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Finally Had Enough

Old 10-23-2010, 08:54 PM
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Finally Had Enough

Hi All,

I think I have finally had enough of being sick, scared, embarrassed, and broke all the time. I have been an heavy drinker for over 20 years, and it has only gotten progressively worse, even though I try to persuade myself everything is fine. I am living in a constant state of axiety and embarrassment, and have manged to almost lose everything. I walked out and quit my job after showing up drunk (not the first time this has happened), and have isolated myself to the point where I only leave the house if I have money to drink alone in a bar. I lost all of my friends one by one years ago due to my horrible behaviour and my refusal to stop drinking. I have been sober for 2 days now after a month long bender, but am feeling wave after wave of shame, guilt, and anxiety. Just the flashbacks of the things I did want to make me crawl under a rock and hide. Anyway, I know it will get easier, and I guess I need to start rebuilding my life somehow. Thanks to all for the support, there a alot of inspiratrional stories to gain
perspective on getting sober.
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Old 10-23-2010, 08:57 PM
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Welcome nyjets75.. good to have you with us..
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:34 PM
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Hi NYJets
You'll find a lot of ideas and support here
Welcome

D
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:40 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Welcome.....

Your going to meet many of us who are winning over alcohol
This can be true for you too....
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:44 PM
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Welcome to SR Newyorkjets,

Thsi site has been an incredible help, coming here reading and posting the last 6 plus months sober. Iwas a heavy drinker also for decades. You can do this , congrats on those first 2 grueling days, ....it started getting a little better for me after 10 days , I remmber.

Hang in there for day 3 !

Supportive folks around here, ....and from all over.
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:45 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
 
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Please Look on line for AA directory of meetings in your area
and go to a meeting 1st thing when you get up...then reach out and ask
for help from someone there. YOU do not and can not do this alone.
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:46 PM
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Glad you're here, nyjets! It's not easy to come face to face with our drinking and what it does in our lives, so I commend you for that! The good news about stopping is that it can only get better from here. Focus on getting support and information and take it one day at a time.

I didn't think I could get sober, but checking in here daily has really enabled me to keep going for almost 6 months. It's still getting better, too.....
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Old 10-23-2010, 10:36 PM
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NY Jets,
Welcome to the struggle and the rewards. We've all been through our own hell while drinking. I think with each other's help and using every medical/meeting/counseling and online resource you will get to a much better place. Don't beat yourself up so much, as you can make amends later, right now focus on getting all the help and support YOU need. We are here for you too, and you be there for us. Really! Might even find some friends around these parts. If you crave some personal contact where you can be yourself, try some AA meetings and see if they suit ya.

Remember if you don't ask, nobody can say yes.
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Old 10-24-2010, 12:16 AM
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NYJ - Welcome to SR. Keep up the great work. Two days is really awesome!

I was in a similar spot as you (and sort of still am). I wasn't totally sure how to get help. Or involved in AA. I knew I needed it (badly) but didn't know where to start. Do you?

If its at all helpful to you this is what I did:

I called AA and talked to a few people for a few weeks. SUPER HELPFUL. Tons of great people that listened and were encouraging.

Then I got up the nerve to go to a meeting. I was nervous but I knew I needed A LOT of help. It wasn't painful at all - it was a total relief. They set me up with free copies of the Big Book and 12 and 12 (you can find them free online too and audio versions). People swear by these books. Get them. They also gave me a booklet with all the meetings in the city. You'll be very surprised to see how many are in NYC and Brooklyn.

I met people. I went to a few meetings but I still slipped and drank. So after one of the meetings, I listened to what they were saying. 'Get a sponsor'. SO, when they announced sponsors I walked right up to her and introduced myself. Its been very very helpful and is what is keeping me sober. Attending a meeting everyday (on her recommendation) is helping immensely too. I'm feeling a hell of a lot better. Still a bit raw but better.

Anyway this is what is helping me. Hope it helps you.

Just get help. AA has been really cool, actually. Lots of like minded people no different than yourself. You'll be surprised.

It aint easy.

I've got a week under my belt (had 2 prior and 2 prior to that).

Just take it one day at a time.

I'd encourage you to call your local AA chapter in NYC and talk to someone. Don't be afraid to do it -- they're extremely helpful.
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Old 10-24-2010, 01:05 AM
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Welcome, and thanks for joining us! I think you'll find that many people here, myself included, are very familiar with what you describe. Being broke, losing jobs, ruining relationships with family and friends, shame, guilt, embarrassment...All par for the course for an alcoholic such as myself, I'm afraid.

But you can put those things in the past. You don't have to suffer through those feelings. You can have a life that makes you feel happy and even blessed. I didn't think that was possible for me 7 months and 1 day ago, but today as I celebrate 7 months without a drink, I'm happy to report that my life is so much better than I thought it could be. And the really awesome part is that it's only getting better, so I know I have so much more to look forward to.

I'm glad you found this site. Please hang around a while. There are lots of really great people here with collective lifetimes worth of experience and support to share with you. All you need to do is be open and receptive; people want to help. Thanks for being here, and I hope you have a great Sunday! The Jets have a bye, so at least they can't lose, right?
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Old 10-24-2010, 05:14 AM
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Welcome to the best recovery site everywhere! I've been sober nearly a year now and my life has steadily gotten better. Giving up drinking means giving up all the risk that comes with the bottle: health risk, legal risk, injury/death risk, and financial risk. Get all the support you can get, whether AA or another program, this site, counseling, whatever - give it all you've got and you will be rewarded with a better life.
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Old 10-24-2010, 08:34 AM
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Welcome, I'm too at the point you were, I'm over a month sober and admitting that you are powerless over alcohol is the foundation. I know that I will never be able to safely drink alcohol ever again. It is a releif knowing that it is over and I can fully surrender to that fact.
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Old 10-24-2010, 10:07 AM
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Admitting the fact that I was an alcoholic was the single hardest thing I've ever had to do. That was 16 months ago and it turns out it was the best thing that's ever happened to me. We can and DO recover!
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Old 10-24-2010, 09:01 PM
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Welcome im a jets fan too
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Old 10-24-2010, 09:43 PM
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Just remember drinking sucks!
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