Dont drink much but i am an alcy?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7
Dont drink much but i am an alcy?
I work full time as a trades person, drink 4 cans of 6% cider every night, may have another weeker one quite often just to get my 'hit'
The weekends i have about 6-8 of the above, i never drink in the day, dont need to and dont want to. i wont go into the full story yet, but i am drink dependant, i cant have one night off as much as i would love it, and my body is absolutely craving for a break...i just know it is (i feel 'odd' inside)
I dont want to be T total as i dont think im a proper drinker, even my doc says i drink more than needed, but im no where near being desperate. I would just like to give my body a break, get a proper night sleep, wake up buzzing and enjoy the day. On the few occasions i have stopped for a few days (been a long time since that) i wake up and feel life is fantastic, yet when i 1st stop drinking i cant sleep, cant poo and wee a 100 times a day, i wee about 3 times a day now (water retention i guess)
I know i dont drink a lot compared to some but my body cant cope, im 13 st when i used to be 10 before drinking, i have no spring in my step, and have a big gut and man boobs. Im 44 this year and look back at what i was.
late 20's i gave up drink, was a keen cyclist and fit and lean as a buthcers dog, i lacked confidence and was very shy, drink helped that, now its making it worse, i have had panick attacks for the last 10 years and when trying to go into a strange place or talk to strange people with a hangover i flip out, yet do it the next day after work when i am stone sober im great..talk to anybody.
I think i probably am an easy case in some ways, but have so many other issues that i may not be able to be helped
The weekends i have about 6-8 of the above, i never drink in the day, dont need to and dont want to. i wont go into the full story yet, but i am drink dependant, i cant have one night off as much as i would love it, and my body is absolutely craving for a break...i just know it is (i feel 'odd' inside)
I dont want to be T total as i dont think im a proper drinker, even my doc says i drink more than needed, but im no where near being desperate. I would just like to give my body a break, get a proper night sleep, wake up buzzing and enjoy the day. On the few occasions i have stopped for a few days (been a long time since that) i wake up and feel life is fantastic, yet when i 1st stop drinking i cant sleep, cant poo and wee a 100 times a day, i wee about 3 times a day now (water retention i guess)
I know i dont drink a lot compared to some but my body cant cope, im 13 st when i used to be 10 before drinking, i have no spring in my step, and have a big gut and man boobs. Im 44 this year and look back at what i was.
late 20's i gave up drink, was a keen cyclist and fit and lean as a buthcers dog, i lacked confidence and was very shy, drink helped that, now its making it worse, i have had panick attacks for the last 10 years and when trying to go into a strange place or talk to strange people with a hangover i flip out, yet do it the next day after work when i am stone sober im great..talk to anybody.
I think i probably am an easy case in some ways, but have so many other issues that i may not be able to be helped
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Sounds like you'd be healthier without all that alcohol!
Alcohol causes problems for non-alcoholics and alcoholics.. doesn't matter.
Stop for 30 days.. or cut down to 1 a day.. if you can't do either, you may want to get some help.
Stick around!
Alcohol causes problems for non-alcoholics and alcoholics.. doesn't matter.
Stop for 30 days.. or cut down to 1 a day.. if you can't do either, you may want to get some help.
Stick around!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
That quantity might be a lot for every day. From a US medical perspective, I gather it is. I think they say men should not have more than 2 a day. I wouldn't say that someone who takes a drink every day is definitely an alcoholic and I would not say that an alcoholic has to drink every day. I "needed" to drink more than you every day for about 13 years, and knew I was in trouble at the early side of those years. During the last 8 I just "put my head down" and kept drinking and figured I would survive somehow (or didn't care or wondered if I cared, etc etc); but I finally couldn't take it anymore and quit on what seemed like a whim at the time. I could have been working toward it subconsciously though (who knows).
If you are having questions about where you stand with alcohol, that could be a really great thing. If it is tied to your emotions like a relationship would be, then that's where it seems like alcoholism is more of a probabilty. You suggest that it is when you talk about not being able to go without for a night, like it would be a huge deal if you did.
If you have not clicked thorugh a lot of the pages here, you could do so, and get more insight to what you are questioning.
I remember listening to a lady speak at an AA gathering I went to with a friend over 20 years ago, and she said she was an alcoholic even though she had a wee glass of wine in private every couple of weeks or something that sounds benign like that. That was when I first started to grasp the idea that you could be alcoholic without necessarily consuming huge quantities every day; that there was something about the relationship between the person and the substance; the perceived need after the person believes in the steady reliability of this drug. It's just that you would usually hear about or meet people who drank "a lot" if you did not see the reality and variety of alcohlism across a range of behaviors every day.
If you are having questions about where you stand with alcohol, that could be a really great thing. If it is tied to your emotions like a relationship would be, then that's where it seems like alcoholism is more of a probabilty. You suggest that it is when you talk about not being able to go without for a night, like it would be a huge deal if you did.
If you have not clicked thorugh a lot of the pages here, you could do so, and get more insight to what you are questioning.
I remember listening to a lady speak at an AA gathering I went to with a friend over 20 years ago, and she said she was an alcoholic even though she had a wee glass of wine in private every couple of weeks or something that sounds benign like that. That was when I first started to grasp the idea that you could be alcoholic without necessarily consuming huge quantities every day; that there was something about the relationship between the person and the substance; the perceived need after the person believes in the steady reliability of this drug. It's just that you would usually hear about or meet people who drank "a lot" if you did not see the reality and variety of alcohlism across a range of behaviors every day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7
I do class mysely as an alcoholic because i cant have a day off, i could if i really had to not dring durin the week, but that will mean 2 or 3 sleepless nights, then i will sleep like an angel and be buzzing and loving life!
To stop for 30 days would be a dream, is there anything that will take the edge off it, i only need to get through 2 days and im fine, the weekends i will be scrapping the walls, but will be up at the crack of dawn doing the things i want to do.
Im in a catch 22, if i can stop drinking i feel fantastic and do all the things i want to do, yet i cant sleep and when i get in from work i kind of breathe heavy and cant relax.
Im sat here now after 5 cans and on my 6th, i have a boat on my drive which is my pride and joy and need to winterise the engine tomorow to prevent frost damage, i didnt want to drink this much and let the boat suffer damage (which i cant aford) I just want to be normal.
To stop for 30 days would be a dream, is there anything that will take the edge off it, i only need to get through 2 days and im fine, the weekends i will be scrapping the walls, but will be up at the crack of dawn doing the things i want to do.
Im in a catch 22, if i can stop drinking i feel fantastic and do all the things i want to do, yet i cant sleep and when i get in from work i kind of breathe heavy and cant relax.
Im sat here now after 5 cans and on my 6th, i have a boat on my drive which is my pride and joy and need to winterise the engine tomorow to prevent frost damage, i didnt want to drink this much and let the boat suffer damage (which i cant aford) I just want to be normal.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome to SR.
Why not give it up altogether for a month. See how hard or easy it is to give it up and then decide where to go from there. Only thing I know for sure is that if it's causing problems for you in any way then it's a problem to be dealt with.
I gave it up for good ten months ago and don't miss it at all. I just love waking up feeling good.
Why not give it up altogether for a month. See how hard or easy it is to give it up and then decide where to go from there. Only thing I know for sure is that if it's causing problems for you in any way then it's a problem to be dealt with.I gave it up for good ten months ago and don't miss it at all. I just love waking up feeling good.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi Warpa
You obviously know you have a problem, or you wouldn't be here.
I advise everyone to see their doctor before they quit, regardless of how much they drink, because sometimes detox can be difficult.
There's lots of folks here like you, and me, who drank daily or nearly enough to it. You'll find a lot of understanding here.
I don't drink anymore at all - and I won't lie to you - it was hard and tough at times, but I don't regret it. Support is vital I think.
For me, I had to give up on dreams I could cut back or control my drinking - I'm nearly four years sober now
I hope you can find your way to a better life too, whatever that is for you
I wasn't sure what I wanted either when I came here - but this place helped so look around and read and post as much as you like.
Welcome to SR
D
You obviously know you have a problem, or you wouldn't be here.
I advise everyone to see their doctor before they quit, regardless of how much they drink, because sometimes detox can be difficult.
There's lots of folks here like you, and me, who drank daily or nearly enough to it. You'll find a lot of understanding here.
I don't drink anymore at all - and I won't lie to you - it was hard and tough at times, but I don't regret it. Support is vital I think.
For me, I had to give up on dreams I could cut back or control my drinking - I'm nearly four years sober now
I hope you can find your way to a better life too, whatever that is for you
I wasn't sure what I wanted either when I came here - but this place helped so look around and read and post as much as you like.
Welcome to SR
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Toronto68 
That quantity might be a lot for every day. From a US medical perspective, I gather it is. I think they say men should not have more than 2 a day. I wouldn't say that someone who takes a drink every day is definitely an alcoholic and I would not say that an alcoholic has to drink every day. I "needed" to drink more than you every day for about 13 years, and knew I was in trouble at the early side of those years. During the last 8 I just "put my head down" and kept drinking and figured I would survive somehow (or didn't care or wondered if I cared, etc etc); but I finally couldn't take it anymore and quit on what seemed like a whim at the time. I could have been working toward it subconsciously though (who knows).
If you are having questions about where you stand with alcohol, that could be a really great thing. If it is tied to your emotions like a relationship would be, then that's where it seems like alcoholism is more of a probabilty. You suggest that it is when you talk about not being able to go without for a night, like it would be a huge deal if you did.
If you have not clicked thorugh a lot of the pages here, you could do so, and get more insight to what you are questioning.
I remember listening to a lady speak at an AA gathering I went to with a friend over 20 years ago, and she said she was an alcoholic even though she had a wee glass of wine in private every couple of weeks or something that sounds benign like that. That was when I first started to grasp the idea that you could be alcoholic without necessarily consuming huge quantities every day; that there was something about the relationship between the person and the substance; the perceived need after the person believes in the steady reliability of this drug. It's just that you would usually hear about or meet people who drank "a lot" if you did not see the reality and variety of alcohlism across a range of behaviors every day.
If you are having questions about where you stand with alcohol, that could be a really great thing. If it is tied to your emotions like a relationship would be, then that's where it seems like alcoholism is more of a probabilty. You suggest that it is when you talk about not being able to go without for a night, like it would be a huge deal if you did.
If you have not clicked thorugh a lot of the pages here, you could do so, and get more insight to what you are questioning.
I remember listening to a lady speak at an AA gathering I went to with a friend over 20 years ago, and she said she was an alcoholic even though she had a wee glass of wine in private every couple of weeks or something that sounds benign like that. That was when I first started to grasp the idea that you could be alcoholic without necessarily consuming huge quantities every day; that there was something about the relationship between the person and the substance; the perceived need after the person believes in the steady reliability of this drug. It's just that you would usually hear about or meet people who drank "a lot" if you did not see the reality and variety of alcohlism across a range of behaviors every day.
At least being with her stops my panick attackes, she is a strong woman and very loving which is why i would like her to se the reasl me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
When it comes to taking the edge off trying to quit, I wouldn't be of much use, since that is more of a medical question. Maybe a doctor would be interested in putting you on some kind of medication upon quitting, I don't know. I didn't include a lot of medical supervision into my quit. Even though I am still here almost a year later, I don't recommend that approach to others.
It sounds like you are entering a phase of really wanting to quit more strongly than the compulsive/robotic desire to drink. I think it's by talking with others (who have been where you are) that you will see how to act on this. When I quit, I went almost 3 months without even talking to anyone about it; then I joined this site when I needed to interact with others and learn something about what just happened - and to stay quit too. It was rather emotional for me during the first couple of weeks of using the site, and it still is sometimes. Looking at the emotions and studying what goes in our heads is really helpful.
It sounds like you are entering a phase of really wanting to quit more strongly than the compulsive/robotic desire to drink. I think it's by talking with others (who have been where you are) that you will see how to act on this. When I quit, I went almost 3 months without even talking to anyone about it; then I joined this site when I needed to interact with others and learn something about what just happened - and to stay quit too. It was rather emotional for me during the first couple of weeks of using the site, and it still is sometimes. Looking at the emotions and studying what goes in our heads is really helpful.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Hi and Welcome,
I do see contradictions in your posts that you might want to think about. You say you don't need it (the alcohol) but you can't stop.
I also think that looking for an easy way to get through the first few days of sobriety, is not the way to go. Talk to your dr, and if he thinks it's safe for you to stop drinking, then stop. It's not easy, it's really hard, and I think you might be surprised to find out that stopping drinking is only the beginning.
I do see contradictions in your posts that you might want to think about. You say you don't need it (the alcohol) but you can't stop.
I also think that looking for an easy way to get through the first few days of sobriety, is not the way to go. Talk to your dr, and if he thinks it's safe for you to stop drinking, then stop. It's not easy, it's really hard, and I think you might be surprised to find out that stopping drinking is only the beginning.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
And as you use the site, you might wish to give AA a try too. Other people only come here. Still others use both and other options, like counselling and so on. I have not been going to AA, but to my mind, I am benefitting frmo some AA exposure here, because some people do use it and speak from that perspecive well. I just come to this site and the rest is me and my life as I live it now.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Warpa - Glad you're here. I know the insomnia is frustrating, but at least it's temporary. On the other hand, continuing to drink will only make things worse. I agree with the others that there's a problem if you can't go a day without drinking. We all know what that feels like. Hope you stick around and keep posting and reading. All the best to you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome to SR Warpa! You have our support and looking at the great input in this thread you have a lot of it
Look, you aren't happy with drinking and when you wrote this you were drinking and feeling bad about the things you won't do tomorrow because of drinking. Yet, you keep drinking. Red flag that you have a problem.
I have been there as all of us have with struggling on stopping and what to do. I struggled with it for years and while I wasted so many productive days and cancelled plans, etc., I still drank. Vicious cycle.
I agree with others on checking in with your Dr. and getting best steps for quitting. I quit, tossed out the booze and got help.
Life is amazing in sobriety and know that days that like this where you are putting off plans just because you are hungover no longer will exist.
Looking forward to the journey and the new you! Keep sharing.
Look, you aren't happy with drinking and when you wrote this you were drinking and feeling bad about the things you won't do tomorrow because of drinking. Yet, you keep drinking. Red flag that you have a problem.
I have been there as all of us have with struggling on stopping and what to do. I struggled with it for years and while I wasted so many productive days and cancelled plans, etc., I still drank. Vicious cycle.
I agree with others on checking in with your Dr. and getting best steps for quitting. I quit, tossed out the booze and got help.
Life is amazing in sobriety and know that days that like this where you are putting off plans just because you are hungover no longer will exist.
Looking forward to the journey and the new you! Keep sharing.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hello, welcome!
I have been told by the medical professionals who've worked with me and the recovering community that I belong to that the definition of alcoholism and alcohol abuse is not the quantity you drink so much as the effect of it when you do.
In my opinion the important thing isn't "are you an alcoholic?" but it's "is drinking causing a problem in your life and do you need a little help changing that?" I don't think it's necessary to be an ALCOHOLIC in order for it to be wise to cut back on your alcohol consumption. And I don't think you have to be an alcoholic for it to be difficult.
If you are wanting to cut back and are finding it difficult then this place may be helpful to you and I'm sure we all welcome you to hang around.
I have been told by the medical professionals who've worked with me and the recovering community that I belong to that the definition of alcoholism and alcohol abuse is not the quantity you drink so much as the effect of it when you do.
In my opinion the important thing isn't "are you an alcoholic?" but it's "is drinking causing a problem in your life and do you need a little help changing that?" I don't think it's necessary to be an ALCOHOLIC in order for it to be wise to cut back on your alcohol consumption. And I don't think you have to be an alcoholic for it to be difficult.
If you are wanting to cut back and are finding it difficult then this place may be helpful to you and I'm sure we all welcome you to hang around.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
welcome!
My husband went from 14st to 19st over the past few years, and he does not even drink, so sometimes it's not the drinking itself (although that certainly doesn't help) but the sedentary lifestyle that so often comes along with it.
My husband went from 14st to 19st over the past few years, and he does not even drink, so sometimes it's not the drinking itself (although that certainly doesn't help) but the sedentary lifestyle that so often comes along with it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome.......
People do quit drinking to get a chance
on living healthier and more productively.
Alcohol does damage to all drinkers...not only alcoholics.
All my best to you and your partner
People do quit drinking to get a chance
on living healthier and more productively.
Alcohol does damage to all drinkers...not only alcoholics.
All my best to you and your partner
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Isaiah
Hello, welcome!
I have been told by the medical professionals who've worked with me and the recovering community that I belong to that the definition of alcoholism and alcohol abuse is not the quantity you drink so much as the effect of it when you do.
In my opinion the important thing isn't "are you an alcoholic?" but it's "is drinking causing a problem in your life and do you need a little help changing that?" I don't think it's necessary to be an ALCOHOLIC in order for it to be wise to cut back on your alcohol consumption. And I don't think you have to be an alcoholic for it to be difficult.
If you are wanting to cut back and are finding it difficult then this place may be helpful to you and I'm sure we all welcome you to hang around.
I have been told by the medical professionals who've worked with me and the recovering community that I belong to that the definition of alcoholism and alcohol abuse is not the quantity you drink so much as the effect of it when you do.
In my opinion the important thing isn't "are you an alcoholic?" but it's "is drinking causing a problem in your life and do you need a little help changing that?" I don't think it's necessary to be an ALCOHOLIC in order for it to be wise to cut back on your alcohol consumption. And I don't think you have to be an alcoholic for it to be difficult.
If you are wanting to cut back and are finding it difficult then this place may be helpful to you and I'm sure we all welcome you to hang around.
My partner of 5 years says i dont have a drink problem, just a drink habbit and if i had to stop i would (she was married to a registered alcoholic for years)
I know if i stop drinking tomorrow (which i could) then i wont sleep and the evening time i will feel horrible, the next day will be much easier, the day after i sleep through the alarm because i am sleeping so well. By the end of the week i am buzzing, looking better but thinking its the weekend and i can have a drink...so life is great (untill the next day)
I remember the last time i stopped for a week, when i did drink i actually tasted it and it was an enjoyable experience, not a NEED, but that only lasts a few pints then back into the cycle.
My doctor did give me a very expensive pill to take the edge off, it made me drink more and put me in a very violent mood which is very unlike me, i have had counciling in the past for my panick attacks, they were put down to my hangovers.
Things are so complicated, i did only have 6 last night so was able to go out and do what i needed to do, not much hope of that for tomorrow
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
It's not up to your partner to tell you if you have a problem or not Warpa - only you know if you happy or not with your drinking - and you're obviously not.
Whatever you decide to do, I know the only way out of the current cycle is to try something different, mate
D
Whatever you decide to do, I know the only way out of the current cycle is to try something different, mate
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: london
Posts: 24
hi warpa, only you can decide wether you are an alcoholic or not mate, ask yourself these few questions.
1, does it affect your work life?
2, does it affect home life?
3, can you go without a drink for a week?
4, do you feel guilty drinking?
5, do you count the amount of drinks you have?
these are a few bud, how was life with drink dependancy?
you mentioned about how yr body has changed while drinking, then if thats the case why not stop drink and get in shape?.
please do not think im being funny or pedantic, its a few questions i ask and for you to be honest in your answers, what do yr pals think of yr drinking? Your partner says its just "habitual" two drinks a day is recognised as moderate, any more is classed as Alcohlic, search google and it will enable you to learn more.
from my expierience it affects all aspects of my life from friends/family and more importantly self, if i feel low then i would drink to cheer myself up but inevitably its a depressive, but my mind will convince me ill fel better if i do, it may sound crazy but thats my thought pattern as an alcoholic, today ive recovered from the illness of Alcoholism and do not need nor crave it and since that time my life has moved to a secure positive direction, just as you explained yourself at 10 stone and fit, sound familiar mate....Keith
1, does it affect your work life?
2, does it affect home life?
3, can you go without a drink for a week?
4, do you feel guilty drinking?
5, do you count the amount of drinks you have?
these are a few bud, how was life with drink dependancy?
you mentioned about how yr body has changed while drinking, then if thats the case why not stop drink and get in shape?.
please do not think im being funny or pedantic, its a few questions i ask and for you to be honest in your answers, what do yr pals think of yr drinking? Your partner says its just "habitual" two drinks a day is recognised as moderate, any more is classed as Alcohlic, search google and it will enable you to learn more.
from my expierience it affects all aspects of my life from friends/family and more importantly self, if i feel low then i would drink to cheer myself up but inevitably its a depressive, but my mind will convince me ill fel better if i do, it may sound crazy but thats my thought pattern as an alcoholic, today ive recovered from the illness of Alcoholism and do not need nor crave it and since that time my life has moved to a secure positive direction, just as you explained yourself at 10 stone and fit, sound familiar mate....Keith
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
It's been a long time, but when I think of different people I was involved with, I would place a lot of stock in what they had to say about me and other things. I also used to build my life around them - until I got tired of it and made my spouse work. (No one has ever meant more than my work to me in years - trust issue of mine.) Your partner can have her opinion and I am not asking you to shun her, but I would want you to have your own strong opinions about yourself. That's going to be really important when you work on this.
Have you given thought to the idea of seeing the doctor about quitting, I don't think I spotted a post about that?
Have you given thought to the idea of seeing the doctor about quitting, I don't think I spotted a post about that?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
