iLOVEyou

Hi, this is my first time ever joining, I have a drinking problem, I have always had a drinking problem.
Ever feel like your whole life is crashing down on you faster than a burning building?
Lately, my relationship has been falling apart, he has told me things have changed we have changed, and hes right,
Ive always had a problem running away from problems and turning to booze. I am an aggressive drinker, I have slapped my boyfriend, which now when I'm sober I feel terrible about it.
He won't even look at me half the time anymore my drinking has esclated so much over the past few months, I even tried to OD on prescription medication to get my mind off the problems I have caused while drinking.
I'm currently a mess, I have my first AA meeting this evening in the local city. I have lost a lot of friends because of my drinking and my boyfriend was the only one who stood by me, but now I'm pushing him so far away he has no other choice but to run,
Any advice?
Sincerely, A complete mess.

LexieCat

Going to an AA meeting is a great first step. Listen to what people share--listen for how you are like them, rather than how you are different. I think we can ALL relate to your feeling that it is all crashing down around you. That's what they mean when they say our lives have become unmanageable. Eventually the disease takes over every aspect of it, and it's stronger than we are. Alcohol will kick our butts every time, if we get into the ring with it.

Fortunately, we don't have to do that anymore. We can admit it's more powerful than us, but also find there's something ELSE more powerful than us, that can help us put our lives right again.

I suggest you buy a Big Book as soon as you can--most meetings have them for sale ($6-7 hardcover) and here is an online version to tide you over.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It's not uncommon that we push people away from us when we are drinking. It's very, very difficult for those around us to manage, and they often back away. Alcoholism for me, ended up being very isolating.

Whatever your boyfriend decides to do at this time is his choice and you can't control that. But, you can take control of your own life and decide to stop drinking and recover. I hope you take a look around here and read and learn.

least

I agree: get to a meeting, or a few meetings, and listen for the similarities. There are lots of ways to get and stay sober. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart and soul because your life does depend on it.

Welcome to SR!

sobermax

Welcome!

Read and post here, it is a great place.

Dee74

oh yeah iLy. Totally identify.

The thing that helped me was to realise I couldn't fix everything at once, no matter how much I wanted to. It had taken me years to get myself to that point so it was a bit much to expect I could sort it out in a day or two...

Concentrate on stopping drinking and staying stopped for now - AA is a good first step for that.

Once you have that in your stride, then you can start to look at what else needs attention, and I think you'll find that part a lot easier with a clear head

We've all done bad things when drinking, especially to those we love.

I think the only real way to atone for that is through action - it takes more than words, it needs proper action, 'doing the right thing' - realising we have a problem and doing everything we can to fix it, and live a good life.

Be the person we know we can be, y'know?

But do it for you, not your bf - you need to work on you before you can work on anything else.

If this relationship is a good one, he'll see the changes in you and he'll understand what that means

Welcome aboard iLOVEyou
D

Spawn

to the family

Admitting you have a problem is half of step one,...........this is the right place to be. Hope you enjoy the meeting.

artsoul

Welcome, iLOVEyou - you're doing the right thing by reaching out and asking for help. You'll find a lot of helpful people both here at the forum and in AA. None of us can do this alone, so get all the support you can.

Getting sober can be the best decision you've ever made in your life. We're here for you......:ghug3

julez

Welcome to our family. I hope the meeting turns out to be the best thing you ever did.

Moo Moos

welcome to the gang Iloveyou, you made a great start. Keep doing what your doing for the moment, take it hour by hour and be kind to yourself

Opivotal

While drinking we do all kinds of awful things we would NEVER do while sober. It's the nature of the beast. Alcohol is the only thing on your mind right now. It want's to keep controlling you. Wants to be your one and only friend, your lover, your boss, your family. Wants you all to itself. It will isolate you and eventually destroy you. That's its goal.

I'm glad your going to AA and taking the first step in showing this beast who's really in control! You are! Never forget that. Hang in there.