Surlyredhead

Just a note to let you know I am still here, and still sober. Most of you know that my Dad died this February. It seems to have had a greater effect than I realized. I found myself putting the blinders on to what was going on in the world and drifting through the days in a haze, existing more than living. No one really noticed, my Alcoholic self is pretty good at hiding emotions. About a month ago, my Mom got really sick. I had to leave work several times to take care of her. Fortuantely, she is doing much better. She couldn't even drive for a few weeks. That was a rude wake up call. I feel horrible that I didn't notice that she was getting sick until it was almost to late. I even apologised to her for not being there, I told her she would never have to worry about that again, she seemed so relieved, you could see her face just soften as if the weight of the world was being taken from her shoulders. I have come here to read often, but not posted much...it is time to change that too. I enjoy this forum, and I am grateful to everyone here. It is hard to say goodbye to my Dad, but I know he would want us to move on and be happy...not really looking forward to our first holiday season without him, but I know he will be there in spirit.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

least

Good to see you back, girlfriend!

Dee74

I'm sorry for all the ups and downs of this year, but I'm glad to see you back (((Cathy)))

D

Anna

Hey Cathy,

I'm glad you're back and seeking support here.

Kjell

My dad died last Feb. I was a mere two months sober...it was very, very hard.

I'm sorry about yours, but we can get sober no matter what. You and I are living proof of that.

Impurrfect

(((Cathy))) - good to see you back.

When my mom died, it didn't really sink in until about 6 months later. The "year of firsts" (first holidays, birthdays, etc. without them) is tough, I won't lie. I was still drowning in codependency and learning how to be an addict, but I did have someone validate the feelings I was going through.

Surround yourself with people who love you, grieve the wonderful man that was your dad, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I just spent a wonderful week with my family on mom's side, and though we've since lost my uncle, there was tons of laughter, memories, and love. It takes time, but it happens.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

coffeenut

So glad you are here.

deakanutz

Surly, I feel your pain and it is horrible, my dad died Oct 17 last year so I just passed his year anniversery of his death, very sad day. Holidays birthdays etc with him not there was horrible. I drank every day for three months after his death, I never thought he would leave us it hurt. I finally with some help of my wife stopped drinking because that is not what he would want from me. The only problem being an alchy is that I started drinking again ater 2 months sober because I thought I had it under control. Wrong! I went on an even worse binge until October 10th this year 18 days ago I have been sober since. I walked into an AA meeting and admitted I was an alcoholic and the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I am an alcoholic and it felt great admitting it because I never can drink again. After meetings I log on here and it has really helped me have some ammunition to fight the demons when I want a drink. Stay strong Sur you can do this. I feel awesome and a sober life is great.

Kmber2010

Glad you posted Cathy and know the loss of loved one is difficult period.

Wishing you and your family continued strength and support as you move forward.

Thinking of you and know that we are always here for you.

HumbleBee

Cathy,

I remember when your Dad passed. My heart went out to you with love and support - you were in alot of pain. I could relate all too well.

My Mom passed away 4 years ago this month. She was only 67.

When she died, I couldn't fathom the idea that I would ever be "right" again; she was such a major part of my life - in some ways, I thought that a part of me died with her.

Now it's 4 years later and I still think about her everyday. But it's not a sad, all-day kind of mourning. There have actually been many times when I was sure she was laughing at some funny, unusual things that have occurred.

I don't feel it's necessary to ever say goodbye in order to move on with my life. I carry her with me in my heart and my memories.

I am, and always will be, her daughter. Nothing can take that away; not even death.

And in these past four years I have learned that, "death is not the greatest loss in life; the greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live."

I'm so happy that you still have your Mom. I'm sure your Dad is smiling that you have each other while he remains present in your hearts.

yeahgr8

Your program is shining through mate...nice one:-)