difficult I found it just to get 1 day. Every day I would feel so ill from the night before, promise myself todays the day, then go home and drink at least one bottle of wine. I also am a mother with a child who is 7 - hes amazing. I was spending every evening just sitting in the kitchen getting drunk - not a great role model.
I drank to get drunk every night for 6 solid years without a break. I had 27 days sober back in July, went on holiday and blew it. It then took me another 2 months before I finally managed to get day one. The reason i am telling you all this is to show it can be done. Not easy but it can be done. I am on day 47 now and taking it one day at a time.
I get cravings but I actually embrace them now and try to figure out why I am craving the drink - once you work out why its easier to emotionally deal with it and not pick up.
I sit with my son on the seatte every night now cuddling up and watching television and fighting over sweets :-). I do his spellings with him and his reading so he is doing better at school. I am very happy about that.
I know they say you have to do it for yourself but I am doing it for both of us.
Look at it this way, as a mother I will do anything for my son, Id walk over hot coals for him and i am sure you would do the same for your child/children. So if we can do that for them, we can stop drinking for them too.
Wishing you luck and please keep posting and reading - I read on here everyday, it reminds me I'm not one of a kind. There are other people trying to get better, just like me and you.xx
I drank to get drunk every night for 6 solid years without a break. I had 27 days sober back in July, went on holiday and blew it. It then took me another 2 months before I finally managed to get day one. The reason i am telling you all this is to show it can be done. Not easy but it can be done. I am on day 47 now and taking it one day at a time.
I get cravings but I actually embrace them now and try to figure out why I am craving the drink - once you work out why its easier to emotionally deal with it and not pick up.
I sit with my son on the seatte every night now cuddling up and watching television and fighting over sweets :-). I do his spellings with him and his reading so he is doing better at school. I am very happy about that.
I know they say you have to do it for yourself but I am doing it for both of us.
Look at it this way, as a mother I will do anything for my son, Id walk over hot coals for him and i am sure you would do the same for your child/children. So if we can do that for them, we can stop drinking for them too.
Wishing you luck and please keep posting and reading - I read on here everyday, it reminds me I'm not one of a kind. There are other people trying to get better, just like me and you.xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Hey Debbie...how you doing..
Have you got a local alcohol/drug support agency in your town?......they are normaly free ......you can access other free services from those agencies.
i.e counselling and detox....
if you pm me your town i can look into that for you if that would be any help?
Im living in the SW and have for some years.......although im not originally from round here.
i found the answer to my drinking in AA.......well to be fair it was in a book called alcoholics anonymous...
a program of recovery called the 12 steps......it became the key that released me from the nightmare of years and years of chronic drinking.
if i can be of any help please feel free to pm me........names shaun.
Have you got a local alcohol/drug support agency in your town?......they are normaly free ......you can access other free services from those agencies.
i.e counselling and detox....
if you pm me your town i can look into that for you if that would be any help?
Im living in the SW and have for some years.......although im not originally from round here.
i found the answer to my drinking in AA.......well to be fair it was in a book called alcoholics anonymous...
a program of recovery called the 12 steps......it became the key that released me from the nightmare of years and years of chronic drinking.
if i can be of any help please feel free to pm me........names shaun.
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