eremc08

I have this friend.. for about 17 years now. She's been acting so weird lately, like the past year or two. We never hang out anymore and such. Yet, she finds so much time for all of her other friends. (proof = facebook)

So, she's kinda blowing me off a LOT!! .. and it's really pissing me off. I think it might be from my drinking before but it's so irritating. I have two thoughts: 1. Forget about it and move on, find new friends in sobriety or 2. tell her about my sobriety and see if that's the reason she won't see me.

(fyi. she drinks too but not as bad as me)

LaFemme

Hey! I guess it would depend on how much this friend means to you. If you want to keep the friendship and you really think the problem might be due to the drinking maybe you should talk to her about it.

Typically, I don't raise the subject with my friends, but since you seem to think the two things are linked it might make sense.

eremc08

I used to really value our friendship, but lately it's become redundant. We don't text as much and she just flows towards her high school friends. (even though I was one of them but never liked the other girls) .. I was a loner kinda girl. I only had maybe 1 or 2 close friends. I remember my friends at young ages would tell me weird things like "stop looking in my mirror you're too pretty I hate you" or "you're gonna be a model and we don't like you anymore" .. seriously really stupid things but they stuck with me.. Anyway, she has a boyfriend and a life of her own so there's no jealousy but idk. I think due to the fights I would have in front of her with my husband she probably got tired of it.

I guess to answer your question, I don't really care about the relationship enough to mention it. I'd rather move on and find new friends. At least my husband is still always there for me And he's my best friend.

caribbean

My sponsor gave me a valuable piece of advice about sharing the news of my sobriety with others: "Don't ever do it if you are just trying to make a point." It won't magically fix any relationship; that's up to each of us to do the work to repair, whether the rift is related to drinking behavior or not.

If I were in your shoes, I would contact your friend, ask her if there's anything going on, and let her know that you are open to talking about it if there is. If she wants to discuss it, there's your chance. If not, and if you feel she isn't being honest with you, you can share that with her. But be prepared to release the relationship if you don't get the kind of response that will help you both move forward together.

Good luck -- let us know how it turns out.

Anna

I find that if relationships are meant to last, then they do. And, if not, they fade away. I used to spend time trying to hold together relationships that were not meant to be. My advice is to focus on your sobriety and don't try to control the outcome of the relationship.

Fandy

maybe you just do not have that much in common anymore. You are married and have 3 children...she is single with a boyfriend and has a lot more freedom, probably a different point of view on many things.

what did you do together? go out? shop? have girls nights out? pretty hard to do that if your finances are strained. Do you visit eachother? does she help you with your kids?

I'm glad you and your husband have each other, but you need girlfriends with which you have a lot in common too.

Isaiah

Personally, I might start with just asking if there's anything going on, that they want to talk about, or what not. I wouldn't jump straight into alcoholism as you can't be sure that's even the problem.

True as people say, sobriety is most important, although I would contend that sometimes it's easier to fix a friendship than to walk away from one.