Lilly03

I'm considering going to NA or AA or Al-Anon but I'm really overwhelmed, and frankly terrified. I think it's something that could potentially benefit me, but I'm scared it's not going to go well...or I'll be too shy to share, or I won't fit in.

Also, I'm not sure which one to go to! I could to go to NA because I have more than an alcohol problem but I've never done any hard drugs so I'm scared I won't fit in...I could go to AA but I could also go to NA. I really think I should go to Al-Anon meetings also because I am co-dependent and my dad is an alcoholic and I have a lot of problems with that. Just looking into it all and trying to find a meeting near me (I'm a student so don't drive, and a lot of the areas are really rough so I'd need to take a very long bus ride and try to fit that around classes) ugh.

I'm making excuses, and I'm really overwhelmed but I was hoping to get some encouragement - or advice. I've read AA/NA literature and that helped me a lot. AND I'm away from all but 1 friend and all of my family, so I could use some more positive people around me, face to face.

least

I went to AA when I was early in recovery. I got a lot of support there and good advice. I don't go as much now but still use the advice I got from meetings. And if you go to a meeting that doesn't seem to suit you, try another. Meetings are all different, altho they carry the same message, and some meetings are better than others. Give it a good try. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

deakanutz

23 day ago I stumbled into AA. Weird I wasnt nervous cause I knew I needed help and anything was better than no help. I got their early and I guy introduced himself, I told him it was my first day. Within minutes he introduced me to about 12 people that truely and genuinely wanted to help. They all wrote down their numbers on a pamphlet and begged me to call if I needed help. These people were great to talk to because they all have been there and understood everything I had to say.

Lily almost everyone in my meetings have a combination of Alcohol and drugs so dont waorry about that. 23 days and 26 meetings, that ans SR get me through these days.

stayinsober

Go to any meeting you don't have to talk if you don't feel like it. I found that staying afterwards is when I open up to someone that aproaches me. I was also given numbers to call, you don't have to call them and give them your life story if you don't want to they're there to listen and be a friend. I am on week 3 and I have been going to meetings too, at first I was shy and it took a bit to open up. Sometimes I still pass and just listen. It is a great way to find new sober friends and they are always there when u need them even if it's 2-3 a.m....Just give it a try, if one don't feel right try another one. BEST WISHES TO YOU, You have true friends to meet at AA's,NA's & Al-Non and of course here.

Zencat

I have made some good friends by going to AA meetings. I most always hear something that is helpful to my recovery in an AA meeting. After all the only essential is a desire to stop drinking in order to be a member of AA.

ANGELINA243

Why not go to a couple meetings before you make a final decision. Go and see what each program has to offer and also find one where you think you "fit" in and could possibly get involved with should you decide to stay. I go to both AA and NA. I find that both help me in my recovery. Also, I have been to a couple Alanon meetings in the past. There are some members in AA that also qualify for Alanon. I learned alot in those meetings too. The main thing is to find a support system that can help you.

LawMama

I go to AA and I also dabbled in drugs at times but was never addicted to hard drugs. AA suits me because my main problem was with alcohol and the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. You could also try NA and I'm sure they would welcome you there.

As for the Al-Anon thing....I am also the child of alcoholic parents and at some point I will probably attend Al-Alon but my sponsor has recommended I do the 12 steps first. She goes to Al-Anon too and says that it is not about staying sober but about dealing with the alcoholic/addict in her life. She reminds me to keep first things first and my own sobriety is paramount at this point. But that's just one person's advice. I get the impression that talking about our own alcoholism in Al-Anon would be discouraged.

Good luck! And don't be scared. No one will make you talk! I was scared and nervous but that went away over time.

caribbean

I was scared of all of those things, too. Frankly, it took me quite a few days to get up the courage to go. After I got to my first meeting, it was much easier to go to the next one. And miraculously, I have found it incredibly easy to remain sober since I started going to meetings.

You don't have to share, and you don't have to say you're an alcoholic. If you're asked to introduce yourself, you can just say "I'm X and I'm just here to listen."

Here's a good guide about what to expect at your first AA meeting: Your First AA Meeting<

As others have said, many people who go to AA are cross-addicted. If I were in your shoes, I'd try out a few different types of meetings and see what worked best for me.

Good luck! If you go, do report back and let us know how it went.

discoveringme

Howdy! I am "only"..haha..an alcoholic, but I prefer the NA meetings here in my town. I agree you should just go to a few of each, go early get a seat and a nice cup of coffee..and listen. (for me..its a little coffee with my cream and sugar!) You will find that fitting in is easier than you expected!

Mcribb

I would invest alot of time in finding and attending meetings that work for you. I spend a million hours drinking and doing drugs and being a butthole, but I spent like 2 hours invested trying AA and I was like. This isn't for me. The meetings are a small part of the whole deal, you have to work the steps and get a sponser. Hopefully you invest some time and energy in it. I had to surrender the idea that I am an alcoholic. I get a knot in my stomach when I think about how much time I did on things like video games, but something that could make my life 10 times better (AA/NA) I sent little or no time at. Hope everything goes well.

Kjell

Freak'n awesome! Well done and I've had the same experience in AA.

"They" say in AA, you can move mountains, but you better bring a shovel. Recovery is hard work, but really, what other choice do we have?

Grateful Heart

I would not be sober today if not for AA. It is an awesome program. The people there will make you feel welcome. At my first meeting about 8 people came up and greeted me and gave me thier phone numbers. Please give it a try. Grateful Heart.

Itchy

Lilly,
Regardless of AA or NA make sure you let them know it is your first meeting and tell them exactly what you posted above as your share, about being terrified of being there. I think you'll see a lot of empathy and understanding coming your way, as most will remember feeling the same way. You don't have to get into the details of your life up until then unless you are comfortable. One more thing, you want to go to several meetings and find a group that has what you want there. You don't even have to be able to say what it is that you want, but trust me, you'll know it when you feel it, and you will.

I disliked my first meeting and lucked out and on my second try I found a group that is perfect for me, and has been my lifeline twice a week, and I am on day 42. I mix AA with being here whenever I need to be, and this resource is powerful and an indispensible part of my whole recovery.

Good luck Lilly. I think you'll find like me that it is the only place face to face where you can be you and not be judged safely.

Had I started with them and here years ago I'd be like some in my group who get up and say I'm xxxx and I am an alcoholic, and I have been sober since X date 1973?? This resource and them have what I want, and I don't have to steal it, they give it away!

Lilly03

Thanks for all the help. The only meeting I found tonight is an NA meeting so I think I'm going to go check it out. It's at a church which kind of scares me, but I think I'm going to do it. I've been letting fear rule my life for far too long and I can't live like that.

Isaiah

Yeah, the thing I've come to learn in AA is that everyone comes in the same way. Every person in AA was scared and hesitant at first. It happens all the time at meetings I go to that someone says they "just want to listen" and we always reply, "we're glad you're here." It's true too.

And the thing with churches, churches house a lot of AA meetings but it's very practical. For one, they often have lots of open space which they very rarely use. Plus AA pays rent for the space, and churches are glad to provide it cheaply. Meetings in churches are no different from meetings anywhere else.

Lilly03

Thank you Isaiah, that makes me feel a lot better. Part of me thinks if I go and it doesn't go well that I will have no other options...like I'm putting all my hope into it. I know it's ridiculous because I have other support - and there are other meetings.

Isaiah

In my case, my first meeting was not a very good one, but not all meetings are alike. My second meeting elsewhere was amazing. I left feeling like I was walking on clouds.

In all the time I've spent here I've seen a lot of people talk about being worried about meetings and pretty much every time they come back saying it was better than they expected.

augustwest

i'm a member of NA and go to 4-6 meetings a week

Stang

I stopped going to AA they make sobriety too complicated for me.

LaFemme

I hope the meeting goes well. Have You looked into and programs that might be available at school? You might be surprised...I had a friend who got sober while in college and despite the small size of our school I remember there being a program.