Chan

Thank for all for your lovely messages of support. Within an hour of waking this morning I was thinking 'maybe I'll drink today and quit tomorrow'...... Mind games aren't good.

Bought some herbal sleeping tablets that will hopefully help but more importantly after reading all your messages I know lack of sleep won't last that long. Just going to accept it and deal with it.

One question I'd like to ask is did you all change your routines when you quit drinking? I work from home so the majority of drinking took place at home. Obviously I won't be going out to pubs/bars until I can trust myself (that is going to take a loooooong time). I am also studying for my degree and the brain fog doesn't help. What I'm trying to say is, I usually study in the morning and work in the afternoon. Friend said I should reverse it just to change my routine... I don't know what is right?

Once again, thanks to everyone for posting. It's lovely knowing I'm no doing this alone!

Dee74

Hi Chan

I worked from home to and I changed my routine a lot for a while - keeping it fresh and mixing it up helped me with the associations I had for certain times of the day...it's not the whole battle, but it helped

D

Chan

Cheers Dee. Mix up of routine it is. Would love to go for a walk just to get me out of house but I'm so anxious at moment.

Itchy

Chan,
When you are anxious that is the best time to get out and go for a walk. Make it a fast walk that breaks a sweat, and gets your respirations up. That of course assumes you are in good shape heart and health wise.

I worked from home as a retired writer and consultant for the year and a half when I went from a functional night only alcoholic to shots in my morning coffee and three packs a day of cigarettes to boot. I was different in that I do't have to work so I never hid my drinking nor made any pretense about it. My friends knew I would not drink and drive, so they'd call me 30 minutes before arriving so in case I was still in my robe, I could get dressed. I didn't lose any friends. Fortunately all my lifelong friends either never drank, or never had an issue with it, so I don't have a routine that includes drinkers that I would have to leave and find new friends that aren't centered on drinkling. THey all know I went through detox as I told them before I went in, and the worst thing that was said is I am glad for you let me know how I can help anytime. When someone came to the door at 9 am I had a beer in my hand and if when they looked at it I said I was retired, and went on from there as I never really looked or acted drunk because my tolerance was so high. Sometimes I wouldn't leave my property for two weeks at a time. I would work online or play from 8 am to about 1 PM or so, shower if no one called to come over and visit, and then do some reading or chores.

I am in day 36 now and have some observations about my routine. My wife who is not an alcoholic and is a smoker and has a couple of scotches after 5 for real, and stops, did all the shopping and picked up my stuff along with hers. She never hassled me at all, in fact I was the one who said to her first that I am an alcoholic and my body could not take the pain anymore. She offered to smoke outside and does now. She has been wonderful and understanding of the issues I am facing.

I find that I used my alcohol to not worry about the mess in my workshop/tools/office, and not to have to drive or have issues with the legal system.

Now I find that I am stunned that I can go somewhere and drive myself anytime I want to. But I still am online and when I look up it is 5 PM! My old routine isolated me some, even though my friends and family made it a point to come here a lot.

I am forcing myself to get out earlier and earlier. But I find that the laziness of my drinking is hard to overcome, and day by day little by little I am overcoming it. I go to an AA meeting on Sunday afternoons, and now started going to a twelve step study on Tuesday nights at 6:30 with the same group.

I have had some minor anxiety about weird physiological stuff like swollen ankles now and again but my bloodwork is fine.

I am having a lot of thoughts hit me all at once and instead of obsessing over them or letting all I have to do to get my life and things back in order like I always did until the last year and a half of my drinking, I am taking it slow but sure. I attacked eveything with a frenzy when I was newly sober. Tried to change everything at once. Went to the gym and started to try to get back in shape and everything went well until the nautilus overhead press machine. I over id it on reps and pulled a chest muscle two weeks ago and am just now getting where I can start again but more slowly. BTW I quit smoking at the same time but I wear the patch for now. So far so good!

I am having minor memory lapses, like I can't remember if I did something yesterday or the day before. So I carry a small spiral notepad in my back pocket and write down everything I need to remember, such as appointments names of new people and phone numbers that I review every day and night.

I know this will pass over time. I am paying particular attention to my diet, and keeping myself well hydrated. I have become a mintaholic and gained a few pounds so the change in routine for me is essential as I became a sedentary mess and lost a lot of muscle tone.

Remember that it takes awhile for the newness and some irritating things to go away as we get stronger mentally and physically, so we have to work at getting through those as drinking won't make them go away, just delay going through some, in retrospect, minor discomforts. I am making it through them as the altenative for me I am sure would be death in the near future from the one two punch of alcohol and smoking.

My biggest problem is more energy than I can harness mentally so lists and thinking things over not making snap decisions or judgements is the order of each day. One day and one second sometimes at a time, and then it passes and is so worth it.

Instead of bearing with anxiety most of the time, I just get in my truck and go window shopping or sight seeing, or do a project I have been putting off. Another thing that works is to go to an AA meeting and talk with others who won't judge and been there. They have them at all hours from 6AM through 7PM or later. My regular meetings are only twice a week and the rest of my week I get support here from another angle, and together they work for me. I am getting some friends in that small AA group, as well as here. We do as much laughing and friendship as serious work on our sobriety.

My new life won't be built in a day, and nor will my discomforts being sober pass immediately. But with the help of my HP, and a little help from my friends, it will be built on rock.

Chan

Itchy, thank you so much for posting. You will never know how much you have helped. For the past few hours, shakes etc have kicked in, I feel awful but your posting lifted my spirits. Thank you. You sound like you're doing well. Getting to day 36 must feel great, I can't wait to get through this first month. Day one is killing me but I've got to do this and I will. Just need to get my strength back, booze has made me weak both mentally and physically.

Whole change of routine, not giving into the weakness and having this website to refer to will undoubtly help.

I'M DOING THIS!

bigchief

Chan for me it's two choices first one being the still alcohic lying/self pityious/blaming everyone etc and then it painfully killing me you get the idea or second hit recovery hard and the benefit or a decent life beyond your wildest dreams, BUT if your heart isn't in it you won't recover, good luck my friend