joey8262

hi guys-i sailed it through week one-i've actually shocked MYSELF-i never thought i'd be able to sit and say it but the thought of a drink knocks me sick now-not the actual act of having the drink-but the effects, the consequences, going back to the person i was-and yes, i've still got a lot to contend with between one thing and another but as god is my judge it WILL be a cold day in hell before i even CONTEMPLATE touching a drink and going back to the drunken lazy waste of space that i had become in the end.

i'm not saying my life is perfect now because that would be lying-and i've done too much of that to myself, and others, in the past-BUT things are a lot clearer and more positive for me-and it's only being on here having people to shout and moan at, and my own persistence-that has ultimately paid off.

i'm sober now-but i'll keep coming back and checking in-but if i don't then it's not because i'm back at the bottle-it's because i'm busy getting on with my life-and that wasn'r meant in a condescending way-but i'm a lot more active now-fighting to get the "old john" back.

thanks again for all the support and messages and advice guys-you'll never know how much you've all helped in one way or another.

John.

Dee74

glad to hear things are improving John

D

Kitey

Good to hear it John !

artsoul

Way to go! I was surprised to find myself staying sober and feeling good about it, too.

Glad things are going so well!

joey8262

feeling a bit wound up tonight-i dont know if or how many of you in here are from u.k but i've just have spent half the day being interviewed at benefits agency-the offences that ex has accused me of have now gone to benefit fraud, manafacturing counterfeit goods, the whole lot-she really is out to get me good and proper-i think tonight is going to be the make or break of me-if i can make it through tonight then i will be thankful-if not, then she's achieved her goal-the last thing i want.

Dee74

You and I know drinking over any of that won't help you or your case John.
Boundless accusations will always be proven false.

Hang in there.
D

SwanSong

Hope you decided to hang on to your sobriety! Please don't let someone else throw you off course...I'm sure you're well aware it won't be worth it, it never is. Good luck!

Aloneinoz

Hang on in there, youre doing so well!

Oz

joey8262

thanks guys-stayed clear of the bottles/cans-2 weeks tomorrow-and i still feel as strong as the 1st day-the things i've gone through in the last 2 weeks i wouldn't wish on anyone-i had ex banging on my door for 25 miunutes yesterday wanting to drop everything-had to get police to her-the wpc who came out told me str8-it's all only ever been about control with her-and looking back now it WAS about control-it was always her in the driving seat, dragging me down-finally am free of her and feel like i'm getting my own sense of control back.

stephnc

Congratulations on your two weeks...that's awesome. Don't let the ex-gf get you down. You're doing great!

joey8262

just an update guys-made it to FOUR WEEKS-i know for some this might be trivial-but at the time i realised i had to stop it i couldn't go four HOURS without a drink-i've shocked a few "friends" who've offered me a drink over the last few weeks-i've come to realise that it's all about self-control-there's always going to be someone with a beer in the fridge or a bottle on the wine rack-it's about having the will to look and think back and ask "do i really want to be back there ?" my friend-who i've grown up with-i look up to him and respect this guy-has just got to 6 months-his ex gf got back in his life-7.30am here today i watched him walk from his house to hers(about 40yds) in boxers and training shoes-and a bag of skol super(strong beer)and in the u.k it's absolutely freezing at the moment-literally-all his thing of a gf could do was stand at the gate laughing recording it on her mobile phone-i feel physically sick at seeing him that low again-i feel like crying for the guy because he can't say no to her and she drags him down to her level-so my dilema is-do i go and see him ? we've always got on and he's been invaluable with advice-i know i couldnt have done it without him-or do i leave him until he hits rock bottom again ? catch 22 situation but i'm gutted for him-back to me anyway !! lol i'm feeling good-got my meds for over christmas-and will continue to say "no thanks"-i wont be running away from it-but i won't be running towards it-if you get my sense of reasoning-it's always going to be there-just got to keep strong-every day is like a new day now-the tester is going to be christmas day but i know i can do it.

thanks as always guys for listening and hope you are all ok and doing well-and to the newbies-stick around, it'll be worth it.

John.

Dee74

Hi John
Congratulations on your 4 weeks

With your friend - I always counsel people early in recovery not to get too involved with trying to help active drinkers - it may sound callous, sure - but I've seen people go under trying to help someone else time and time again....you'd be no good to anyone then, John.

Right now I doubt there's anything you or anyone could say to your mate anyway.

Focus on you for now - then down the track you can help others with what you've learned

D