firestorm090

Next week would've been two months since my last night of drinking, but it will not be.

Oh sure Dal, it's your fault, but I'm only a damn guy. I don't have any spiritual diamonds, hell I only have today. So what if she was showing her butt, coming on to me, flashing her eyes and her tail as if there was no tomorrow.

Hook, line and sinker.

I bit.

And I bit hard.

We're all responsible for our actions, but today I wish I wasn't.

Lilly03

Sorry to hear that. I'm glad you came back here after

firestorm090

Probem is, she thinks I'm great, what the hell does she know?

Damn, life sucks sometimes.

Dee74

I'm sorry Dallas - for what it's worth, it took me a long time to realise that someone who liked me better drunk, or who needed a drinking buddy, really wasn't good for me, and wasn't acting in my best interests...

no matter how attractive witty or whatever they seemed to be, it was a relationship built on beer foam.

You still have those 60 days - you just got to get into the habit of doing what's good for ya, man.

D

Sasha4

Your posts have always been inspirational to me. You probably did not know that. But now you do !

Dust yourself off, start again.

Take care and don't be too hard on yourself. 60 days is immense.

xx

SSIL75

ITA. I'm really sorry to hear you slipped. But now you know better. Don't let it take from the time you had. You know what it's like to live sober and you loved it. You'll get back there.

c49

I know you feel very frustrated but you should know that many of us, myself being no exception, did not get truly long-haul sober the first, second or however many times it took to make sobriety happen.

I know that each time I got sober that I stayed sober much longer than the previous time. I also knew that I enjoyed how I felt during the day and preferred living and feeling healthy as opposed to feeling drained and sickened with anxiety. The more I lived and got used to feeling good, the less I wanted to throw it all away for a 20 minute buzz.

You'll get it. I know it will click and stick for you. You already know the costs of 1 night of drinking is too much to deal with since you know how good it feels to live healthy over the past 2 months.

Kerbcrawler

Firestorm i get your predicament..ive a wife that still knocks it back regular, i had 5 mons in weeks back, and ended up cracking with havin a drunk around,who at the time caused me a lot of greif, i thought what the heck..you cant beat em join em,way of thought, silly i know, and it set me back, so once again 3 weeks in today, and pretty sure am not gonna make the same mistakes, when you get so much time under your belt,
you do, i think start becoming a better person, and going back the way is a major shock to the system, hope you can get back on and continue, were you left off, all the Best.

Anna

Dee is absolutely right, Dal. You deserve better and she is not caring about you or what happens to you.

Learn from the experience, and it doesn't have to happen again.

I'm glad you're back!

Carrie36

Sorry you are struggling. Glad you came back!

You can do this!

endzoner

thanks for being honest with us Dallas.. dont kick self down just dust self off and get back on the sober ride with us .. I too follow your posts and you are a insperation to many .. huggles Endzy

SASA

as everybody said, you learned that ging back is no option. Your mind did not tell it to you, you tried it, now you know for sure. so just continue walking the right way.

Kmber2010

FS, you came back and are sharing. Pick up and do it again. So many of us do and we get it. Nothing including people are worth drinking for and I think we are all better people sober.

Take those awesome 60 days and let it strengthen you. You will get there. Looking forward to the continued journey.

Chan

Don't give yourself such a hard time. You're human. We all slip up at times in life with all sorts of different issues.

Dust yourself off, don't be so harsh on yourself and start again. Good luck! And well done with 60 days!!!!!!!!!!

Fandy

I'm sorry for your pain and circumstance....but I think you will see those 60 days sober in the future.

shaking the butt and showing the tail????? I thought you were talking about my dog! LOL

people who really care about you won't be so callous if they know you are in early sobriety....they will support you....not entice you.

Toronto68

For some reason I can't remember the recent topics (I usually remember lots of details), but I remember liking your posts too. I haven't checked yet for a refresher.

She could be out to lunch on her reasoning, but what if she was right without knowing why?

It doesn't really matter. I think what you're talking about is something I always deal with, and that is being good enough for oneself. Who knows how long that is going to follow me around. Maybe you should give yourself more time to know yourself and to like yourself again, with the understanding that you will always find shortcomings. Some people might say you should not venture into romantic contexts so soon, and I tend to buy into that, but not in an absolute way. Being on your own just helps to simplify things while working on yourself. We know that drinking is the impostor of happiness made simple.

And I don't know where you were when this mating ritual was going on, but maybe you should not have been in there in the first place?

Live

((((((((((((((((Dallas)))))))))))))))))))))

yeahgr8

Dallas didn't something like this happen last time you decided to quit drinking...either that or i dreamed it! So the question is what are you going to do different this time...had enough yet?

Take care...

LaFemme

Hey Dallas! Last week you wrote about our gifts...finding them again in our sobriety. It might have been the most inspirational thing I have read here...at least for me personally. Go back and read your post again. That is the awesome and amazing Dallas we know and love here....you are awesome...but when you are sober, and working with the hands that God gifted you with.

Xoxo, Tina

P.s. the way you describe her she sounds like a fox...pretty on the outside but nasty at heart.

DayTrader

If nothing else D, setbacks like this show us just how powerless we are over alcohol and how powerless we are regarding our alcoholism. We cannot think ourselves or learn ourselves, or meeting ourselves into right thinking. We have to act ourselves into right thinking. I only say this because, if you look back, maybe there was some action you were taking that you let up on. Relapse usually starts well befor the actual drink hits our lips. While "she" may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, maybe hyoid relapse started before she came into the picture.

If that's what happened, yer in luck. One of the more important promises will be true for you ...... that your problems are of YOUR OWN making. That's a good thing because if it was "her" or "them" or "that issue" that causes the relapse, you'll have to spend the rest of your life avoiding all those "triggers" or you'll keep ending up drunk. If the relapse was YOUR fault, then all u have to do is fix u.....and since yer already aware...you can't fix you. Best of all, Someone/Thing can.....so this relapse is a blessing in that it can bring u closer to that Power.

I get that it seeeeems like "she" had something to do with it but I don't buy it. If we're in fit spiritual condition we can be in allsorts of situations like that yet we react sanely and rationally.