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Old 11-02-2010, 06:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Humble and Grateful


Wow, yall! Had a really wild experience tonight. Was taking a walk up to town after church and ran into a woman I have been friendly with for years - go to the same church, kids go to school together, etc.

Anyway, I said hello and she used that opportunity to direct an ugly and aggressive one-sided conversation at me about how she dislikes my oldest son and she regrets ever being nice to me!

I gently asked what her problem with my son was, and the answer was a rambling, paranoid and drunk-person response. I could feel the anger simmering off her, and also her despair, because she clearly didn't really have a problem with me or my son, it was herself and her unhappiness with her life and her daughter.

I have to admit that I was tempted to argue very briefly, but then an overwhelming wave of pity swept through me. I used to be that big-mouth, looking for a fight chick, too. Back when I was drunk, unhappy and my life was out of control.

I sidestepped the situation as gracefully as I could, and walked away grateful that I am not the person anymore, and humbled by all the gifts that sobriety has brought into my life.

Thanks for letting me share.

Jomey
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Old 11-02-2010, 06:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Well done.

Especially hard when situations like that hit you blindside, but you kept peace and gratitude. Sounds awfully profound to me.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure I could have found that level of poise, JJ...but it doesn't surprise me you did

Thanks for a great post!
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I just let the dogs outside and was watching a neighbor from down the street walking home after being at the neighborhood bar, where he goes three times a week. He couldn't walk straight and walked across the street,seemingly unaware of the car coming up the street, very close. The driver honked and the guy just yelled some obscenity and kept on weaving his way across the street... Made me so glad I'm not drinking anymore...

I'm glad you didn't bother to 'engage' in her ranting. Best to just count your blessings and keep on going...
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Old 11-02-2010, 08:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I think I would have decked her.....or yelled really loud at the very least.

You handled it much better than I would have. And really I think it was the best way.

You're right....she's mad at herself.
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Old 11-03-2010, 07:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
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You did well despite being tested so hard. I believe that was a test for you and looks to me like you passed with flying colors. If we all treated others the way we prefer to be treated, this world would be so very different.

In saying that, it takes all kinds to make the world go round. Good job on seeing things for what they really are and knowing how to properly handle it.
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Old 11-03-2010, 08:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Saturday night my neighborhood had a Halloween block party, I went as a witch, not a scary witch but I had on a black dress/ heavy makeup/ black lipstick/ skull tatoos etc, and a witches hat (see AV minus the hat); I was 1 of the hostesses of the party as I'm on the HOA board so I was mingling (along with my dog in her witches hat) and trying to be friendly, most everyone else was drinking and getting louder and louder... About 45 min in to the party I stopped to chat with my neighbor from 2 houses down and another neighbor from a block away, I don't know them very well other to wave or say hello when I see them; the neighbor from a block away was commenting on how good my makeup was especially the black lipstick which I told her was just eyeliner that I used on my lips, she said "it looks really good" then the neighbor from 2 houses down from me says "yeah for a tramp"...... I think my jaw dropped but I just kind of smiled and moved on... as I walked away I thought if I'd been drinking I would have caused a big scene because of her stupid drunken comment but sober I was able to just ignore her and walk away, life is good.
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Old 11-03-2010, 11:34 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I think I would have decked her.....or yelled really loud at the very least
Three years ago, I'm SURE I would have done both!

It's amazing how sobriety not only has given me the ability to think clearly, but also, I'm learning in small steps, to let time pass before reacting to situations.

Also, I have to share that I spent a great deal of time thinking about the situation last night. It was unnerving, and part of what I finally realized was bothering me, is that I was so stuck in the habit of assuming that I was wrong and that everyone else was right from when my self-esteen was non existent due to my drinking, that it took me a few hours to realize "hey, I did the right thing and it wasn't just a front. That woman needs to clean her side of the street. Mine's looking pretty good to me right now."

I share this in gratitude and hope. Thanks for sharing your experiences too.

Jomey
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